Party people!
Welcome to Toygrind, the toy review show with me, Thew, that's very pointedly not about Transformers,
where, all of four episodes in, it's time to embrace the inevitable and just do some GoBots instead.
Look, don't let me just keep doing GoBots, all right?
There's a lot of other stuff I wanna do and this could very easily turn into The GoBot Show.
Right then, a little bit of BG on the GBs, not enough to do you any harm!
So the GoBots were released in 1983 by Tonka - much like I was -
as a westernised and mildly less rad version of Bandai's Machine Robo toyline,
so pretty much exactly as Transformers were to Diaclone,
and they did all right at first, but the ravages of time have seen them largely dismissed by the popular conscience
as the dumb Transformers wannabe dickhead brand.
I mean, sure, they've got some fruity bloody names and the cartoon was pretty weak,
but the Transformers show really wasn't all that, y'know,
and anyone with even a basic grasp of numbers will know that 83 comes before 84!
So if you really insist that the whole GoBots thing was just a lame cash-in copycat,
then I'm not saying you're a bad person, but you're clearly not that interested in facts.
But with no meaningful modern-day revival and constant derision from smartass parody shows,
the prevailing perception is that GoBots are the lame ones, and that's just how it be.
So I'm here today to show you that GoBots can be badass!
I mean, why do you think the Disturbed guy covets them so much?
#I wanna get Psycho!#
Here it comes, wreck a party like it don't matter - this is Destroyer!
Yes indeed, this renegade tank face was a re-release of the Machine Robo DX Leopard A4 Robot
and he showed up on these shores in the first wave of the Super GoBots -
easily identifiable as The Big Ones -
and I only got him about a year ago, but I always sorta wanted him as a kid.
But do you know how frustrating it is knowing there's a GoBot out there that turns into a tank
but its name isn't Tank but there's another one called Tank that isn't a tank?
As if the whole GoBots/Robo Machine/Machine Robo/Machine Men thing wasn't enough of a headfrig.
So looking at this robot design, I can kinda see why the GoBots are a bit cheesy for some people's palates?
Like, it's doofy and clumsy and obvious, but it's honest!
It just says, "what if a tank stood up?"
I mean check out that bod, it's like an armour-plated cliff face! Just an ominous border wall of ice-cold
die-cast heftitude in murky camo with the entire tank turret just plonked on top.
I'm all about this whole cannon-face thing, man, it's just so blatant, and it's a very GoBots thing to do!
And mechanically it works! Like, it's got a whole 360-degree headspin,
but in Destroyer's case in particular, it's kinda creepy.
I mean, at least with Bug Bite, and like Zeemon, and all the other car-face bros, you can kinda make-believe
that the windscreens are a sort of de facto eye visor
but Destroyer comes off like some hellish eyeless ghoul, or just the world's weirdest cyclops.
Anyway, check out these dorky little Chopping Mall Johnny-5 arms, like
"beep boop, can of soup!"
Love the cheeky little clamp-clamp-ka-bamps and this peculiar Megatron-esque arm-mounted pec-pipe thingy!
It's not great, honestly, but I at least appreciate that he gets a weapon,
but it looks daft on the arm and just magnitudes dafter on the face!
Why's that even a feature?
Legs are a smidge strange - like they're clearly just some tank treads balanced on end,
and they're placed right at the back of this weirdly long ass, so he's always sorta leaning into you like a weirdo.
Hes also packin' a tertiary torso-on-treads Gobocentaur mode, which, not gonna lie - that's awesome!
And honestly, it's sorta comforting, 'cos I'm not convinced his feeble old toes
can be relied upon at 35 years of age.
I mean, check out the stress mark on the poor old gun barrel there, no doubt from bearin' the brunt of
three decades of faceplants.
Good album title!
So, it's hardly the slickest robot mode, but there's somethin' undeniably appealing about a mean-ass
military cyborg whose face is a massive gun!
Destroyer don't play.
[FRANTIC HARDCORE PUNK]
Transformation feels a bit scary at his age, but its wonderfully simple!
The arms just sorta fold away in a little cupboard and the whole torso just melts downward into this
absolute undisputed purest tank mode I've ever seen!
Check out this cute little crush beast! It's almost too perfect?
I mean without this one mostly-obscured crease, you'd barely know it transforms!
So check out this meaty metal tank bod with all moulded-in tools and axes and an entry hatch even!
Turret's lookin' peng with the slick sculpting and the baby spotlight up the front there.
Definitely appreciate the restrained paint job as well -
just a straightforward blanket of gloomy green with no
gimmicky robo-nonsense to give him away!
Stickers are holdin' up all right for a toy well into its 30s
with all serial numbers and hazard warning signs and that, although I'm not sure if I'm totally okay with the
actual Iron Cross of the Wehrmacht?
I guess at least it's not a swastika.
Just seems a bit heavy for what is essentially a Hannah-Barbera character.
I realy don't know what i'm supposed to do with this gun extender either!
What is that, a silencer? Can you silence a tank?
Why is this a feature!?
HHHWHY?
But anyway, can we talk about the working tank tracks!?
Yes indeed, Destroyer's packin' a set of legit actual functioning caterpillar treads
that roll around all nice and make a wonderful soft clicky sound!
#Doot-de-doot-de-doot-de-doot-#
Ooh, the very cautious 35-year-old functioning rubber caterpillar doot-de-doo.
And he won't even go backwards, so it's actually just a doot.
#DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#
It's just so weird to me that GoBots had this in 1983
and the Transformers didn't figure it out for decades.
And even then, they didn't think to put it on a tank until the space year 2015!
Maybe they should've called him Innovator!
This tank mode is seriously somethin' else, man!
It's just a legitimately stunning thing that could effortlessly pass for a high-quality model
and you've gotta respect it!
So yes, Super GoBots Destroyer is a superbly sweet killing machine!
As a robot, it's definitely less a mountain of military muscle, and more ...some kind of pylon.
But he's just an endlessly charming B-lister and an icon of what was so strange and endearing
good-bad about the GoBots.
And this isn't really even one of the decent ones!
I mean, the likes of Leader-1 and Spay-C were just light years ahead of their Transformer counterparts
and at the very least, the GoBots had some planes that were different to each other.
So if you're still content to just sit there and smirk and just write off the GoBots 'cos they're sooo laaame duude
then you're either stupid, or you're an arsehole.
GoBots are cool and you know it.