You can hear your heart pounding as soon as you step into the prison. You’re searched to
make sure you’re not carrying any contraband, and led down the hall. As you make your way to
the Warden’s office, you can hear the inmates in cells all around you yelling “New Fish!”.
This is a tough place, and it’s going to take a tough person to survive. You’re just glad you’re
not going to be on that side of the cells - it’s your first day as a new prison guard.
The warden greets you, and you get your official uniform and service gear, and now it’s time for
orientation. They take you through the rules of the prison, including how to stay safe,
but then an interesting slide comes up. “These are the things you should never say in prison”.
You didn’t realize it, but prisons have a language all their own, and saying the
wrong word - whether you’re prisoner or guard - could have serious consequences.
Prisons are a dangerous place, and it’s not common for inmates to target each other.
Outside of Supermax prisons, inmates will have free exercise time in the yard,
and many prisons have communal mealtimes. That lets inmates who heard the wrong thing from
another inmate take their revenge when the guards are distracted. And the guards aren’t
safe either - it’s not uncommon for guards to get attacked by inmates either in an escape attempt,
or a gang initiation. You can feel yourself start sweating under the collar of your new uniform.
A prison guard has to keep their eyes open, but keeping their ears open is just as important.
If you hear any of these words, you’ll need to report them immediately to the higher authorities.
It starts with the obvious ones - any talk of weapons in the prison is strongly prohibited.
Guns aren’t going to be easy to sneak in, but if an inmate talks about getting their hands on a
guard’s gun, that’s definitely a trip to solitary. More commonly, inmates fashion their own weapons
by sharpening blunt objects into makeshift knives. Any talk of knives, shivs, or other weapons is
likely to get an inmate’s cell tossed and searched at the minimum, and a trip to the hole at worst.
Also trouble? Any talk of non-weapon contraband. There’s usually a thriving black market in
prisons, and inmates want to get their hands on drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. It’s not strictly
prohibited - after all, what are inmates going to do with their time but sit around and talk about
the things they miss? - but if a guard overhears it, that inmate is likely to get a visit for
a random search of their quarters to make sure they’re not smuggling anything. And if they are?
You guessed it - say goodbye to that nice, cozy cell and hello to much less welcoming quarters.
But no words are going to turn a prison upside down like these two - “Riot” and
“Escape”. These are a prison guard’s worst nightmare, as they could go hand in hand
and lead to countless dangerous criminals on the loose. The worst prison riots have
led to hostage situations and fatalities, and prison escapes have led to state-wide manhunts.
If prison guards hear talk of either of those things, it won’t just be the inmate who says
it who’s in trouble. Better safe than sorry, and it’s common for the entire prison to go
into lockdown until everyone can be searched and interrogated. That means no exercise time,
no privileges in the common room, meals served in the cell - and lots of overtime for the
guards. But those aren’t the only dangerous words you’ve got to look out for in prison.
Few things throw a prison into chaos faster than a gang war,
and every prison will have several rival gangs. Well, maybe not every prison - Club Fed probably
doesn’t have inside traders and real estate crooks jockeying for turf. But you’re going to need to
keep an eye out for any trouble between the gangs, and that starts with knowing their names. Gangs
tend to break up into white, black, and latino prisoners, each with their own affiliations.
White identity gangs you need to watch out for include the Aryan Brotherhood,
Aryan Circle - or really, anything with the word “Aryan” in it. Prepare for trouble if you hear
that word tossed around. The black gangs most common in prison include the Bloods,
the Crips, and the “Rollin’” groups. La Eme, Texas Syndicate, and Nuestra Familia are the
most common Latin gangs. You can’t break up every gang in the prison,
but keeping them apart is the best way to prevent fights in the yard every day. But it’s not
always going to be easy to tell when they’re talking about gang wars - or anything else.
Prisoners are smart, and they learned to outwit the guards. That’s why you’re not just
going to have to look out for those words - you’re going to have to learn a whole new language.
Welcome to the world of prison slang, where inmates create a whole new set of words to refer
to common, forbidden things that are more likely to slip under the radar of the guards. But this
isn’t something new - it dates back to Charles Dickens’ time, when it was called “Thieves’ Cant”.
Some terms from prison slang became so popular thanks to TV coverage of the corrections industry
that they worked their way into everyday language. Everyone knows what you’re talking
about when you call your coworker a “narc” for telling the boss you were back late from break.
But to stay on top of trouble as a guard, you’ll need to know how to decode this slang
and stop problems before they arise. The good news is, the Warden got to where he is after
years of work as a corrections officer, and he knows all the lingo.
If you hear someone asking where the “Bagman” is, because they need a “Bang”,
better get ready to search their cell. That’s someone looking for the
local prison yard drug dealer, because they need an injectable shot of drugs.
Is someone talking about “Taking Flight”? That means they’re getting ready to start
a fight. And if they talk about “The Wall”, that’s not necessarily an actual wall. It’s
the place in the prison where gangs deal out punishment to those who cross them.
Are some guys talking about “icing” a “Chester” or “Chomo”? That means a new
inmate is there for child molestation, and they’re plotting to kill them.
Prisons have their own hierarchy, and even the toughest, meanest killers in the prison
hate anyone who’s there for hurting a child - so you’d better be prepared to keep them separate.
“Hooch” may be the name of a loveable crime-fighting dog on the outside,
but on the inside it could make you sick as a dog. Inmates are desperate to get drunk,
so they resort to making their own “toilet wine” out of sugar, fruit or juice,
and yeast, and letting it ferment. This is a popular item on the prison black market,
so if you hear an inmate drop that word, you’re probably on the trail of a supplier of contraband.
No one wants to go to solitary - usually - but if you hear an inmate talking about “checking in”,
they might be the exception. They probably have a target on their back from owing a
debt or making another inmate angry, and they’re going to get themselves
sent to the hole deliberately until the heat lies down. Saying that in prison
can get many people coming after you - and also alert the guards to a coming attack.
There are a lot of things the inmates can say to wind up in major trouble - but what about
the guards? You and your fellow guards have a lot of authority,
and you know to avoid saying these words too, because you can cause a riot just as easily as
the prisoners. But you’re going to spend a lot of time with the inmates, both supervising large
groups and escorting them one on one around the prison. What do you need to watch out for?
Most of the prisoners are going to get out, and while most of them want to get back to
normal life, there are some who aren’t going to leave crime behind. That’s why the most important
thing you should never say in prison as a guard is anything too personal. Don’t tell even the nicest
inmate about where you live or other identifying details. There are a lot of loose lips in prison,
and what you tell that nice embezzler could wind up being told to Stabby Joe Monroe,
who’s had it in for you ever since you sent him to solitary on Sloppy Joe day.
It’s important to maintain a healthy, professional distance from your charges,
and that means not offering them any incentives for good behavior that aren’t approved by the
prison. Many guards have gotten in trouble for helping well-behaved inmates get contraband,
and if caught, the best case scenario is a quick firing and a blacklisting from the industry.
The worst-case scenario? Ask former Clinton Correctional Facility guard Joyce Mitchell,
who got into a relationship with two murderers at the prison, Richard Matt and David Sweat. She
was convinced to help them escape, leading to a massive manhunt - and after she was caught,
got a very different look at the prison system for a few years.
The guards are always on alert for any signs of trouble - not just from the inmates,
but from their fellow guards. The Warden tells you it’s fine to talk to the inmates,
even socialize a little with them while you’re supervising them in the common area - just don’t
blur those lines. Any sign of impropriety or secret dealings between a guard and inmate
can be dangerous - not just for the guard, but for an inmate if other inmates think they’re
giving information. After all, there’s no one in more danger in a prison than a rat.
It’s time to begin your first day of patrol, and you know you’ve got to keep your ears open
and your mouth under control. In prison, one word can mean the difference between order and chaos.
For more on just how crazy things can get in prison, check out “50 Insane
Facts About Prison You Wouldn’t Believe”. Or for what happens when things go south,
why not watch “This Is What ACTUALLY Happens during Prison Lockdown”.