(upbeat music) (saw buzzing)
- Hi, sir, I bought all these materials
to build a shed a couple of years ago.
- I think if it's been a few years you can't return it, sir.
- Oh, no, no I'm not trying to return it
I just need somewhere to store it all until I can actually
get around to builing the shed.
- Well, we sell some pretty sheds
starting at $200 to store your shed.
- $200? That's insane!
I could build my own shed for that amount.
Okay, you know what?
Just point me to the materials
to build one of those.
- That's gonna be aisle 60, sir.
If you hit 61, you have gone too far.
- Okay, could you help me out?
- I can't.
(sighs)
- Okay.
(wood bangs)
- Loud.
- I ... how do you?
How does this cart even work?
There's six wheels
but you can't frickin'.
Okay, I'm gonna try backing up.
Beep! Beep!
- [Woman] Every Home Depot ever.
(upbeat music)
(sniffle)
- Babe, these plants are really
messing with my allergies.
Can we go?
(sneezing)
- Yeah, let's go inside.
- Okay.
(upbeast music)
(upbeat music)
- Oh, crap.
Sorry, babe, the sawdust,
it's messing with my allergies.
(sneezing)
Oh.
- These are sturdy. I like these.
These are good.
Wait, are you allergic to patio furniture?
- It just reminds me of springtime.
- Just thinking about pollen
gives you an allergic reaction?
- No, babe, I'm not allergic,
I'm sad, okay?
My Uncle Jeff died in the spring.
(sad music)
- I'm so sorry.
(sneezing)
- God!
Oh my god, maybe I am allergic.
What are these seats made out of?
- Pollen,
sawdust,
allergen dense polyester, now with even denser allergens.
- Yeah, that's it.
That'll do it.
- [Man] You said we were
going to Toys'R'Us.
- Oh, excuse me.
Do you know where the zip ties are?
- I don't think we sell zippers, sir.
- No, not zippers, zip ties.
- I don't think we sell neck ties either, sir.
- Awesome. Hey, excuse me?
Where can I find the ... wait.
Wait!
Come back!
I have a question!
Wait, sir.
I just have a question.
I just have a question, sir.
Sir!
I just ... zip ties.
I just need ... it's literally
it's literally your job, sir, please.
(comedic music)
Hey!
(comedic music)
Sir, this is taking up
way more energy than if
you just help me.
- There's too many customers out there.
- Shouldn't we be worried
that they're gonna find us in here?
- Oh, no. Nobody comes in the shed area.
They all think they can build their own.
- Shh!
(footsteps)
- [Shane] Sir!
(sighs)
- Wanna join?
- Yeah, what are you doing there?
A little scarf action? - You take one,
I take one.
No, this is gonna be a crop top.
- Crop top!
- Oh, that's cute!
- [Woman] Hi, where's your section
where I can build a better personality?
(sighs)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
What color is that?
- Daylight.
- No, daylight.
No, living in constant daylight
is a form of torture.
We can't do that.
- Okay, then you pick one.
- Fine.
Hmm, bright white or soft light?
(sighs)
On one hand brightness
is energizing, uplifting.
However, it can also be harsh and overwhelming.
On the other hand, soft white
can be cozy and warm.
However, it can also be dull and depressing.
God, what's bright enough
without being too sterile?
- I don't know.
Bright white?
- All right, bright white it is.
However, brightness would
highlight the imperfections of our home.
However,
maybe we want to see its flaws so we know to fix them.
(jazz music)
Man, art school has made my life torture.
- [Man] Ooh, some plants I'm
gonna immediately kill.
(smooth music)
♪ I've been waiting ♪
♪ patiently for you ♪
♪ Sitting in a railroad station ♪
♪ waiting, ooh ♪
♪ Every little thing you do ♪
♪ Every little word you say ♪
♪ makes me wanna come with you ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ You give me goosebumps ♪
♪ Oo, oo, oo ♪
♪ You give me goosebumps and butterflies ♪
♪ Oo, oo, oo ♪
♪ You give me goosebumps ♪
♪ Oo, oo, oo ♪
♪ You give me goosebumps and butterflies ♪
♪ Oo, oo, oo ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oo, ah, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oo, ah ♪
- Don't get me!
(gasps)
- Hey! (smooth music)
(smooth music)
- I hate it.
- Thank God. Me too.
- Back to Home Depot?
- Yeah, I'll restart
that cute little Indie music.
- Okay.
- Boop!
(smooth music)
[Woman] I once lost my mom in a Home Depot,
and I cried for 20 minutes.
That was three months ago.
(peaceful music)
(sighs)
- Hmm.
- [Man] Want to create a living room
that feels like you actaully live in it?
(upbeat music)
- Yeah!
- [Man] You can do it yourself.
You're in charge.
And it's time to get things done.
You've got this big guy.
You're the top dog.
Numero uno.
- Yes, it goes like that.
Yeah!
Just like...
Yes!
- [Man] And the Home Depot
is your numero dos.
(sighs)
(laughs)
- Oh, ew.
Just gonna ...
(mumbles)
Ah, oh!
(crying)
Why is this so hard?
- [Man] Honey, get to the car,
I thought the toilets were usable.
(beep)
(gagging)
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
- I thought you were coming for me.
- Your turn. (sneezing)
(laughs)
- No, no.
(beep)
Yeah, that's a lot.
- I'm grieving the seasons.
- I am immune to all allergies I guess.
I am.
- [Man] Cut!
(laughs)
(sighs)
- I just farted
- [Man] Cut!
(all laugh)
(beep)
- Scene 11, take one. Common mark.
(Snap)
(dramatic inhale)
- Jackie!
- What if it just kept falling through floor
and then layer and layer and layer of earth?
You'd feel so embarrassed. - The way you'd just feel the
heat of the Earth's core.
- The mantle just broken.
(beep)
- I didn't mean to!
(laughing)
- I did!
- Ooh!
- You can't, okay, two well once was enough.
You can't do that again. - [Man] Cut!
- Hey! You so funny!
- Oopsie!
- Oopsie.
- Oopsie! - [Man] Cut!
(Beep)
- Yeah.
- Lets try that again. (laughs)
(beep)
- (comedic whining noises)
- Oooh
(Yawns) - [Man] Cut
(beep)
- [Man] Let's be really gross on this one.
- Okay.
(both gag)
Okay.
(Beep)
- That's a very polite color.
- Hehehe! - Just like you are!
That's what drew me to you, you're so polite.
- Let's fill our room with this.
- Like, like fill it up, like, uh water level so
Like is it just rising with - Like just swimming in paint
paint - Just swallow it
(gurgling noises)
(beep)
- Sir what are you doing?
- I've gotta take down this gym for team Mystic
because its right now its team Instinct and I--
- Oh, I'm team Instinct all the way, so.
(beep)
- Excuse me, coming through.
- Don't talk to the other customers please, sir.
- [Man] God!
(beep)
(door rattles)
- Oh, whoa no! Sorry.
(all laugh)
- You exposin' us!
- God!
(beep)
(all sigh)
- So down by the banks?
- Yeah. Let's do it. - Down by the banks.
♪ Down by the banks where they hanky panky-- ♪
- We went through this - This is really hard
last time!
- What? I don't - Its so
remember things! I-- - easy!
(beep)
- Well, you've made it to the end of a video about
Home Depot, and if you're relationship is anything like
ours, it survived with flying colors.
(both laugh)
- You're so funny with - It's so funny!
he way you laugh so - Thank you!
Aggressively and loud.
- You know what else is so funny and aggressive and loud?
This other video - Oh, is it?
Right over there - That over there?
Yeah. And its really good - Yeah? Haha.
Its over there what else - Yeah well
do we have? - Oh well I guess we
- Have merch of some kind if you have
money of some kind - Bing!
After she takes everything! Right down here
- Hey!
And if you want to subscribe and watch this relationship
really just fall apart - Mhm!
You can be there when it happens
for the future videos. Uh oh. - Yeah, 'cause you're gonna
- Have a lot of time on your hands if you subscribe! Ha! No!