mAC
No intro, we're just getting straight into it
There's construction happening right outside my goddamn window
And it only just stopped right now and I don't know how long they're gonna stop or how long its gonna last
So we're gonna try to get through as much as we can, without all the loud drilling
I got this nice apartment, but bitch it was cheap for a reason.
Okay?
Nobody wants to live next to a jackhammer.
Except for a jackhead
Heh... me
But replace it with crack. Today, I'm just going to react to random videos on my phone.
I don't know
I just thought this was gonna be a thing.
I saw a video that was from a recommended page of
"Random videos that were saved to my phone."
And I was like
You know what?
That's-
really-
weird.
So I'm just gonna make a video about it too.
Instead of giving you guys a compilation of videos that are saved on my phone,
I'm going to be reacting to them myself because I haven't seen
a shit ton of them in a while.
Honestly
I'll save a video and then be like
"K."
Then do nothing with it, like literally nothing bitch.
Today, we're gonna be reacting to random videos on my phone!
Random videos on my phone?
Random videos on my phone.
That is all the moving I'm going to do today
I-
I'm not going to go back there anymore.
Like, that's, I-
I'm sore, and I'm tired.
I'm sired.
Sore-ded..?
What?
I have 491 videos saved on my phone.
Bitch?
Since when?
Why am I recording things?
When did I think my life was interesting?
That's the biggest question.
Like, since when have I thought I was doing enough shit to record it and save the video?
Like, excuse me?
Half of my life is literally just me sitting in front of a computer.
So, ha, somebody's lying to themselves.
So, we're just gonna start for the beginning, and we're just gonna go down the line bitch.
Hopefully, this is not a long-ass video
But at the same time, if it is, I saved a lot of weird ass shit.
Here we go!
I don't want that one. I don't want that one. I don't want that one. I don't want that one
I don't want that one. I don't want that one. I don't want that one
oH
*incomprehensible yelling*
Ooh, never mind.
Guess I tried to save the Miley Cyrus meme, but then changed my mind
K.
I don't want that one either.
And what is this?
Bitch, I would.
[Laughter]
Bitch, I so would, that's like, the problem like I so would, I just, so would.
I don't even know if I ever used this.
But I have it, it's here. It's on my phone, playing with balls, with a bunch of sound effects, a gorilla, bitch. I'm here
Bitch, that's me.
You can take that in a racist way, if you want, I didn't mean it at first.
But then I thought about it for a second, and now here I am.
K great, let's play it one more time actually?
Play with balls
Let's together play with balls
I would like to play with all these balls!
Like, why is that actually me? Like, why- and I don't mean in a racist way I just mean like why is that-
Why do I relate-?
I wonder how I would be if I actually did crack. That's the question.
Oop, there's my nipple.
Don't need this one (x7)
oh
What's this?
That's tea actually.
Yep [Laughter]
I've used that one so many times. I'm not even- I totally forgot about-
Oh my god, I totally forgot about this one for a good sec.
I used this so many goddamn times.
She thought she was the shit when she did this.
She thought she was unlocking some secret gay code, bitch.
She opened the portal and got all this fucking clout, because she said this in the right way
The right syntax.
The right sentence formation.
With the period in all, bitch.
She was proud of herself. That is the face of "Bitch, I did that."
Bitch, I conquered. Bitch, I came, I saw, I went, and I said it.
That's tea actually.
[Music]
[Laughter]
Don't care about that one, don't care about that one- oh OH [Chuckling]
Here's the video of me filming a random man I found attractive, while I was sitting waiting for my class
Y'all thought, I was above it.
Y'all might of thought, I wasn't one of them, but bitch I've been there, you know, I've been around the block
I know what I'm doing.
Okay?
Saying this wasn't my first rodeo down the creepy train. Okay, bitch
I'm surprised I got a man too - I don't know how the hell he fell in line
I don't know what trapdoor he fell through, but bitch I got it. I caught one
I maybe liked his tattoos.
I really liked the guy's tattoo. You have some fine ass tattoos like that man
had some fine ass tattoos, like a man with a bunch of tattoos, that can rock the shit
And is like, unapologetic about it can have this bussy.
Like, I don't know if I can date the bitch,
but I will give it to him every Sunday if he asks for it.
You know what I mean?
That was so rude-
Don't care, don't care, what is this?
Have you ever met a woman before Jeffrey?
*cackle*
I don't remember this one at all actually.
You bitch, you ruin my life you stupid h0E. No one likes you you pUSSY HOE.
*inaudible* in my life! Get the fuck away, you bitch, you fucking dirty ass-
[Laughter]
[Inaudible impersonations of the video]
I remember this one! I don't know if I ever used it
Either actually, I think I just saved it. I'm just like this is me
You bitch you were my life you stupid HOE
Nobody likes you, you [inaudible] HOE
That's what you [screams]
[Laughing while impersonating video]
That's tea actually. Saved the bitch twice.
Oh bitch
Oh my god
No, I did NOT
[Laughing] Oh shit
Did I really save-
Oh god dammit, GOD DAMMIT
Wait a minute! I don't remember this one!
Video: Sooo...
I want you to show me how you squirt...
I can explain, I can explain.
I saved the entire thing, like not just that section the entire thing's on my phone,
I just want to show you that section, because that's the only the PG 13 part, that isn't triple X, but
[Through laughter] Let me just- let me EXPLAIN
I saved it for a video, just for videos just for video
I did not save for any other recreation or practice
But I know their pop culture
If you don't know anything I'm talking about with that one section of that video
Then you don't have to live your entire life without
Knowing just skip ahead bitch. Move on with your life, save yourself, but for the people that do know
Hell, yes, bitch we got one
Call Daddy
Which Daddy? You have seven
[Laughter] What else, what else, what else, what else, what else, what else-
Oh, yeah, just like every reality TV show reunion special be like, yeah
There's a T (x10)
I don't know. I don't know
I thought it was funnier than it is, but honestly the bitch kind of goes flat after the first like three times
First of all, what phrase? What sentence?
[Singing] Kiki, are you riding?
Say you never ever leaving from beside me
No, I don't want to leave from beside you
You say you're getting real sick on my attitude thinking back to the day. You say it BAM. I love what you got back
Okay I'm done [Laughing]
Oh yeah, oh yeah
[Woman singing inaudible words on repeat]
Hey, what are you having for breakfast today?
(Fried Egg)
I forgot what I put in fried rice
Oh simple it's just-
(Fried egg)
Okay I'm done
Oh yeah and then there's this- I can't show you that one
I can't show you that one. That one- I can't show you that one
That one's too much.That one- I one can only play the beginning of it and that's it
Okay, you're not even going you know, you're gonna see he's gonna hear it. This is all
[Woman moaning]
Okay, we're done we're done we're done we're done over this know that that wasn't a clap in the background
I mean something was clapping, but it wasn't hands
Parents, take your kids away
Oh, and then of course, of course-
You know what we are, don't you? We're COCKDESTROYERS
COCK-FUCKING-DESTROYERS
Yeah, fucking cock-destroyers
Ok, we can't do this, we can't do this! We can't do this guys, we can't do this!
Parents, I'm so sorry, take 'em away, take 'em away, for a second!
Play some ball outside, go do some homework, go to summer school.
What is this one?
[Inaudible distorted sounds of someone singing]
Oh- I said never mind. I said, I don't know if I want this. I was interested for two seconds and I was like, nope bitch
I don't even have a resaving of that. I just have that. Oh, yeah, I have this too
[Woman singing] "So what if I'm the monsteeeeer
that's been here all along"
Have that saved four times on my phone. I don't know when I don't know
For what reason but it's here. Oh, no, I have the Christmas version
[Woman moaning] "Oh, it's Christmas, and I am [inaudible], but not for me!"
They were playing patty-cake kids.
Unacceptable!
Condition!
UNACCEPTABLE!
Yeah, there's this one
[Singing] Is there something else you're searchin' for
Okay, so we've been sitting here chilling for like 30 minutes I think I'm reaching the end point
A lot of these videos are just like things I sent on snapchat that I saved cuz I thought it looks cute
I'm not trying to brag that much in this video.
Oooh
Why do I have porn? Why is there porn? Saved onto my phone Mac? Why- this is recent? This is very recent.
Actually, why is there porn? How did that happen? Wait, I'm actually very-
Confused. When did I do this? I don't even oh wait. No, wait. Okay. Wait. No, I remember what happened. I remember had it
Oh my god, I didn't save the porn because I liked it. I'm just going to- this is a very long story
I'm not even gonna get into it
just know that I am very weird and now there's a video of a man showing his
Asshole on my phone and on that note. Thank you guys so much for watching. What have we learned today
Kids?We learned that I'm a freak and that's all we learned. Did we actually learned that did we already know that I think we already knew that
Moral of the story, bitches be doing some shit, you know bitches be trippin'
Bitches be trippin, you know?
They'll trip you be like wait. You're a bitch. Okay.
I mean that wasn't 491 videos
I just showed you but that was-
enough.
Enough for any-
dEMONS
[Screaming]
I'm leaving.
["So what if I'm the monsteeeer" playing on repeat]