You know, I’ve never been a big fan of the whole “soulmate” thing.
I mean, that would require actually having a soul.
Hey everyone, Laci Green here for DNews.
The “soulmate” is a concept with a rich mythological history.
According to Plato, Aristophanes described ancient human beings as having 2 faces, 4
arms, 4 legs, and 2 sets of genitals.
When humans threatened the gods, Zeus struck all humans in HALF, casting them into utter
misery.
If a human managed to find their other half, the other half of their SOUL, there was a
profound sense of completeness and understanding.
The greatest joy there could ever be in life.
It’s kinda cute, right?
These days, people regard soulmates as a romantic concept, someone you feel completed by - that
you were made for each other.
A Marist poll a few years ago found that roughly 3 in 4 Americans believe there is ONE person
on earth who is meant for them and will make them feel complete.
Now scientists are saying that maaaaaybe this whole “soulmates” thing is a bad idea,
guys.
A new study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology categorized people into
2 rough groups: those who frame their relationships as a “unity” AKA soulmates and those who
frame their relationships as a “journey” that you’re on with someone.
What they found is that those who describe their relationship as a unity have more dismal
romantic outcomes.
The researchers asked the participants to compare levels of satisfaction during times
of harmony and times of conflict.
They found that only for those who believe in unity, they were significantly more upset
in times of conflict than those who take the journey approach.
Previous research on the topic has found that the soulmate group tends to have short but
intensely passionate relationships, as they seek out the person they feel a connection
with.
The relationships were shorter because, when conflict came up, they had trouble coping
with it and working toward resolution.
Instead, they saw conflict as a sign that they weren’t meant to be.
By contrast, the journey group were more likely to seek out partners that they could see themselves
growing with - not that they necessarily had intense passion with right away.
When conflict happened, they were more likely to work to resolve them, and this group had
more satisfying relationships overall.
The moral of the story: the soulmates thing could jeopardize relationships if it’s taken
too seriously.
The researchers at the University of Toronto say, if anything, this research is a great
example of how the ways that we talk about and think about relationships can greatly
influence our success and satisfaction in them.
So folks, are you a believer in “the one”?
Or does it belong in Ancient Greece?
Let me know down below and I’ll see you next time on DNews!