Your beard, is it shorter than it usually is?
Yeah, a little bit.
I shaved recently.
This just shows how Jewish I am.
It was three days ago, I shaved completely.
[LAUGHTER] Now it's grown back.
But, yeah, I normally have a much bigger beard
to try to disguise the shape of my face.
[LAUGHTER]
Which is why men grow beards.
Because we don't wear makeup, generally, but we
can make our faces look much longer and more narrow
by growing--
Is that why you do it?
Yeah.
Look at that.
Look how much longer my face looks in that picture compared
to now.
It's an elongation that I find desirable.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, as long as you find it desirable.
I do.
I don't know why.
Yes.
No one else seems to care about--
Does your wife like it?
No.
Yeah, she likes me better like this,
which I'm doing this for her.
And I parted my hair because I've never done this.
And I'm a little self-conscious about it, I'll be honest.
But I was like, Charlize is going
to look good all the time, so I have
to do something to up my game.
So I parted my hair.
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah, it looks really good.
You know what?
I hardly noticed she was here.
I mean--
Exactly.
Due to this.
Do to my hair part.
I don't even know what side it's on.
It really did work.
That's how new it is.
And do you like men with beards?
Do you have a preference between a bearded man
and a clean shaven man?
I think it depends on the guy.
Yeah.
Like, I don't like guys who don't
grow good beards to grow beards, you
know those like patchy ones.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan of that.
But when a man can grow a good beard-- this is a good beard.
Yeah.
I grow a beard.
Yeah.
It's a really good beard.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, you do.
It's filled in.
Yeah.
No, I do like a good beard.
So I understand you're into The Bachelor?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
Every year do you fight it, like I do?
Or do you just go with it?
I do.
Every year I think, God, this time around I'm
not going to probably watch it as religiously as I do.
And every year I'm wrong.
Yeah.
Me too.
Every year I'm wrong.
Yes.
Me too.
It's a good one this year.
Don't you think Colton is cute?
I think every year is a good one.
Yeah.
I think Colton is charming.
She got you into it, right?
I started-- well Bachelor in Paradise was on while we were--
I started on Paradise, I was thrown into the deep end.
Yeah.
But I told you, that's a good place to start.
It was.
Yeah.
And they're so sweaty on Bachelor in Paradise.
That's all I kept thinking.
I know.
Is like, they're fully saturated through their clothes,
and they're drunk.
So that makes them--
The thing about Bachelor that kills me
is that I have a thing with sandy feet,
or just sand in general, in like a home environment.
And, literally, their bedrooms are just sand.
Yeah.
Right.
They don't even have floors.
You know it's smelly there.
They are just sandy, dirty, hormonal, things.
Yeah.
That's your issue with the show?
[LAUGHTER]
Yes.
The sandy feet, yeah.
The sleeping around, I have no problem with.
They actually-- Yes, no, thumbs up.
If you don't know what we're talking about, good for you.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
It really is.
Don't get sucked into it.
[INAUDIBLE]
I forgot I was on a talk show, honestly, just now.
That I could talk about that for hours.
Who do you like?
Who do you think he's going to pick?
I think he's going to pick Hannah.
Hannah.
Yeah.
Yes.
I think Hannah, also.
Yeah.
He's a virgin?
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah.
He says he is.
Wow.
We don't know if it's true.
Jimmy Kimmel thinks he's lying.
Jimmy Kimmel thinks he's not a virgin
and he's just saying that.
I think he's a virgin.
I think he's a virgin, too.
Yeah.
What about the girl that's never been kissed?
That is just-- I just can't--
That's ridiculous.
--wrap my head around that.
Yeah.
I understand being a virgin, but never been kissed is--
Maybe something's wrong with us?
I don't know.
I can't-- that concept makes no--
that I cannot compete with it.
No.
How do you not kiss when you're an adult?
No.
I mean, I was making out with myself at 7.
[LAUGHTER]
Like with your hand?
Yeah, with anything.
I made out with dolls and myself in the mirror.
And it's just gross.
You had the mirror?
Yes.
Would you not make out with yourself in the mirror?
Well, if I looked like that, yes.
[LAUGHTER]
That is true.
If I looked like that I would--
No, but I used to practice on my hand.
Yeah, here, in the--
No.
You didn't do that?
This?
No, that's--
The arm butt.
You practiced on your arm butt.
You practice because it's like lips.
And so you can like--
[LAUGHTER]
So many jokes, I'm not going to make right now.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
It's why I'm single.
[LAUGHTER]
All right.
Try on your hand and you won't be.
All.
Right so the movie is fantastic.
Explain what it's about and why it was so important for you?
Because you really went after Charlize wanting her
in this movie, right?
Oh, very much.
It was a script, yeah, that we've been developing
for around eight years.
And honestly the only interest I ever
had in making it was a version with Charlize,
just because I was a huge fan of hers
and I had watched so many of her movies.
And I would also see her on talk shows and stuff.
And I would always think like wow,
she's so funny and delightful on talk shows.
And in movies she's just murdering people,
for the most part.
Yes.
Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
And I thought, wouldn't it be amazing
if we could kind of connect those two, in some way,
and showcase the non-murdery side of Charlize Theron.
Which is a great thing.
Yeah.
She's very non-murdery in real life.
Yeah.
No, you're very funny.
There's some scenes, laugh out loud funny.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
Really.
Coming from you, wow.
Yeah.
And I was by myself.
I had either The Bachelor last night, or this.
And I chose this over The Bachelor.
Oh!
Wow!
Yeah.
I know how much that means.
I know.
Yeah.