- The six most important skills
that you can learn that will change the rest of your life
for the rest of your life.
Are you longing to live an abundant life?
If so, watch here, because I'm going to show you six hacks
that you can implement
that will help you enrich your life today and every day.
One of the most important skills that you can learn
and maintain to change your life
is to catch negative thoughts
and turn them into positive ones.
We just have to be aware of our thoughts
and start to flip them.
Here's an example.
My life is hell.
This is a disaster.
This commute is killing me.
My kid is making me lose my mind.
My partner's driving me crazy.
This job will be the death of me.
I'm dying under my paperwork.
I'm falling apart at the seams.
You see, none of these things are true,
however, if you keep saying things like hell,
nightmare, disaster, killing me, dying,
your words shape your reality
and eventually, you start to feel as if you are living
in constant torment,
because you're using very painful words.
So when you hear yourself saying something like,
"I've got a chronic headache,"
just go, "Actually, you know what?
It's not really chronic, is it?
I have a headache, it's mildly annoying,
maybe I'm dehydrated,
maybe I'm tired, but it's not chronic."
So you change, right, I do have a pain in my head.
I'm going to drink some water, close my eyes for 10 minutes,
take a little pill.
I'm going to be just fine.
Here's another one.
My kids are making me lose my mind.
Now, that isn't really true, is it?
Kids are challenging,
they're trying, but it comes with the territory
and someone in the world would mortgage their house
to have IVF to have a child like yours.
So switch that to my child is acting age appropriate,
this is what they do.
I'm lucky to have a child and in 10 years, when they've left,
I'm going to miss them terribly and wish they were still here
smearing peanut butter on the fridge
and leaving their socks and shoes all over the house.
My partner's making me lose my mind,
my partner's driving me crazy.
I'm going mad with how messy they are.
how disorganized they are, and then you think,
"You know what, it is a challenge having a messy partner,
but I love them. They love me.
Imagine if I had a fanatically tidy partner,
would that make me happy?"
Actually, I know someone who's got, which it's so annoying.
I can't put one thing out of place.
He moves everything.
I can never find anything.
The house is always perfect.
I can't even have a trash can on display,
it's got to be in a cupboard.
He's really annoying.
You think, "Wow, I thought I had a problem.
Yours sounds worse."
The commute is killing me.
Really, you have a car, you have money to put gas in it,
you're driving to work.
Maybe that's a challenge and it's certainly frustrating
and boring being in traffic, but it's not killing you.
Not having a car, not having money for gas,
not having a job to go to
or having anyone to drive to to see is much harder.
So look at your language.
Look at the words.
Your words shape your reality.
If your words are all negative and using words like torture,
hell, nightmare, disaster, will all end in tears.
Stop it.
One of my clients' favorite words was disaster
and she said to me one day,
"You know, I've just got a big job
for a cosmetic company, disaster."
Why is that a disaster?
Well, it's such pressure.
The next time I see her, I've got a lead in a movie,
it's a disaster.
Why, well, I've never had a lead in a movie.
I get on a plane and men hit at me, disaster.
I said, "Do you know, none of this is a disaster."
Her other word was torture.
It's torture to be on a plane and being hit on by a man.
I said, well, one day, when you're 80
that will never happen again.
You might even miss it, but it's not torture.
It's mildly annoying, it's slightly.
I mean, you can put on a baseball hat, put on glasses,
bury your head in a book.
You have ways of dealing with this, it's not torture.
It's not a disaster, it's not hell.
It's a challenge, a situation that you can deal with.
I promise you, changing your words will change your life.
Your words shape your reality.
Change your words. It's the fastest way to change your life.
Secondly, stop procrastinating.
You know what procrastination is?
It is nothing more than a fear of failure.
I'm really scared that when I write that paper,
it won't be any good.
I'm really scared that when I finish that proposal,
it won't work.
If I start this business, it will fail.
I'm so scared of failing and I'm so scared of rejection
that I procrastinate and procrastinate.
So I can say one day, well, you know what,
could've done that, should've done that,
but you see, I just never got it together.
That's actually less painful than saying I got it together
and it failed.
Failing to try is almost the same as trying to fail
and when you can think,
okay, so the procrastination
is really just a fear of being rejected.
Yes, and then you can tell yourself a second truth.
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody can reject you
without your permission
and if you decide to start a business and it doesn't work,
that will hurt, but at least go ahead,
gave it everything I've got,
it was such a terrible thing, it didn't work,
but that's not as bad as saying,
could've worked, but I lay on the couch, I didn't even try
and I'm going to beat myself up for the rest of my life,
Because I just wasted my life.
So don't procrastinate.
It's a fear of being rejected.
It's a fear of failing, but the only way you can fail
is in failing to try and you cannot be rejected
and even if you do something and it didn't work out,
it teaches you a lot.
You learn a lot.
And here's skill number three.
Learn to love yourself with confidence.
Give yourself permission to stop worrying
about what other people think about you.
The most important opinion is your opinion.
People go, "Hey, what does even loving yourself mean?"
I have no idea.
I hear it, love yourself.
Fall in love with yourself, well, what is that?
Well, I'm going to tell you.
There are three ways to know if you're good
at loving yourself.
The first way is, how do you talk to you?
Do you look at them and go, ugh, I look a mess,
I look terrible. Look at the state of me.
Are you down on yourself?
Do you say things like, I'm just a hot mess.
I'm just a loser.
I knew I'd mess up.
Everything I do falls apart.
I'm no good at this.
I don't understand IT.
I'm no good at people.
I can't talk to people.
I'm terrible when I'm the focus of attention.
You see how critical you are.
The key to loving yourself
is talking to yourself
like you would talk to your best friend.
Hey, I can learn how to speak to people.
The people I know like me.
I'm good at lots of things.
I don't have to be good at IT, I can pay someone for that
or learn, or hey, I'm not good at public speaking,
but I'm going to learn how to do it.
So to truly love yourself,
it starts with being kind to yourself.
Using kind words, using kind language,
speaking to yourself the way you would speak
to your very best friend.
You wouldn't say to your best friend,
well, of course, that guy dumped you; you're a loser.
You're a single parent, and you got cellulite over your legs.
I mean, of course, you'd say, look, you're an amazing person,
if he doesn't want you, he's an idiot.
You've got so much to offer and hey, you've got a kid,
you already have so much love in your life,
you can have more love.
You wake up with love.
You've got this beautiful child who is an asset to you
and anyone that you meet will be lucky
to have the two of you in their life.
So start to be your own best friend.
Be kind, be positive.
Do not criticize yourself.
Criticism withers your self-esteem
and praise builds it up.
The second way to know how
and if you're practicing self love
is how you're treating yourself.
Do you drink enough water?
Do you eat healthy food?
Most of the time, do you get enough sleep?
If you're staying up all night watching Netflix,
eating donuts and a packet of chips
instead of having dinner,
if you're not drinking enough water,
these simple things show that that's not love, that's abuse.
Eating rubbish food, drinking sodas
and staying up all night watching rubbish is not love.
You'll say, I love food,
but loving donuts is not love, it's abuse.
Drink water, even if you don't like it.
Prepare better food, even if you don't want to.
And think, you know what, it's 11 o'clock,
I've got to be up at seven,
I'm going to make myself go to bed.
Yes, I'm loving this show,
but loving myself means giving myself eight hours of sleep,
preferably before midnight,
not starting at three and sleeping until eight.
That is practicing self-love.
Hydrate, get more sleep, eat better.
It's more important to put good stuff in
than it is to take bad stuff out.
And the third way to practice self-love is this.
How do you let others treat you?
Do you lend people money?
Do you lend them your stuff?
Do you never ask them about,
are you always doing for others,
but never asking them to help you out?
You see, a relationship is about balance,
giving and receiving.
If you lend people your car
and they send it back with no gas,
if you lend them your clothes, they send them back stained,
if you lend them your money
and it's very difficult to get it back,
that's not self love.
And when you're with these people,
how much do you say sorry?
I'm so sorry I'm late.
I'm so sorry I'm such a flake.
I'm so sorry that I don't know how to work my computer.
I'm sorry I'm so needy.
Don't say sorry, say thank you.
Thank you so much for waiting.
Thank you so much for taking care of me today,
'cause I'm a bit sick.
Thank you so much for helping me understand IT,
you know it's not really my thing, thank you.
Skill number four.
Learn to be brave.
Fortune favors the brave, take risks.
Get out of your comfort zone.
Make what is familiar, lying on the couch,
only doing stuff I know, unfamiliar.
Make what is unknown, known,
make what is uncomfortable, comfortable.
Take risks, the only risk in life that you can fail at,
is not taking the risk.
Every risk you take teaches you something
and even if it doesn't work, you learned something.
So be more willing to take risk
and less and less risk averse.
Skill number five.
Be disciplined in your routines.
Wake up, exercise, eat better, be prepared,
have good food in your house so you don't live on junk.
Be organized at where you put stuff.
Keep notes on your phone,
not on bits of paper all over the house.
Leave early, so you get to places on time.
Prepare, read documents in advance.
Have your calender and look at it,
so you're calm, cool, collected, focused.
And skill number six.
Do not take no for an answer.
See yourself as a big red rubber ball
with a huge bounce back factor.
Most people who've made it have heard no many,
many, many times, but you know what?
They see it as a delay not a denial.
They don't hear no, they hear no for the moment.
No today, no, not right now.
No, exactly as it is.
J.K. Rowling heard no over and over and over again
for "Harry Potter", but she went back,
'cause when she heard no,
she'd hear no, we don't like it at the moment.
No, we are not taking on books about wizards this year.
No, it needs a bit of work.
No, we're not the right publisher,
but she always thought this is a delay, it's not a denial.
Bounce back from adversity.
Don't let no hold you down.
The most successful people have heard no
over and over again, but back they come
like a big rubber ball, and you can too.
So if this has inspired you to take action,
imagine what else is possible
to create a life that you love
and if you want to create a life that you love
where you have wealth, health, success, joy, and confidence,
please join my live 21-day abundance challenge
so you can step into a full life of abundance
and you can have abundance all the time.
Click the link here to join.
I cannot wait to see you there.
Thanks for tuning in.
Check out my next video here.
I see all my clients and they all say the same thing,
I'm waiting for motivation.
You know what, motivation doesn't go, here I am,
I'm motivation, I'm at your door
and I've come to motivate you.
You are firing new neurons, the mind.