>> Greg: SAN FRANCISCO IS SO
FULL OF CRAP IT’S GIVING EVERY
FISH A DIRT NAP.
I KNOW.
HERE’S THE SCOOP ON SF’S LEADING
SPORT POOP.
HUMAN EXCREMENT, MY NICKNAME FOR
MY INTERN, IS ALSO APPARENTLY,
IS ALSO APPARENTLY FEEDING A
MAJOR ALLERGY GROWTH IN THE BAY
AREA.
BASICALLY THEY’RE CREATING A
FLOATING ISLAND OF POOP.
I KNOW, I KNOW, CHARLIE IT
SOUNDS AWESOME, BUT HOLD ON.
IT’S KILLING THOUSANDS OF FISH.
AND THAT’S BAD.
AT FIRST SCIENTISTS BLAMED
CLIMATE CHANGE FOR THE ALLERGY
THAT SHOWED UP IN JULY BUT NOW
THEY’RE POINTING THE FINGER AT
THE 85 MILLION GALLONS OF FECAL
MATTER BEING PUMPED DAILY INTO
THE BAY AREA AND THAT’S JUST
FROM NANCY PELOSI’S HOUSE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Greg: THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO
SAY ASS DIDN’T YOU?
BUT APPARENTLY SEWAGE TREATMENT
PLANTS ARE SO OLD AND INEPT,
THEY CAN’T HANDLE THE LOAD.
SOUNDS LIKE THE PRESIDENT.
BUT THE PROBLEM HAS GOTTEN SO
BAD TENS OF THOUSANDS OF FISH
ARE DYING AND GOING TO COST
CALIFORNIA $14 BILLION TO
UPGRADE THE SEWAGE SYSTEM.
WE CAUGHT UP WITH ONE OF THE
MAIN CULPRITS.
>> SO THE CITY HAS THIS ALLERGY
PROBLEM.
DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE?
>> I CAN’T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.
I’M JUST ONE SMALL COG IN THE
MASSIVE SAN FRAN [BLEEP]
MACHINE.
BUT I WANT TO SHOUT OUT MY
SPONSORS, STARBUCKS CA BOAT LAY
AND MAJOR PROPS TO BUFFALO WILD
WINGS.
>> SO NO PLANS TO CURB THIS?
>> NO SAN FRANCISCO WAS THE TIP
OF THE TURDBURG WE’RE TAKING
THIS ON THE ROAD.
THIS YEAR I HAVE STOPS TO UTAH
WE’RE DROPPING KIDS OFF RIGHT IN
THE SALT LAKE AND THE ST. LOUIS
ARCH AND WE’RE DEFINITELY
[BLEEP] IN THE ALAMO.
THEY’RE GOING TO REMEMBER IT
NOW.
>> ANYTHING ELSE?
>> WHAT CAN I SAY?
I’M FRANCHISING AND
MERCHANDISING SO Y’ALL BETTER BE SANITIZING.
DON’T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE.
>> Greg: TYRUS, YOU KNEW WE WERE
GOING TO DO THIS STORY.
>> Tyrus: THINK EVERYONE IN THIS
BUILDING KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO
DO THIS STORY.
>> Greg: WHEN I THOUGHT POOP
ISLAND, I WAS LIKE WE’RE IN
THIS.
>> Tyrus: YOU WERE IN KNEE DEEP.
>> Greg: I WAS IN YEAH.
ISN’T IT AMAZING HOW EVERYTHING
IN THE BAY AREA IS TURNING INTO
POOP.
LIKE IT’S ALL ABOUT POOP.
>> Tyrus: IT’S CALIFORNIA IN
GENERAL IS JUST LOADED.
AND, YOU KNOW, BUBONIC PLAGUE IS
BACK FROM THAT, THE ALLERGY
SUCCEEDS UP ALL THE OXYGEN IT
DOESN’T JUST KILL THE FISH IT
MAKES THE WATER TOXIC WHICH
EVENTUALLY ENDS BACK IN YOUR
HOMES SO OUR CHILDREN WILL HAVE
PROBLEMS WITH THEIR TEETH AND
PROBLEMS GROWING BECAUSE THE
WATER WILL BE SO TOCKS FEUD.
SO IT’S A HORRIBLE PROBLEM AND
AGAIN IT’S ONLY IN CALIFORNIA.
ANYWHERE ELSE THEY COULD
PROBABLY FIX SOMETHING WITH A
COUPLE MILLION DOLLARS.
WHY IS IT CALIFORNIA IT’S ALWAYS
$14 BILLION TO FIX ANYTHING AND
EVEN THEN THEY NEVER FIXED IT.
I USED TO GO TO THE LA ZOO WHEN
I WAS A KID.
IT’S STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
>> WELL, THEY HAVE TO HIRE ALL
THE DEI OFFICERS TO MAKE SURE
THE POOP IS SHOVELED IN AN
EQUITABLE WAY.
>> Greg: THAT IS TRUE.
COREY THIS IS THE WORLD’S LIKE
RICHEST ZIP CODE AND THEY CAN’T
HANDLE THEIR OWN POOP WHAT’S UP
>> Corey: IT DOESN’T SURPRISE ME
THAT MUCH.
I DO AVOID SAN FRANCISCO LIKE
THE BUBONIC PLAYING BECAUSE YOU
GO INTO THE STREETS AND THERE’S
EXCREMENT ALL OVER THE PLACE.
SO I THINK THEY’RE GOING TO
SOLVE THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR
BIG GOVERNMENT POLICIES AND
INCREASING TAXES BECAUSE THIS IS
ALREADY DRIVING PEOPLE AWAY.
THEY SAY THIS PROBLEM IS CAUSED
BY HIGH POPULATION DENSITY AND
PEOPLE ARE ALREADY LEAVING.
THE U.S. CENSUS BUREAU ALREADY
REPORTED FROM 2020 TO 2021 SAN
FRANCISCO WAS THE NUMBER ONE
MAJOR CITY WITH THE BIGGEST
POPULATION LOSS OVER THAT
PERIOD, SIX PERCENT LOSE.
>> Greg: AMAZING
>> Corey: KEEP DRIVING PEOPLE
AWAY IT WILL SOLVE ITSELF IN THE
LONG RUN.
>> Greg: I DISAGREE WITH YOU
THOUGH I THINK THE HOMELESS ARE
POOPING ON THE STREETS TO SAVE
THE FISH.
>> Charlie: FROM HAVING TO LIVE
ANY LONGER?
>> Greg: NO, THEY KNOW.
>> Charlie: PUT THEM OUT OF
THEIR MISERY.
>> Greg: THEY DON’T WANT TO GROW
THE ALLERGY BLOOM SO THEY’RE
POOPING ON THE STREETS.
YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING DID
YOU?
>> Charlie: NO, I DON’T THINK
ANYBODY SAW THAT COMING.
NO, IT’S AMAZING.
BUT YOU CAN’T DIVORCE IT FROM
THE POLITICS.
I MEAN THESE CITIES ARE THE
RESUME OF DEMOCRATS, EVERY ONE
OF THEM.
EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH TURNS TO
CAL CUT A THE IDEA OF DRINKING
WATER IN A CLOSED SEWAGE SYSTEM
IS A HALLMARK OF CIVILIZATION
AND ALL THESE DEMOCRAT-RUN
CITIES ARE ABANDONING BASIC
CIVILIZATION.
I THINK IT’S INTERESTING ONE
LITTLE ASPECT OF THIS IS AT A
TIME A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T TALK
ABOUT THIS BUT WE ALSO ARE
HAVING A WAR ON FERTILIZER IN
THIS COUNTRY AND IT’S GOING TO
CAUSE MASSIVE PROBLEMS THAT WE
CAN ONLY BEGIN TO IMAGINE RIGHT
NOW.
AND, I MEAN, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH TOO MUCH FERTILIZER WINDING
UP IN THE BAY AND FARMERS
LITERALLY CANNOT AFFORD
FERTILIZER TO GROW THEIR CROPS
IN THE REST OF THE COUNTRY.
AND --
>> Greg:.
>> Greg: A PIPELINE YOU’RE
SAYING.
YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT A
PIPELINEMENT A POOP PIPELINE.
>> NOW WE’RE TALKING.
>> Greg: CHARLIE THAT’S WHERE
YOU WERE GOING A POOP PIPELINE
FROM SAN FRAN TO THE FARMS.
>> Charlie: I THINK THERE’S
SOMETHING THERE.
>> Tyrus: YOU REALIZE YOU CAN’T
COME BACK YOU’RE BANNED.
>> Greg: IT SHOULD BE CALLED THE
GUT PIPELINE.
>> Charlie: THAT’S GREAT THE
GUTFELD PIPELINE IS GREAT.
>> Greg: GUT PUMPING OUT INTO
THE FARMS.
>> Tyrus: I REALLY LIKED THIS
JOB I DID.
>> Greg: EMILY THIS IS ALSO WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN YOU BLAME
EVERYTHING ON ONE CHANGE, THEY
BLAME EVERYTHING ON CLIMATE
CHANGE AND RACISM AND YOU NEVER
SOLVE PROBLEMS.
THIS COULD BE SOLVED IF SOMEBODY
SAID WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH OUR
SANITATION SYSTEM BUT INTO IT’S
CLIMATE CHANGE.
>> Emily: THIS BREAKS MY HEART.
MY GRANDPARENTS IMMIGRATEED FROM
SICILY TO SAN FRANCISCO AND NOW
IT LITERALLY IS A PIECE OF
[BLEEP].
THE REASON THAT IT WAS -- IT
USED TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
CITY IN THE WORLD RIGHT?
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING, SO
EXPENSIVE TO LIVE THERE.
THEY SHUT OUT AND PUSHED OUT A
LOT OF WORKING CLASS FAMILIES
BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN THE RICH
WANTED TO LIVE THERE AND TO ME
SUCH AN ANALOGY THE MARINA’S
ACTUALLY A LANDFILL.
THIS HE BUILT IT ON [BLEEP] TO
BEGIN WITH.
IT REMINDS ME OF THE MOVIE
SHALLOW HAL WHERE IT SHOWS THE
INSIDE OF YOU AND HERE THE
ACTUAL INSIDE, THEIR TERRIBLE
POLICIES, THEIR OVERSIMPLE FIX
THE REFUSAL TO USE COMMON SENSE,
THE POWER HUNGRY THE POWER GRAB
OF GAVIN NEWSOME AND THE FIVE
FAMILIES OF NANCY PELOSI AND
KAMALA AND EVERYONE THAT GREW UP
FROM THERE IN THE POLITICAL
SCENE THAT ACTUALLY WAS NEVER
SERVING WORKING CLASS AMERICANS,
NOW THE INSIDE IS SHOWING OUT
AND THE FISH ARE DYING AND IT’S
ALL FILLED WITH CRAP AND WE’RE
SUPPOSED TO ACCEPT IT.
NOTE THAT THE COST, BY THE WAY,
THAT GETS PASSED ON TO THE
TAXPAYERS.
>> Greg: THERE YOU GO.
>> Emily: YEAH.
>> Greg: LADY’S GOT A MOUTH ON
HER.
WE’RE GOING TO HAVE TO HAVE A
TALK LATER ABOUT YOUR DIRTY
MOUTH
>> COMING UP SHE WON GRAND SLAMS