How much do you struggle with knowing when and how to
speak up in a conversation in English,
especially when no one pauses to ask you what you think? Here's what, I mean,
a few weeks ago,
I received an email from someone who recently started to work full time in a
completely English environment. And for her,
the problem isn't following the conversation and
it isn't coming up with valuable things to say,
she's able to do both of those things very well in English.
The problem is how and when to speak up,
when there isn't a clear break in the conversation and when no one asks
her. Here was her specific frustration, "but how to,
and when to express my thoughts in a meeting is a challenge.
If I am specifically being asked during the meeting to share my thoughts,
I can do it. But often I find that I don't know,
or I'm not quite sure how to start sharing my thoughts without
being asked." Just like my student,
you might be waiting for the perfect moment to jump into a conversation,
but that perfect moment never comes. So what do you do?
If you don't already know I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,
everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for
your life and work in English. Now, with this topic,
you might be curious about how to interrupt a conversation in
English, and I've already got a lesson on that.
So if you're looking for specific phrases to help you interrupt a conversation,
I'll share a link to that lesson, but here,
we're going to talk about how you can fully participate in English conversations
without feeling rude for interrupting,
without apologizing and without missing opportunities to
speak. In other words,
knowing how and when to speak up.
[Inaudible].
All right. Here's how this lesson is going to work today.
We're going to split it into two parts at the beginning.
We're going to start with three simple ways for you to know how to
speak up. In other words,
what signals can you listen for or watch for?
And what signals can you use to show that you have something to say?
Then we'll transition into what to say when it's the
right moment.
And what I mean by that is that the moment might arise on its
own, or you might have to create that moment.
So let's get started with those three tips on how to speak up.
Tip number one is to listen carefully for opportune moments.
What this means is rather than focus internally on
what it is that you want to say and worrying about the right moment,
staying engaged in the conversation,
follow it and listen for those little signals or moments that
allow you the space to speak up.
Remember others won't always stop and ask what you're thinking.
Sometimes you just have to jump in. Of course,
when we talk about opportune moments to jump in,
ideally there would be a pause in the conversation or a natural
transition. When I say a pause,
what I mean is that someone has clearly finished speaking.
There are several seconds of silence.
So that's a great time to jump in and speak up.
Similarly, a natural transition is also a great time to do that.
That is when the conversation begins to shift to a new topic. For example,
maybe you're in a business meeting going through items on an agenda.
And when the conversation starts to shift to a new topic,
that's a great moment to jump in and say what you want to say before the
conversation moves forward.
The problem is sometimes those opportune moments never happen.
There are too many people in the conversation everyone's trying to contribute,
so that perfect pause or that perfect natural transition never
occurs when that's the case. It's time to move on to tip number two,
use body language,
whether you're participating in an online video conference or in a
face-to-face meeting,
a simple raise of the hand is a great indication that you have something to say.
Similarly, if the meeting is online,
you can use a raised hand reaction or even type in the chat that
you have something that you want to contribute. If the meeting is face-to-face,
you can also lean forward into the conversation.
That also is a signal that you're fully engaged and have something to
contribute. Now,
if you're worried that body language just isn't going to work,
let's go on to tip number three, take advantage of the agenda.
If your team has access to the meeting, agenda in advance,
take time to review it and identify at which point in the agenda would be
the best opportunity for you to add your ideas.
Then to confirm that there's time for you to share your thoughts in the meeting.
You can mention to your boss that you have something you'd like to share prior
to the meeting. By giving your boss or a colleague,
a heads up that you have something to say.
It's very likely that they will make sure to pass the baton onto you during the
meeting. Following
any one of those tips will help you create opportunities for you to
participate and speak up when you want to. Now,
before we go on to what to say, when you start to speak up,
I have one recommendation for you. When you know,
you have something to contribute, don't wait too long to say it.
Have you ever noticed that while you're sitting in the meeting and thinking
about what you want to say, the longer you wait,
the more anxious you get,
rather than sit with that anxiety and risk feeling stuck
or losing your thoughts. When you start to speak,
don't wait too long in the conversation.
This doesn't mean that you have to be the very first one to speak up.
If you're not comfortable with that, you don't need to,
but perhaps after the first person responds to a question or
the first person initiates a conversation,
you could be person number two or three to jump into the conversation.
Now that we have those tips and my recommendation,
let's talk about what to say when you have the opportunity.
For this,
I have three recommendations to help you think about how to phrase
your initial sentences when it's time to speak up. Recommendation number
one is pose a question.
What I mean by this is rather than immediately stating what you want to say,
start with a simple question that politely asks for permission to
jump in or to interject doing this helps to ensure that you've chosen the right
moment to jump in. And if someone isn't quite finished speaking,
or if they want you to hold on, just for a moment, they can tell you to do so,
but they know that you have something to say.
You've made it clear that you want to jump in.
So here are a few great ways to do that.
Could I jump in quickly and share my thoughts here? May I add to that?
Excuse me, may I share my thoughts on this?
These questions are particularly useful when you're not really sure about the
discussion dynamics. For example,
let's say you've just joined a new team and you're not really sure how everyone
communicates by posing one of these questions.
It opens a window of opportunity for you to contribute to the conversation
without feeling guilty and without apologizing recommendation.
Number two is to politely assert your thoughts.
If you're sure that you've chosen the right moment to jump in,
rather than posing a question, you can simply state your intention.
For example, I'd like to jump in here or while we're on this topic,
I'd like to discuss. And finally, if I could,
I'd like to add my 2 cents.
Here's how one of these sentence starters might sound in a complete sentence.
I'd like to jump in to point out that we need to define our deadlines before we
move on to the next stage. And now recommendation number three,
piggyback on others to create moments for you to speak up.
As I've mentioned in a previous lesson on how to think out loud in English,
piggybacking on other's ideas is a great moment to jump in and share
your thoughts.
And it also shows that you have appreciation or respect for what someone
else has said. When you piggyback on someone else's thoughts.
What it means is that you listen to what they have to say carefully.
Then when it's your time to speak up, or when you create that opportunity,
you acknowledge what they've said and add to it with your own ideas.
Here are several ways that we do that in English.
I agree with Anna and I would like to add, thank you for bringing this up.
I'd like to point out that before we move on,
I'd like to discuss a related idea. Excuse me.
I'd love to add to Anna's thoughts. And lastly,
while I agree with what Anna said, I think,
and then you continue with your opinion now that you know how
and when to speak up in English,
let's do a little bit of practice so that you're a hundred percent ready to
implement these strategies. The next time you're in a conversation,
I have two scenarios for you,
and I want you to use these as practice opportunities,
listen carefully to these scenarios and consider what you've learned today and
how you would create an opportunity for you to jump into the conversation and
speak up in scenario. Number one,
imagine that you disagree strongly with one of your coworkers on how to
deal with a client during the meeting,
your colleague discusses the situation at length,
and there's not really a moment for you to jump in.
How might you create that opportunity?
How could you identify a moment to jump in and create a space
for you to express your opinion?
Think about the tips and recommendations you've learned here today.
How would you put those together and use them in this scenario?
You can share your practice example with me in the comments below,
and now let's move on to practice scenario. Number two in this scenario,
imagine that you've joined a new team and you've been working with them for
about two months. At this point, you are getting more comfortable with the team,
but there are some meetings when you still feel a bit hesitant about
asserting yourself and jumping into the conversation
based on what you've learned here,
how would you plan to speak up in the next team meeting when
you have something that you want to contribute again,
you can share your examples with me in the comments below.
If you found today's lesson useful to you as always, I would love to know.
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Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to seeing you next time.