(gentle music)
- [Max] Hey babe, where are we going?
- Paris.
- [Max] Are you excited?
- [Yos] Mm.
- I'll miss you, Brutus. See you soon.
Daddy's gonna be back really soon.
(blowing kisses)
- We're about to embark on the greatest adventure
of our life.
- [Max] I thought that was our wedding.
- How is a wedding an adventure?
I feel like this is the first page
to the novel that is my life.
- I hope we make it out alive.
- Our book is called Call Me by Your,
"Call Me by Your Bottom".
- Yos. I'm so excited. Our first travel together.
- Being at the airport is so fun, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm. - There's so much stuff to do.
- I mean, especially that we spent two hour
at lounge drinking.
I'm a bit tipsy. I wanna do something funny.
Wanna do something fun?
Whee.
Whoa.
Whee.
(Yos laughs)
- Look, we even matched our luggage to our backpack.
That's Max's. Mine's beige vibes.
And this is the backpack that's in "Call Me by Your Name",
and we're taking it to Italy.
- We just board the plane.
- The flight is gonna be about six hours long,
which really is not that bad if you think about it.
We're gonna be there at nine in the morning,
which is 3:00 AM our time,
which is usually the time that we go to bed so.
- I might just sleep the whole thing.
You can lay on me. Shoulders good for you.
Look, I'm all ready. I brought my neck pillow.
- Oh, it's big.
- Hm? That's what she said.
(child crying)
(white noise humming)
- This tastes so good when you're up in the air,
but when you're just at home, it tastes like plastic.
- Taste like- - Aah!
♪ Don't wait for me, honey ♪
♪ Don't wait ♪
♪ The sun almost fading ♪
♪ You're awake ♪
Hey, babe, we made it to France.
♪ And I know exactly what I'm looking for ♪
(footsteps shuffling)
It's here.
So, babe, I'm taking you
to a special reservation that I made.
Apparently, it's really cute inside.
It's called Hotel Particulier so come with me.
Are you excited? I'm so hungry.
(cutlery clinking)
Sante. Hmm.
(fabric flapping)
- For you.
(objects clattering)
(cutlery clinking)
This is lamb.
(cutlery clinking)
Is it good? Yum.
(alarm ringing)
(fabric rustling)
What time is it?
- Six. 6:00 AM.
- Ew.
Stay in bed.
- [Yos] It's seven in the morning, and it's still so dark.
- Mm-hmm. Can't even see the sunrise yet.
- This is what it looks like out the window. Very Parisian.
Yesterday was a shit-show, by the way.
We landed at 10 in the morning.
We tried to check-in the hotel, but our room wasn't ready
so then Max had the bright idea
to take us to a really fancy restaurant
while I was like oily and gross.
- You were not. You were pretty.
- I literally was like half asleep eating my lunch.
- We were so jet lag, that's why,
but now we're fresh and awake at seven in the morning.
- Mm-hmm. We're staying at this hotel called Hotel Sookie.
Super cute. The room is really tiny.
We were looking for like a boutique hotel
that's cheap but tasteful.
And I think we got it like this room is so cute, right?
We're in La Marais.
- Le Marais.
- Le Marais which is a gay area.
It's called the swamp.
- So it's very much fitting to our gay needs.
We're the first ones here
and we've never been the first one anywhere
so this is so fucking cool.
Even the staff isn't here yet so.
Look, a french bus.
French bus. Sick. Parisian coffee.
It's bitter, but it's good 'cause we're in Paris.
I have a different taste bud here in Paris.
- Good coffee in the morning
so that we get energy to go explore everything.
- Yo, every corner of Paris is so beautiful.
I haven't seen one area where I'm like, "Wow, it's so ugly."
Everywhere is beautiful.
It's like jumping into a magazine.
I feel like I'm living in a movie right now, actually.
Paris, you're pretty.
- It's high to the top.
Get on, babe. I know. (laughs)
Broom broom. (laughs)
(horn honking)
(Max laughs)
(horn honking)
- Should we move here? One of these beautiful condos?
- [Max] Right? One day when we retire.
- We're gonna live in Paris.
- Yos, in Paris. How does that sound?
It's a new Netflix special.
- Max and Yos in Paris.
Where are we off to?
- La Maison Rose, the pink house.
(gentle music)
- Oh no. The scooters. It's broken.
(Max laughs) - You're lame.
(gentle music)
- We went to a French grocery store
'cause I wanna try these snacks.
- [Max] French snack, how is it?
- It's so good.
- [Max] Can I have one? Ahhh. Hmm.
Kinda reminds me of something I had before.
- Lulu. (both laugh)
- [Max] So this place was called Au Lapin Agile.
This was a cabaret, and apparently,
Picasso used to go there a lot.
So you see at the back over there?
This place is from the movie "Amelie"
and you can see her also over there.
She was working here in the movie.
It's an old French movie.
- [Yos] The question is, why are you drinking beer
at 11 in the morning?
- Well, it might be 11 here,
but it's four o'clock somewhere.
Cheers.
- I feel like this place is too fancy for us.
- [Max] No, it's not. You deserve it.
- This is like one of those place
where you get imposter syndrome,
you know what I mean?
- Hmm, so good. Oh my god, it's so good.
How's yours?
Hey babe, look where we are.
Are you ready to go see the Mona Lisa?
Let's go and find out how she smiles, really.
- Oh my god, it's my first time at the Met.
- [Max] At the what?
- [Yos] At the Met. At the Louvre. (both laugh)
- What's over there? - Look at that pyramid.
It's the pyramid right there.
Whoa, this is so pretty.
Is that the Arc de Triomphe?
- No, is it? - Oh, is it?
You know what?
The most important thing is that it looks like a thing.
- [Max] Okay, let's go see the thing.
- Where is the entrance?
- [Max] I guess it's in the middle?
- The entrance is right here, actually.
- [Max] Yeah?
- The entrance is right here.
- [Max] Right there?
♪ I live ♪
I feel that I keep repeating the same thing over and over.
Paris is beautiful.
- Very, very beautiful.
- [Max] You are beautiful.
♪ Peace of mind ♪
Wanna tell them what happened?
- I wasn't allowed in the museum 'cause I was gay
so they told me that I had to drink my latte outside
and I have to leave my queerness behind.
She was like, "You look like a fem Asian bottom.
You're not allowed to enter here with a latte."
So I have to finish it.
- [Max] No, Yos, she just told you,
"The coffee is not allowed inside, go drink it."
- No, she literally said, "Go away, you twink."
(Max laughs) - Sure.
- I can't believe I'm in Paris.
I can't believe they let a twink into Paris.
- [Max] I thought there's a lot of twink in Paris.
- I think I'm the first twink in Paris.
- [Max] You're delusional, Yos.
Drink you latte, you twink.
- Oh, Timothee Chalamet. He's right there.
- [Max] Where?
- Right there. It's Timothee right there.
- Hi guys.
- Look, we're together now.
- I totally thought my hair looked like shit,
but then I just saw myself in the mirror,
and I'm like, "Whoa, it actually looks pretty good."
Something about Paris, I guess. I'm in Paris.
I'm the only twink in Paris, did you know that?
- [Max] You said that earlier.
- I know, but I just wanna remind everyone.
(gentle music)
(crowd chattering)
Holy shit balls.
That is like the prettiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
- [Max] You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen
in my life.
- [Yos] Eh-eh. (Max laughs)
Are you gagging?
- Look, look. It's us having sex.
- [Max] What?
- It's the Mona Lisa.
- [Max] It's smaller than I thought.
- Oh my God. It's actually pronounced Muna Leisa.
It's not.
So there are theories that the lady in the painting
is actually a gay man who was da Vinci's lover.
I'm gonna go with that theory.
It's not him. I thought that was Timothee Chalamet.
It's not him.
I was gonna go and say hi 'cause we're old friends,
- You need glasses. - but it's not him.
- This place is humongous.
- Humongous.
- Humongous. I'm getting so tired of walking. My feet hurt.
- Well, at least we saw Ms. Lisa from Blackpink.
I mean Mona Lisa from Blackpink.
I mean Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci.
Okay, hear me out, but should I make it a mission
to film all the twinks that I see in Paris
just so we know what they look like?
And then I can give you guys tips and tricks
on how to hunt one and how to get them
to introduce you their mom and dad
so you can become Parisian.
Tip number one is bring lots of gummy worms
'cause that's what they like to eat.
That's all the tip I have for now, but I'll figure it out.
When I figure out more, I'll tell you.
- Look, babe, it's the Venus de Milo.
She can't give us a hug. She has no arms.
- You're so mean.
- I can give you a hug 'cause I have arms. (cooing)
(Max laughs)
Hey Venus, high-five.
Hey babe, look, carnival.
Babe, you wanna go sit on Santa's lap?
- I already have my own Santa.
- [Max] Should we ride a carousel together? It's a date.
- I legitimately feel
like we're in a Christmas rom-com right now.
- Maybe it's a murder mystery.
- No, it's rom-com.
- Is it like a Christmas scary movie
where the bad Santa over there is gonna kill us all?
Oh, you've been naughty this year, boy, ho, ho, ho.
Yes, you've been a hoe, hoe, hoe.
- I have been a hoe. (Max laughs)
So we can see the Eiffel tower from here.
- Mm-hmm.
- But we're actually quite far from the tower,
but it seems like we're close.
- Paris, je t'aime.
- Like, I don't know what this is,
but it looks like a thing.
I still can't believe we're in Paris. We're in Paris.
It feels like a dream. Like it doesn't feel real right now.
- [Max] Mm-hmm.
- Yow.
- Look at that. We made it to the Arc de Triomphe.
- This is our final stop for the night.
- We're so tired. We walked so much today.
My feet hurt like hell, but it was worth it.
So if you had to summarize Paris in one word,
what would it be?
- Insanely beautiful in one word.
- I cannot just summarize it in one word.
- I can't.
- For me would be Paris, je t'aime.
- I now understand why people call Paris the city of love
because just imagine going on a date with somebody here,
I would just fall in love in one day.
- Excuse me, we're already-
- I'm married.
- Mm-hmm, that's better.
And next stop tomorrow is Milan, Italy. Are you excited?
- [Yos] Yeah. We're gonna see you guys in Milan.
- Bye, babes.
(gentle piano music)