John: Elga can do a great Swedish accent. No offense to anyone. We're not being racist. It's just a generalization, right?
John: Elga, in your own time, can we hear your Swedish accent, please?
Elga: No...No...*in an accent* oh, we're going to do... the Swedish spreads. *laughter*
Dónal: I like spreads. I like butter. Butter is probably my favorite spread.
Richard: Butter is kinda the OG. Dónal: Yeah.
MC: No matter what spread you give us, no matter how Swedish and divine it is
It's never gonna (Éadaoin:no) compare to speculoos.
Éadaoin: That's true.
MC: So, you know, I'm ju--I'm just going to set that standard right now.
John: Oh great. So it's like Swedish cheese and stuff. *GASP!*
They do great soft cheese spreads! Yum-O!
John: *looking at tube of Messmor Caramelized Cheese* Wow...
Éadaoin: that looks like something you'd put under your sink, like that's utility-based
Dónal: It looks like you could glue a table to the fuckin' ceiling.
Richard: I'm thinkin of primary school, like, paint.
Elga: It's like ointment. *drops cap, minor mayhem ensues*
Éadaoin: what is it? *MC squeezes some out* Ohhhh.
John: It doesn't smell like anything.
MC: I can't make head nor tail of that. I can't make hoof nor ear of that. *Éadaoin laughs*
Dónal: *disappointed* Oh, no, I thought it was gonna be like pâté!
John: Is it sweet or is it the crackers?
Dónal: Is it sweet? What am I eating??
MC: I'm so confused!
Éadaoin: It doesn't really taste of anything.
MC: Is this like just nothing paste?
Colin, off-screen: it is caramelized cheese
Richard: Hmm!
Dónal: Oh, I wish you didn't tell me that.
Elga: There's a slight caramel taste isn't there.
John: Yeah
Elga: and it's got a nice consistency.
MC: I might be milking it but (Éadaoin: ohh)...yeah that was very cheesy...but I, erm, think it's crackers.
Dónal: It looks like glue that could fix a relationship. That's how strong it looks
Dónal: Another tube!
John: *goofy, midwestern US-Swedish hybrid accent* and that's your stereotypical Swedish kid right there
Amirite? He's got the blond hair. He's got blue-er eyes than, uh, the color of the ocean and....
MC: Oh my god! Is that the condensed remains of a Swedish boy?
MC: Is that what we're eating?
Elga: He looks... he's doing a... *pained, fake smile, strained voice* "haaaa, I like it! I like it!"
Richard: This one literally has the IKEA, like, colors, doesn't it?
Dónal: That's so Swedish. Richard and Donal overlapping: oh yeah, those are swedish colors, that's so swedish, swedish colors *laughter* that makes sense yeah
Éadaoin: Is it tuna? Is this mashed up tuna?
John: Oh, it is lil' fish!
Elga: You can buy it in a market. Oh, it's gonna be salty.
MC: Oh, I hate fish. I hate fish. Ah!
Éadaoin: Who puts fish in a tube??
John: did you ever get a... like a a spot (pimple)...and ya pop it? *Elga squeals and laughs*
Dónal: Would you like to spread me ?
Richard: I'll spread you.
Dónal: Thank you
John: Yous want some? Hold out yisser crackers. *pretends to squirt spread on screen*
Dónal: Oh! I actually really like it on the crackers, but I think that's just because the crackers are amazing
Éadaoin: Reeaaally salty.
MC: Really salty.
John: It's very salty. It's like anchovies.
Dónal: Is it an anchovy fish paste, Colin??
MC:I actually like this
Colin, offscreen: it's made of cod roe.
MC: What's that? Éadaoin: What's the cod roe?
Seán, offscreen: Hard roe is the unfertilized eggs of the female cod and soft roe is the sperm of a male cod.
John: Is that we're eating?
*Éadaoin laughs nervously, wheezing a bit as MC's facial expression gets more and more horrified*
Dónal (yelling): Oh great. We're eating sperm!
John: Oh Jesus. Okay. This is how TRY'll get you:
They're just like "we're just gonna try some sandwich pastes"
and you're like, "okay cool, nothing could possibly go wrong with that." "Yeah?
*yells* "WELL, YOU'RE EATIN' FISH SPERM!"
Éadaoin: How do they even get that, like? Do they wank a fish off? MC: *horrified gasp*
Dónal: It was delicious though.
Richard: Kid looks way too happy to be, uh
Dónal: eating sperm. Richard: Yeah.
John: really tasty (Elga: Yeah,) really nice. if you like fish and anchovies, you're gonna love it.
MC: Oh my god. Sweet God in heaven Colin, please take the fish sperm out of my hands.
Dónal *weird American-ish accent*: Yeah, what are you in mood for? Oh, give me a tube a'... semen! You have any sperm? fish sperms?
Colin, off-screen: wouldja have it again?
MC: No!
Éadaoin: Would I what?
Richard: You did your research into this one.
Dónal : Well done. Yeah. Thank you for giving me sperm, TRY Channel.
John: There is something that I never thought would be on my list of things I enjoyed
John: But I love it. It's really tasty.
Elga: It is actually, really John: It's so nice!
Elga: I've been searching for the wrong kind of sperm.
John: Yeah * both giggle*
MC: I've nothing to say... first time my life I'm speechless, Colin. I have nothin' to say about this.
Éadaoin: It's much saltier than human sperm
MC: *hides her face in mortification* Oh my god, Éadaoin. *laughter*
John: Ah! I hope they have "rocket wren" flavor!
Dónal: God, you can put everything in a tube.
Imagine putting me in a tube, imagine me! *mimes being trapped in a tube*
MC: You know what I like about this one? You can see that there's cheese...
There's some kind of meat based product and there's nothing sperm-ulated there, so I'm on-board.
John: *singing* Rocket Wren Rocket wren, he was a normal little wren,
then he got hit by a NASA spaceship
*Elga bobs her head to his song* and he became the rocket wren!
John: I definitely wouldn't leave my crackers on the table. Just so you know, that thing has seen awful, awful things.
MC: This looks like the kind of toothpaste you really shouldn't brush with.
John: That's a good ol' fashioned processed ham and cheese right there.
Dónal: It's a good thing these goddamn crackers are unbelievable. I'd say I've had 40.
Éadaoin: That is not bad.
MC. That is not bad at all
Éadaoin: That is actually quite good!
MC: Before I go for seconds, there's nothin' incriminating in this, is there?
Colin: This is cheese and smoked reindeer.
Richard: HUH? WHAT? Dónal: Santa!
MC: *MC covers her mouth, speaks softly* oh my!
*Éadaoin squeals*
John: This is reindeer... *sings* Rudolph the red-nosed *NOMNOMNOM*
Dónal: oh I feel really guilty now. Do they have reindeers in sweden?...
....they just t'row 'em into tubes. *laughs*
John: It's still good though.
Elga: Yeah, it's quite a strong flavor.
Éadaoin: Definitely the best one
Éadaoin: But very disturbing that Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen are in here.
Richard: I guess it was "Donner"
Because it looks like the little "doner " kebab.
Elga: It's the cheese as well. There's quite a strong flavor cheese comin t'rough.
John: Yeah
Elga: I don't like those kind of strong flavor cheeses.
John: I wouldn't'a said you were a blended reindeer 'n' Edam cheese type 'a gal.
Elga: no...
Richard: Are they naturally smoked or have they smoked the reindeer?
I know they *mimes hunting* "smoked" them but...
Dónal: yeah tastes like it was smoked * laughs*
Richard: *reading* "Ra...?" Uh, shrimp?
Dónal: Oh my god. No!
Éadaoin: No! Prawn!
MC: Is it prawn?? Oh no, oh, I hate prawn
Éadaoin: Prawn and cheese.
Dónal: This is like somethin' people'd eat in the apocalypse and they wouldn't be too happy about it.
Richard: This is like a last resort food like, "Sorry, it's all we have!"
Elga: *gently squeezing white fluid from the tip of the tube*
Elga: no innuendos whatsoever are coming to mind *she and John laugh*
Dónal: So in Australia, they've got shrimp on the barbie, in Sweden, they've got shrimp in a tubie?
*Elga and John suggestively lick the Rakost from the cracker and his finger, respectively and collapse into a fit of giggles*
John: *looking grossed out, coughs* Oh, ho ho ho, wow!
Elga: oh, Christ
John: *still coughing* It's very strong
Éadaoin (quotes Pumbaa from The Lion King): Slimy, yet satisfying.
Dónal: It's a bit bland.
Richard: It's kinda like... it does taste like mayo.
Elga: I do love seafood chowder
John: Yeah
Elga: and this is kind of like seafood chowder flavored paste
Éadaoin: Why is this happening, like? I'm delirious after tha'.
Dónal: Imagine trying to pick up a chick and you're just there putting tubes of shrimp.
Dónal: *skeevy voice with american accent* " hey baby, you like, you like what you see *gross farty squeezing liquid out noises*
MC: Like that'd be a good camp food. You know,
Éadaoin: Yeah, that's true. Cheese and crackers from a tube.
MC: You know, we're on the go. Oh, come on, Sven.
MC: We've got six kilometers to go. I'm being a stereotype, but my name is Mary so it's fine
MC: You know, let's go. Let's put cheese and crackers Oh go on, let me close the tube up
MC: All right, let's keep going. grab the reindeer. Let's go.
Dónal: Can we just give it up for the VIP: Mr. Crackers.
Richard: The real MVP here. Tesco cracks.
John: Sandwich spreads aren't really much of a thing over here, sure they're not?
Elga: No, not really.
John: But it - like it's great that there's so many varieties of cheese spreads and sandwich spreads
I didn't know...I didn't know that that was a big thing.
Éadaoin: My favorite was definitely Dasher.
MC: Yeah, as much as it pains me to say it I enjoyed, you know condensed reindeer meat
John: to all our Swedish fans out there. We like to say (he and Elga together) "tak"! you very much
John: You little sandwich spreadin' little rascals, you. Fair play to ye. Keep it going now, they're great stuff
Elga: Really nice.
Dónal: Hey, did you like us eating sperm ?
If you did, like and subscribe and touch that dingy little Bell.
Do it! Watch us eat more sperm.
Spermies! Ugh!