Should teaching religion be considered child abuse?
This is a tough question.
I remember reading "The God Delusion" and Richard Dawkins brings up this point. I think it was one of the--
the mayor points people were talking about; one of the more controversial things in his book.
And he made this case that if you teach your child religion, or certain aspects of religion,
it ought to be considered mental child abuse.
And I remember reading that and I--
I was thinking, you know, I was raised religious. It wasn't Christianity, it was Jainism, but
I remember being raised religious.
I don't feel like it damaged me. I think I learned a lot of things that were untrue.
I think a lot of Christians-- ex Christians would agree with that, too,
but it didn't hurt me. I felt good being religious because I thought my values and morals were in the right place.
So, how could that be abusive in any way?
So, I think it's important to distinguish like,
there are aspects of religion that really should be considered abusive, like
if you are teaching your child that they should not go--
they should not see the doctor,
or you're withholding medicine from them when they're really sick and on the verge of death.
Yeah, I think that's a form of
child abuse. I think if you're allowing your kids to die because prayers are going to save them,
that's abuse. And thankfully most states have laws that will
prosecute the parents who let that happen. That's child abuse.
I think if you're like a Jehovah's Witness family,
who will not let your child receive a blood transfusion,
and would rather let them die in the case of an accident,
because their religious beliefs don't allow for blood transfer like that,
yeah, that's child abuse. I mean, we got to protect those children.
But that's not really what people are talking. I think most people can get on board with that. They would agree with me
that, of course we don't want to let that happen.
But what about teaching your child that God exists? That's what they're really asking. Like,
Is it okay if we teach kids that God exist? That's not abuse, is it?
And I have to say like... No, I don't think it's a wrong thing to teach people to believe
in heaven or God; but I do draw the line
at certain places. I think if you teach your child
that they are a sinner
and that there's something wrong with them from the day they were born and they have to be
saved or baptized, or
you know, they have to become believers
to get out of that sinning stage,
yeah, that's a form of mental child abuse. I think if you teach your child that they have to be abstinent until they get married;
and if they have sex before they get married,
there is something wrong and broken about them and they will
never be able to find true love and, you know, God hates them for it,
I've seen that. I've seen Christian
educators pass around like, "Here's a bottle of--
"Here's a glass and everyone in the class needs to spit in it."
And at the very-- You know, when they
pass it all around the classroom and the teacher holds it up,
"Who wants to take a drink from this?"
And no one does, because that's disgusting.
And they're like, "That's what is like when you have sex with people before you're married".
It's like... That's a form of mental child abuse to me.
That to me is not just miseducating them, because I understand, people--
people may have personal values that say, you know, "Stay abstinent until marriage",
but to teach someone who decides
that, that's not for them? To teach them that there's something wrong with them?
That they're hellbound or something?
That to me is abusive.
If you teach your child, who's gay or lesbian ,
that they're broken, that God disapproves of their
you know, even monogamous, long term relationships, if they're gay or lesbian,
yeah, that's abusive too and I have a problem with that.
And religion even goes worst. What if they teach you
never to question authority figures?
You know, if the pastor says something, is true
and you should accept it.
That's a problem.
Or what about, you know, questioning what the Bible says or questioning their faith?
We ought to encourage children to question their faith
because if their faith is right,
then there's no problem with questioning it. They'll be led in the right direction.
But if their faith is wrong, they ought to be able to say, you know, "I don't
understand why the Bible says this when it's bad for us, when it's
patently untrue".
We should encourage that sort of thinking, that sort of critical thinking.
Some churches don't do that.
In some cases, some religions teach you that
you're hellbound if you're not baptized or saved. And it teaches you that your way, your religion,
is the only right way to live.
So, you're evangelical Christian, but by the way, your Jewish best friend,
that guy is going to hell. And that Hindu over there,
that person's going to hell. Atheists? Oh, my--
Of course, they're going to hell!
Like that to me, that idea that you're right but everyone else-- isn't just wrong,
because we can all have disagreements,
but they're going to suffer for all of eternity?
To put that thought into a child
who doesn't understand that it's all a fairy tale?
That to me could be abusive.
And then obviously, if you're teaching a child that
evolution is wrong, or climate change isn't really happening,
or things that are scientifically verified.
If you're telling them that all of that is a hoax,
perpetrated by, I don't know, secular humanists or something,
because we were all created in the image of God,
and because, of course, man-made climate change isn't a real thing because
God will take care of us,
or we'll be raptured in the next, you know, few years or something.
When you're teaching a child that reality is untrue
because our myth is real,
that to me is also considered abusive in a sense.
And none of this is to equate that stuff with
physical child abuse. I'm not saying they're on the same level or anything.
But to me, if your religion is teaching you things that are untrue and harmful
because that's what God
wants us to believe, and that's what God says is true and don't you dare question it, just be faithful,
I think we ought to be worried.
So, here's what I'm say-- I'm not saying
parents who teach their kids these things, I'm not saying they should go to jail; I'm not saying they should be prosecuted.
But I know as a parent,
when I have kids myself one day,
I would not stand for anyone else
telling my children that that's what's actually true.
I would not stand for that. That person has no business being around my child.
Because I don't want them
to feel like there's something wrong with them
because they don't believe in whatever that adult believes.
And I feel sorry for the children of those Christian parents, or religious parents,
whose parents are teaching them those things. What a horrible childhood
to grow up fearing hell
and learning things that are untrue.
You know, hopefully you're educated about this stuff later.
But to stay in that bubble, a lot of those kids don't get to understand how life really works
until much later in life, if that.
So, I feel bad for them.
I think it is harmful. I don't think they're getting the most out of life, if they've been taught those things.
And I do think that's a form of abuse.
My name is Hemant Mehta. I write at FriendlyAtheist.com
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