it's been a while since my last fight analysis mostly because all of the fights I've seen
recently have made me think 'yeah it was pretty good' but then there was Wednesday
episode one and I had some opinions so full disclosure I'm not sure if this is a fight
analysis or a more of an extended rant with some positives thrown in you have been forewarned.
spoiler warning for episode one the premise of the show is that
Wednesday has been expelled from a bunch of schools and so Gomez and Morticia send
her to their old boarding school Nevermore. Wednesday does not want to go to the boarding
school and she doesn't want to go to the mandated therapy sessions either she wants to be herself.
"I'm smart perceptive and chronically misunderstood even by my parents the most
loving accepting and off the wall people in the universe this has nothing to do with the fact that
I was bullied as a child I am perfectly rational even under the influence of teenage hormones"
and because reasons she ends up challenging this young lady and her excellent contact lenses to a
fencing match let's take it from the top of the scene Wednesday all in black walks straight down
the center of the cell across all of the pistes which is a really bad idea and also kind of rude
this is an echo of the opening scene where she walks down the school hallway and also
Wednesday metaphorically sits at right angles to the world anyway so thematically this makes a lot
of sense should she have walked around the side to avoid the teenagers who have slashy slashy
weapons and limited peripheral vision yes would she have absolutely not side note on the topic
of slashing the subtitles say sound of foils clattering but I'm pretty sure that everybody
has a sabre here that's not relevant but I just wanted to point it out so forget about
two-thirds of the way down the cell and Bianca is fighting Rowan and he's all like 'coach coach
she tripped me' my response to that is not on screen she didn't and the coach agrees with me
'it was a clean strike Rowan' yeah the coach is we'll get to the coach but we're setting up
Bianca as 'Queen Bee' I mean I was going to say designated mean girl but tomato tomato though
to be fair we don't have any particular reason for Wednesday to dislike Bianca other than her
roommate saying 'oh she's the closest thing that Nevermore has to royalty' I think we're supposed
to dislike her because she's mean to Rowan and that offends Wednesday's sense of justice but
we haven't really seen her do anything else to this point possibly it's just Wednesday feels
the need to outdo the closest thing Nevermore has to royalty to cement her status I don't think that
Wednesday would take kindly to my characterization of this as her attempting to assert her dominance
"I definitely don't care about status which is why
I pick a fight with the highest status person in the school"
but I call it like I see it
"anyone else want to challenge me?" so the main difference between Nevermore and actual schools
or fencing clubs seems to be that Nevermore you're allowed to be a complete you know what
let me rephrase that there are no consequences for being rude the coach is right there why is
he letting her be so rude? look I know that Nevermore is a kooky spooky school for kooky
spooky types but most people don't respond well to contemptuous disdain trust me on
this Wednesday really trust me on this that doesn't mean that Bianca shouldn't act like
a jerk because you know teenagers but somebody should maybe pull her up on it possibly "anyone
else want to challenge me?" no because that's not how fencing clubs work no one is going to want to
play with you if they think you're a jerk I don't care how high your social status is no one enjoys
fencing people who think that they're better than everyone else. unless you're pretty sure that you
can beat the person who thinks that they're better than everyone else because I imagine
that would be very pettily satisfying which I think to be fair is what we're going for here
we can see that Bianca is a jerk but we also see that Wednesday is uber confident that she
can take her down a peg or two so I would say we begin and I promise we're going to begin soon but
they don't salute each other we have this moment where they put their masks on in a meaningful way
but they don't salute each other and the coach says nothing! is anyone going to enforce correct
etiquette here anyone no just me fine so in my neck of the woods fencing and longsword are on
the same night of the week so I had to choose and I chose longsword because it's very very fun, so
I haven't been fencing in a while but I looked it up and in an official competition if you refuse to
salute your opponent you can just be disqualified like that's how seriously they take it now I
understand that this is a school this isn't a tournament this isn't anything official but like
putting on your seatbelt when you get into the car you just salute you always salute don't you
and while I understand on a character level that they're contemptuous of each other you could have
turned them being forced to salute to each other into that character moment if neither of them do
it and then the coach has to remind them to do it and then they both do it extremely grudgingly then
I feel like that gives you a much better idea of how contemptuous they are of each other than them
just putting their masks on in a meaningful way but that might just be me although it does seem
to accurately characterize the coach as someone who doesn't seem to care but we'll get there
for this first section they don't really seem to expect you to understand what's going on
other than they fight and while there are a fair number of cuts they're quick but they're
not bewilderingly so. side note I'd like to take the opportunity to shout out the poor background
extras one of whom is advancing with his sword held vertically not attacking at all and the other
one is retreating while attacking not really the usual way of doing things but whatever. where was
I? mostly for this section we have some back and forth we focus on close-ups we have some
close-ups of the blades we have some close-ups of their feet of their faces and their masks and
we also focus a lot on the reactions of the other fencers wow look at these two doing the thing and
look how evenly matched they seem to be. Wednesday after being nearly pushed off the piste by Bianca
scores the first point by ducking under Bianca's head slash and then doing this. just stab her now
Wednesday! I love that and I know at least one person who really seems to enjoy riposting like
this and honestly I love it because it looks so dramatic but it mostly seems to work for them. I
also thought that you had to reset to the engarde lines after you scored a point in sabre but you
know what no one else seems to care about the rules so why should I and looking at it I think
they did this deliberately because the second Point has Wednesday driving Bianca almost back
to the other side of the piece and they wouldn't have had that much room if they started on the
engarde lines this point is shorter Wednesday is much more aggressive but she kind of overextends
herself and Bianca raps her very smartly on the head which also makes sense because Bianca
is significantly taller than Wednesday so good job. from a storytelling perspective Bianca is
overconfident and aggressive and loses the first point and then Wednesday is overly aggressive
and possibly overconfident and loses the second point but then for the final point "I would like
to invoke a military challenge" and the coach is like "it's your decision Bianca" okay what
the Jeff kind of school is this what the Jeff kind of Fencing Club is this sir where did you get your
coaching qualifications and have you ever heard of a RISK ASSESSMENT? sorry this is the reason that
I can't watch films like School of Rock anymore without cringing just a little bit because it's
a very charming movie but I keep going through it going Jack Black why has no one checked your ID
not one person? I mean the 2000s were a different time although I suppose Nevermore is basically
akin to Hogwarts so maybe if you lose an eye when you're fencing they can just fix that up
for you I don't know but when I cast my mind back to Hogwarts there were clearly rules in place and
teachers did enforce discipline generally speaking they weren't the same rules as a regular school
because Madam Pomfrey could fix anything up to but not including death but still rules were in place
but another point, heh point, about this is she says no tips does she mean remove the safety tip
because Sabres they don't have an extra safety tip or not usually and they don't remove any
tips before they just start fighting each other and sabre tips are already you know bent over
for safety anyway maybe when she says no tips she means no stabby stabby only slashy slashy
anyway the only things actually uncovered on their bodies are their faces because no masks and
they're off hands so that's gonna be tricky this isn't like Die Another Day where the swords are
sharp and it's first blood drawn from the Torso the only place that they can hit each other where
they will actually be able to draw blood is the face maybe the lower legs if you've got rubbish
socks on and you hit them quite hard I don't know it's not that you can't draw blood with the tip
of a blunt sabre it's just that they are designed not to be able to cut through your mask or gloves
or breeches or jacket or any of your other fencing gear that's why we stay safe from a storytelling
perspective this portion of the fight needs to look much more dramatic and dynamic than the
previous portions and it does though I will admit it's a little spinny for my taste mostly that's
because they're allowed to move around each other instead of back and forth in a straight line now
but it's also because they can get their feet involved and push their opponent's sword away
with their hands and all sorts of things that it is not okay to do in a normal fencing match and
generally speaking I like it you can definitely tell there has been a change of energy as it were
and because they're not wearing masks you can see the emotions on their faces at least when their
faces are in shot but it also has a bunch of moves which are a bit weird for what they're trying to
do because stabbing someone in the clothed area with your fencing blade is going to make them
uncomfortable but it doesn't necessarily get you any closer to your goal of slashing them across
the face so there are these times where they aim for each other's legs and I think yes that's going
to sting but I'm not sure how much is going to help you tactically speaking maybe they're
thinking the same thing I did that socks aren't very protective so if you hit them hard enough you
might be able to draw blood through the socks but to the Flight choreographer's Credit most
of the things they're aiming at are each other's faces which is precisely why this is so dangerous
which is precisely why I wonder why he is letting them do that sir you are the adult here these are
children control your class but anyway there's pushing and kicking and an aerial and oop ouch in
more ways than one tell me this were you expecting Wednesday to lose because I hadn't really thought
about it but I don't think I was but this being a series rather than a movie we need to set up that
Bianca is actual competition and so she needs to win at least some of the time otherwise she just
doesn't seem worth it. I'm very much enjoying the Wednesday Series so far though I'm only on episode
three and this is a very solid piece of visual storytelling and I like it but I just can't get
over the fact that the coach just stands there and lets them do this again I get that Nevermore is
a weirdo school for weirdo people and that's why Gomez and Morticia fitted in there but this guy is
apparently entirely apathetic to bullying right in front of his face and any concept of safeguarding
you don't have to be utterly Draconian though you might be draconic who even knows but you
do have to enforce boundaries. be a little bit more McGonagall is what I'm saying here. I feel
like he should not have been there for that final point, like something happened so he had to take
Rowan to the infirmary or something like that and he says nobody do anything till I come back
but then Wednesday issues her military challenge and then she and Bianca fight and then Wednesday
loses and then the coach comes back and is like Whiskey Tango Foxtrot I said no fighty fighty.
Unless this is a none too subtle hint that all of the teachers are actually just sadistic and evil
which as I said they might be Emily on episode three I hope you enjoyed this video which had to
come out on a Wednesday because Wednesday hence interrupting our current schedule but I will see
you tomorrow for whatever episode of the fantasy heroine series we are up to and I will see you for
another long video probably after Christmas and yes you absolutely can't get merch in my store
which says just stab me now and yes I'm very happy about that you can also get merch which says other
things I realize that this would be a dangerous thing to wear in some places see you soon