♪♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK.
LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.
♪ ♪ ♪ JON, WHAT WE'RE KIND OF MATCHY-M
TONIGHT.
>> Jon: I LIKE IT.
I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD DO THAT MORE OFTEN.
IT'S FEELS LIEB THE BROTHERHOOD.
>> Stephen: WE SHOULD DO THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU IN THE
FLESH.
WE TRIED TO SEE EACH OTHER THIS WEEKEND.
I TRIED TO COME DOWN AND SEE YOU WHERE YOU'RE AT RIGHT NOW AND
TRY TO HAVE A LITTLE LUNCH WITH YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONE WITH THE
DOG.
WE TRIED TO BRING BENNY DOWN.
>> Jon: YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND I'M HERE TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW FOR THE BENNY
FANS OUT THERE, BENNY WAS BITTEN BY A SNAKE OR ATE A BEE OR WASP
AND HAD AN ANAPHYLACTIC REACTION, AND I NEVER GOT TO SEE
YOU.
WE HAD TO RACE HIM TO AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.
AND I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO THE VORHESESP ANIMAL CLINIC
AND DR. CHELSEA.
WE PULLED OVER ON THE WAY TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, AND SHE RAN OUT
AND INJECTED HIM WITH SOME BENADRYL AND SAVED HIS LIFE.
THANK YOU, DR. CHELSEA.
HE'S FINE, BY THE WAY.
HE'S CHEWING UP EVERYTHING IN SIEPT.
THERE'S NO STOPPING HIM.
>> Jon: OH, YEAH.
THAT'S WHAT HE DOES.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.
>> Stephen: JON, DO YOU HAVE-- DO YOU HAVE ANY PINK, SPRINGTIME
MUSIC, SOMETHING THAT MATCHES YOUR-- YOUR CARDIGAN?
>> Jon: LET'S SEE, SOMETHING OF THIS VIBE LIKE...
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE.
>> Jon: YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE OTHER PART.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE THE HEART I'M THE SOUL.
OR YOU'RE THE HEART-- WHATEVER.
JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT, BUT IT REALLY
FEELS LIKE THE TIDES ARE TURNING ON THIS PANDEMIC.
THE C.D.C. IS CHANGING ITS GUIDELINES, BUSINESSES ARE
REOPENING, AND NETFLIX IS FINALLY RUNNING OUT OF VIABLE
VIEWING SUGGESTIONS.
"'TURTLE MATCHMAKER'?
OKAY, I'LL WATCH EIGHT OR NINE EPISODES, BUT THEN I'M GOING TO
DEFINITELY RE-EVALUATE WHETHER I'M WATCHING THE NEXT TEN."
OKAY, I'LL WATCH THEM.
BUT AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR OF ISOLATION AND SOCIAL DISTANCING,
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE FEELING NERVOUS ABOUT HEADING BACK INTO
SOCIETY.
IT'S A CONDITION BEING CALLED "RE-ENTRY ANXIETY."
BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING THIS PANDEMIC HAS TAUGHT US,
IT'S THAT IMPORTANT THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE A BACK-UP SUPPLY OF
TOILET PAPER AND ANXIETY.
A LOT OF ANXIETY CENTERS ON HOW TO ACT AS WE RE-ENTER SOCIAL
SITUATIONS SINCE WE'VE BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO COVID-ERA SOCIAL
ETIQUETTE. YES, THE PANDEMIC HAS CREATED
COMPLETELY NEW RULES FOR SOCIAL ETIQUETTE, LIKE, DO I REALLY
NEED TO WEAR UNDERWEAR WITH MY BATHROBE JUST BECAUSE THE
FED-EX GUY IS HERE?
AT THIS POINT, HE'S LIKE MY BROTHER.
THE POINT IS, WE ALL HAD TO ADJUST TO THE PANDEMIC AS OUR
NEW NORMAL.
AND NOW, AS VACCINATIONS RISE, EXPECTATIONS AROUND SOCIAL
INTERACTIONS ARE CHANGING AGAIN, AND NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO NAVIGATE
THEM BECAUSE, AS ONE EXPERT PUTS IT, "THERE AREN'T ANY ETIQUETTE
MANUALS I CAN REFERENCE IN TIMES LIKE THESE."
NOW, IF YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE FEELING ANXIOUS ABOUT
SEEING PEOPLE AGAIN, YOU SHOULD REALLY SEE SOMEONE ABOUT THAT.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, WE HERE AT "A LATE SHOW" HAVE CREATED A
SHORT EDUCATIONAL FILM TO HELP YOU OUT.
JIM?
♪ ♪ ♪ >> RE-ENTERING SOCIETY, HOW TO
AND WHY FOR?
SO YOU SPENT A YEAR IN ISOLATION, THEN GOT JABED IN THE
ARM BY A STRANGER.
CONGRATULATIONS!
IT'S THE FIRST STEP IN RE-ENTERING SOCIETY.
BUT BEFORE YOU HEAD BACK OUT INTO THE WORLD, YOU NEED TO
REMEMBER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE AROUND WHAT SCIENTISTS CALL
"OTHER PEOPLE."
( SCREAMING ) FUN FACT: DID YOU KNOW THAT
SOCIALIZING USED TO BE A SOURCE OF FUN AND ENJOYMENT?
AND IT COULD BE AGAIN IF YOU FOLLOW THESE POST-PANDEMIC PARTY
DO'S AND PARTY DON'T.
ATTENDING SOCIAL EVENTS AGAIN WILL BE AWKWARD AT FIRST.
JUST REMEMBER, DO ENTER THE PARTY WITH A NICE GREETING.
>> HELLO, FELLOW PARTY-GOERS.
I BROUGHT SOME REFRESHING ALCOHOL.
>> AND DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE ON ZOOM.
>> HELLO, IS THE CAMERA ON?
CAN EVERYONE SEE ME?
MY INTERNET IS A LITTLE SPOTTY SO I MIGHT START TO FREEZE.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE
SOMEONE WITHOUT A MASK, DO OFFER THEM A COMPLIMENT.
>> NICE TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN.
IT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT THEIR MOUTH.
>> GOD, WHAT IS THAT HOLE UNDER YOUR NOSE?
IT'S LIKE A BIG, WET EYE LID.
WHAT ARE THOSE WHITE THINGS IN THERE?
ARE THOSE BONES!
>> DO ASK FRIENDLY QUESTIONS.
>> HOW IS YOUR FAMILY?
ARE THEY WELL?
>> DON'T TREAT THEM LIKE THE PET YOU QUARANTINED WITH.
>> SNACK?
SNACK?
SOMEONE NEED A SNACKY?
>> BEING SOCIAL AGAIN MIGHT BE EXHAUSTING SO DO FEEL FREE TO
HEAD HOME EARLY.
>> FAREWELL, PARTY-GOERS.
>> DON'T ATTEMPT TO CRAM A YER'S WORTH OF PARTYING INTO
ONE NIGHT.
>> ATTENTION, EVERYBODY!
I ( BLEEP ) ANYTHING THAT MOVES!
>> AND FINALLY, BEING AROUND PEOPLE AGAIN WILL TAKE SOME
GETTING USED TO.
SO DO RELAX AND JUST BE YOUR OLD SELF
( BELL DINGS ) >> BUT DON'T START WORRYING, IS
THIS MY OLD SELF?
HAVE I ALWAYS BEEN AWKWARD IN SOCIAL SETTINGS?
MAYBE I NEVER ENJOYED OTHERS THAT MUCH TO BEGIN?
OH, GOD.
I DO LOOK AWKWARD?
I FEEL AWKWARD?
CAN THEY TELL I'M THINKING THIS?
DO I HAVE A REAL PERSONALITY OR AM I JUST A CONSCRIPT OF ALL THE
MEDIA I CONSUMED IN ISOLATION.
WHAT WERE THINGS EVEN LIKE BEFORE THIS?
REMEMBER, THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU MIGHT FEEL THE SAME WAY.
>> GOOD-BYE.
>> VERY MUCH.
>> WELL, THERE YOU HAVE IT.
FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE DO'S AND DON'T, AND YOU'LL BE HAVING
FUN-- OR SOMETHING LIKE IT-- IN NO TIME.
AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AT THE PARTIES.
NO, FOR REAL.
PLEASE, INVITE ME.
I'M INCREDIBLY LONELY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LISA KUDROW.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪