repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over
keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
overanalyse every single word you hear
“was this a sign that things were going wrong”
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them
stay up every single night staring at your phone
either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons
these constant reminders of your loneliness
into nothing more than a bad dream
or praying just for one second
you could feel the warmth of equally returned love
go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
always bring your notebook, never stop writing
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
watch them smile as you get in your car
talk down on yourself whenever possible
"my life is shit because I deserve it, right?"
you must have done something really bad
it's nearly impossible for you to cry now
avoid your friends for weeks
even though they’re the only sense of consistency you have left in your life
if they really wanted to see you they’d come
but they won’t (who cares?)
allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you
don’t fight it
become a secondary character in your own motion picture
but most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum
learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach
you’re drinking bottled love now
you don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness
you just needed to find a way to talk to it