Ian: Batman Vs. Superman was a masterpiece of a movie! Ian #2: SHUT UP!!!
Batman: How was your day, Robin? Robin: *sigh* God, it was really tough. So I parked in this area, and I got a ticket for it...
Batman: WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAD PARENTS! Robin: For the millionth time, Batman, my parents died in front of me, too! *true*
Batman: Well, at least you got to know them. I was just old enough for it to REALLY mess me up! *chair turn*
BATMAN'S A BITCH!
Batman: Robin, grab the remote. Robin: You're much closer to it, Batman. Batman: *bat-sigh*
Batman: But I got it last time, and I've been on my feet...
THIS WHOLE DAY!! Robin: Yeah? And what have you been do- Batman:*bat-mock* YeAh? AnD whatyoudoodpodo!! Robin: *confused* Batman: JUST GET THE DAMN REMOTE!!!
Batman: *bat-jingle* Gonna meet Rachel for brunch. *confused bat-gasp* Who shrunk my favorite sweater vest?!! JOKERRRR!!!
Batman: Huh?
Batman: What...what are you doing? Robin: I'm posting it on Instagram. Batman: No, you can't post that! Robin: Why? Batman: * valley bat-girl* Cuz, This mask makes my chin look hecka fat... #SelfConscious
Batman: I don't want to hear anymore *bat-mock* MEMEMEMEME! I just want to hear: Yes, Batman. I'll get the remote! Here!. Get me the DAMN REMOTE NOW!
Batman: *bat-snore* Justice...
Robin: Batman! Batman! The...The Bat-Signal just lit up! Gotham needs us! Batman: *bat-sigh* Just give me 5 more minutes, Robin!
Robin: But we have to go save Gotham!! Batman: I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING A GOOD DREAM!!! Catwoman and I WERE JUST ABOUT TO GET FRISKY!!! *BAT-GRUNT*
Batman: *bat jingle* My popcorn brings Harley Quinn to my cave... *hit* AH!!!
WHO MOVED THE FRICKING COFFEE TABLE RIGHT THERE!!! Robin: It's always been there, Batma- Batman: JOKERRR!!!
Batman: ROBIN!! YOU PUSHED ALL THE TOOTHPASTE TO THE BOTTOM!!! WERE YOU BORN IN A FRIGGIN' BARN?!!!
Batman: *bat-sigh* Take forever...
Batman: Forget it. I'm just gonna skip brushing my teeth and die of gingivitis! THANKS A LOT, ROBIN!!
Robin: Stop being lazy, Batman. Let's go...
Batman: No, Robin, I'm super sick. I think I might have the Zika or something. my throat is scratchy.
Batman: Look, you're just gonna have to make me some soup, and I'm gonna stay in bed...
Robin: Well, it's clearly just allergies, so let's go. Batman: Nuh uh! It's super red! Look...*opens bat-mouth*
Robin: Well, maybe it's because *gruff, low voice* you talk like this*normal voice* instead of talking in a normal vo- Batman: Throat cancer! Knew it
Batman: Confirmed *inaudible bat-speech*
Batman: My name is Robin, I'm a little bitch...
*bat-press...the button* Recorder: *high pitch* My name is Robin, I'm a little bitch...
Robin: That's not funny Batman. Batman: It's funny cause you're a bitch.
Batman: My name's Robin and... i'm poor...
Recorder: My name's Robin and i'm poor... Batman: Sounds just like you. This thing's cool. THANKS, AlFRED!
Batman: *speaking to...bat-self?* Sh*tty soup...
ROBIN! ROBIN!!
Robin: What? What?! Batman: Have you been using my Netflix account again?! Robin: It's not your account,
its the Justice League's! Why don't you just...get your own! You're a billionare!
Batman:Yeah, I'm a billionaire, but I didn't become one by spending all WILLY-NILLY!
Robin: *says quietly* Yeah, you just had to inherit it from your dead parents. Batman: What! Robin: What.
Batman: *bat-jingle* Bubble bath. Bubble bubble bubble bath. Take some bubbles in a bath and show the world you got'em. Bubble bath. Bubble bu- *shower* *bat-grunt*
*shower* *bat-grunt* JOKERRRR! *joker* *this is really annoying* *bat- sorry*
BATMAN'S A LITTLE BITCH!
Batman: Hey guys, thank you so much for watching. And I know you're gonna say that Batman doesn't talk like this anymore.
But F*CK BEN AFFLECK!! If you wann see bloopers from this video and...tHiS-
Batman Bonus Scene: Alfred, Alfred, do you call these summer colors? No! gray, gray, black, gray-
Batman: ...CLICK THE VIDEO ON THE LEFT! And if you wanna see the first episode of Batman's a Bitch, WHICH I'M TOTALLY NOT,
click the video on the right.
Batman's a Bitch: Who invented this deathtrap?!
JOKERRRRR!
Batman: And if you're watching this on a touchscreen Bat-phone, all the links are in the description box below... *bat-bye!* @2016 Smosh, L.L.C. All rights reserved.