It's like a game show, but yet you win nothing.
What would your signature fragrance be called?
Boxers or Briefs.
I should shower more.
Naked Barbecue.
Come on, too easy.
You're going to stick with it.
Too many things happen, and then nothing happens,
you know what I mean?
It's too many ideas and then, boop, flatline.
I got nothing for the second take.
Really?
Yeah.
I think you do.
Buenos noches.
It's the same.
It's the same?
No.
Does that mean nice to meet you?
Sorry.
Second take was clearly not good.
Sorry, Ellen.
What do you sleep in?
Nothing.
Me too.
Covers.
I don't wear no clothes.
I've got to let this breathe.
Yeah, sure.
I sleep in a Calvin Klein longer pant because of my--
I call them shants because I don't have calves,
so it goes all the way down to my ankle.
It shows just a little bit of ankle, so Calvin Klein shants.
A pair of shorts.
Was that correct?
We're going to have to see proof.
Like workout shorts or something?
Workout shorts, unless something happens, and then I--
And then you take them off?
I always keep my socks on.
Let's put it that way.
That's for real.
Boxers or briefs?
I guess briefs.
What do you sleep in at night?
Those briefs.
T-shirt.
Really?
Yeah.
Nothing.
What does A-rod wear to bed?
Underwear.
You guys.
Let's get quizzical.
I wear usually just boxers and a shirt.
That's not that funny.
But I do it so in case I have to leave the house.
What kind of shirt?
Like a button down?
Like a button down, yeah, like a tie and a shirt,
clip on because in case I have to run.
Ellen underwear.
Yep, that's right.
Underwear.
Nothing.
Pajamas unless the kids are away on sleepaway.
And then it's naked?
Full on.
So you keep things on in case they crawl into bed?
Yes.
Heels.
That is so not true.
I love the idea of it, though.
I've already told you, pajamas.
But you answered first and then hit that.
What's the most surprising thing, cupcake,
that you did to make money before you were famous?
Legal?
Is that what we're talking, legal stuff?
No, just surprising.
Surprising.
I used to sell dime bags.
I'm sorry.
This is very--
You're going to break the entire thing.
I'm so sorry.
We don't have that kind of budget.
I didn't know my own strength.
You sold dime bags?
Uh-huh.
Little bags that have dimes in them.
It's helpful because a lot of times people are driving cars
and they want to park a car and they don't have--
Dimes.
They don't have dimes.
And you need dimes to put in the meter.
So I would sell them to them.
Absolutely.
I cut hair in the ninth grade and made $10 a haircut.
Yeah.
I sold vacuum cleaners.
I used to open up for drag queens in North Carolina
by dancing.
Really?
Where?
North Carolina.
In a club?
College, college.
You were the precursor to the drag queens?
I was.
I was, yes.
That's fantastic.