Well, congratulations to you.
Oh, thank you.
I mean, that's amazing.
So you wrote this movie, which is based on your life.
If you haven't seen "The Big Sick," I recommend it.
It's your first screenplay.
And it's getting Oscar buzz, like I said.
The movie was sold at Sundance for $12 million.
And it went on to become a huge hit.
You hosted SNL for the first time.
And you are getting all kinds of nominations.
And I mean, this must feel amazing to do something
like this.
It is.
I want to clarify, those $12 million didn't go to us.
We didn't really see very much of it.
No?
But everybody thinks that, you know,
they want us to pay for stuff, and we can't quite do it.
So if you have something from my room, I would take that.
There they are.
Wow, that was very inspiring, guys.
Now I'm here just--
I shouldn't have to follow them.
They're amazing.
Why am I--
Yeah, you're doing all right too, though.
I mean, that's amazing to write a screenplay,
and your first screenplay to do this--
It's been-- this year has been, last year, personally,
a personal triumph and a global disaster, I think.
Yeah, it's been amazing.
My wife and I, we wrote this movie together.
We'd never written a movie.
We had no idea if anybody would ever watch it or anything.
And then it's done really well.
So it's been really exciting.
We've been--
Because the story is--
well, we'll get to that in the second segment
because I want to talk about other things.
But it's an interesting life that you've both had
and the way you met.
Now, your wife, do you talk about her in stand-up?
I do a little bit.
But you know, she helps me with my stand-up too.
So a lot of the stuff gets sanded down
a little bit in the rewrite.
But there's some stuff like--
oh, this happened recently.
I was sleeping.
And at 4:00 in the morning, she woke me up, and she's like,
do you smell that?
And I go, I smell something.
So I go, yeah, I do smell something.
And she goes, what do you think it is?
And I go, I don't know.
And she goes, I think it's trouble.
And before I could say anything, she's got her laptop open,
and she's googling smells because there's
no Shazam for smells.
So what she finds is it's probably, in a message board,
she finds what it probably is.
Probably, it's just probably just a wire on fire in one
of the walls.
And tonight, you're all going to perish.
So I'm like, let's take care of it in the morning.
She's already calling 911.
And as she talking them, I say, please
don't say the phrase "wire on fire" because it rhymes,
and it's going to make us look really stupid.
So she's like, it's probably not a big deal.
There's this smell, and where it probably is in the walls,
it's probably a wire ablaze.
And I'm like, tell them not to send fire trucks because it's
nothing.
And she goes, don't send fire trucks.
Four fire trucks show up 30 seconds later.
And then she looks at me and she goes, not it,
which is what we do when we order food to our house.
But if you call 911, you got to get the door.
We hadn't established that.
So now I have to put pants on.
This whole story, no pants, but a full tuxedo top,
that way, I'm ready for any kind of dream.
Sure.
Good idea.
Because I'm ready for a party or just home time.
So I go, I open the door, and there's three tall firemen.
There are men.
They're taller than me in every way,
physically and spiritually.
Because I'm never with men.
I'm like, I hang out with stand-up comedians.
It's whatever this is, it's more of this.
And I kind of want to yell to Emily, Emily, they're real men.
There's men outside our home.
It's exciting.
And they go, did you call about the smell?
And I'm like, yeah.
They said, you mean the skunk?
And I was like, oh!
That is what that is.
And then there's this awkward moment where I have to be like,
do you guys want to come inside?
And they're like, no, we're men.
We have to go fight fires.
Oh my god.
So you have never smelled a skunk before, obviously.
Ellen, I had.
But 4:00 in the morning, skunk smell different.
I see.