you guys got whiskey they just like you
bark out of order I'm serving customers
and somebody will just walk in the door
and be like yo oh here comes the
VIP you know I mean get the table ready
the overexcited waving isn't gonna help
like you're not dying of thirst if you
go hey rowdy and I have to juice myself
to was rowdy don't use my name who do
you think you are the wait because
they'll get you it's in their interest
to get to you and they know every
that's in the bar that much I can
guarantee you dirty little secret about
alcohol most of it tastes like but
if you wait like five or ten minutes
after you drink you feel a little better
about yourself it's not real it's
totally false but man it'll carry you
through most of your life do not wave
your hand in my face
tapping yo like yelling at the bartender
do not snap at anybody
please don't wave your dumb
smile in my face if I'm turned around on
the register that's not the time to be
like hey six vodka soda is one with a
splash of cranberry one with pineapple
you're gonna get your drink that's the
only reason I'm here you literally had
to pay me to hang out here so you can
get drunk
what I don't like is when people just
don't know how to order he's like do you
what kind of LG berry liqueur do you
have no I got none of it guys never had
a good drink in his life I look around
and it doesn't look like I know what I'm
doing I love a pint of Guinness cuz I
know ultimately that's what I drink
let me get beer what beer I mean
we got like 25 let me get a shot okay
I've had people come in and ask me if we
have vodka yeah
we're just a bar that doesn't have vodka
Long Island iced teas much like Red Bull
and vodka have a bad rap stuffings are
so much difficult to make it's just what
happens afterwards is the problem if
your powerhouse in through like six Long
Island iced teas like that is terrifying
I used to chug along an iced tea to get
ready for my shift cleaning up after
people to drink Long Island iced teas is
not my favorite thing to do because you
usually involves buckets of water and
bleach there's something magical happens
when you step behind a bar girls that I
would never even consider hitting on if
and giving me their phone numbers caught
me out back on I was smoking and try to
make out with me it's cool getting it on
in the bar business is an occupational
hazard
I've had somebody offer to give me a
in the alleyway I get tons of
bears hitting on me big gay guys covered
in hair sometimes I get like kind of
pulled into like oh yeah it's kind of
cute and then I see them get shit-faced
I'm like I love this is why I'm single
don't like come to my door guy with like
a million papers and a photo of
something that you think might get you
in like your college ID is not gonna
work like I'm sorry
I'm 25 oh you know I mean get up
there fake IDs come on really I mean I'm
doing this 25 years in the city you know
fake IDs I remember I had this one kid
he called his mom on the phone out front
of the bar he's a glob the rule of the
bar they took my daddy's fake so we go
and get a balloon tie the kids fake ID
to it and come out front of the bar and
we're like y'all my man just goes up in
the air right in front of his face that
was a good day
[Music]
if you leave me 50 cents on the
bar you're gonna get it back for me and
I'm gonna say some not so nice things to
you if you're having three drinks and
you leave me too and you want to bend my
ear for 45 minutes something's wrong
here I feel all dirty even if it's a
cheap beer you're expected to tip a
dollar
you're not spotting the man by not
tipping us the only person that you're
hurting is is us easy dollar perjuring
couple dollars for a mixed drink if
you're running a tab tip 20 percent on
top that's pretty much the main do-do
tip yeah there is a time when not
tipping is okay when you're not here
learn how to tip appropriately and act
like an adult and if you can do all that
maintain yourself if you cannot throw up
and if you can leave this place pretty
much like you entered it we'd always
have you back