( APPLAUSE )
WELCOME BACK!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, " MY GUEST IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW
FROM "THE BIG CHILL," "JURASSIC PARK," AND "THOR: RAGNAROK."
HIS SHOW, "THE WORLD ACCORDING TO JEFF GOLDBLUM," HAS JUST
RETURNED FOR ITS SECOND SEASON.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," IT'S JEFF GOLDBLUM!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: JEFF, JEFF, I JUST WISH YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF MORE.
>> I DO HAVE A GOOD TIME.
>> Stephen: IT'S ALWAYS LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
AND I HAVE TO SAY RIGHT OFF THE BAT I'M ALWAYS VERY-- I'M VERY
GRATEFUL TO ANY GUEST WHO REALLY PUTS ON THE DUDS BEFORE THEY
COME OUT HERE.
AND YOU NEVER-- YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT.
I'M JUST CURIOUS, WHAT COULD I-- ONE THING I COULD WEAR TO, LIKE,
GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF THE GOLDBLUM MAGIC.
>> I WOULDN'T WISH MYSELF ON ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY YOU.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN...
THE HEIGHT OF YOU.
>> Stephen: I AM THE MOST ME I CAN BE, I UNDERSTAND THAT.
>> IT'S FANTASTIC.
BUT I WAS PREPARED FOR THAT.
I-- SO I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: OH.
FANTASTIC.
>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ON THESE GLASSES?
YOU WEAR GLASSES, AND I WEAR GLASSES.
AND YOU'VE GOT A NICE-- NICE FRAME THERE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
>> NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT FRAME.
YOU CHOSE THOSE-- THOSE -- >> Stephen: I CHOSE THESE,
YES.
>> NOTHING WRONG -- >> Stephen: CAN I TRY YOURS
ON?
YOU.
>> YOU CAN TRY ON ANYTHING YOU WANT.
ANYTHING I HAVE IS YOURS.
THIS IS METAL-- >> OH, I SEE.
( APPLAUSE )
THAT'S GOOD.
>> Stephen: I'LL TRY THESE ON, TOO.
>> I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> IT'S ALSO PRESCRIPTION, SO -- >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
WOW!
>> WELL, COME ON.
>> Stephen: THIS GIVES ME A LITTLE ...I GOT-- IT'S A LITTLE
JEFF GOLDBLUM, AND LITTLE OYE ORBISON.
>> YEAH, BUT IT'S WONDERFUL.
>> Stephen: WISH IT WAS MY PRESCRIPTION SO I COULD SEE WHAT
I LOOK LIKE.
>> YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE STRONGER GLASSES THAN I DO.
>> REALLY?
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.
THEY JUST GIVE THEM TO ME AND I PUT THEM ON MY FACE DO YOU KNOW
YOUR PRESCRIPTION.
>> I'M FIANCE 250.
WHICH IS NOT MUCH.
YOURS ARE STRONGER, SIR.
YOURS ARE STRONGER.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HERE AND HAVE YOU INSULT MY
EYEBALLS.
>> I'M NOT INSULTING THEM AND I'M NOT --
>> Stephen: ASTIGMATIC IS MY PROBLEM.
>> WHAT'S THAT, YOU HAVE AN -- >> Stephen: AN ASTIGMATISM.
I'M ASTIGMATIC BECAUSE I HAVE AN ASTIGMATISM.
>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME.
>> Stephen: NO, THERE'S A WARP IN THE LENS.
THERE'S A DIMPLE OR DIVOT OR WARP IN THE LENS SO YOU HAVE TO
SHAPT INSIDE OF THIS LENS IN ORDER TO CORRECT IT.
MUCH LIKE THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE.
>> NOW THAT YOU BROUGHT IT UP, I'M HERE TO PROMOTE THIS SHOW
OUT TODAY.
BUT I'M NOT JUST -- >> Stephen: NO, NO, DO IT.
>> I'M NOT COULD GO IT, BUT YOU REMINDED ME OF THIS THING,
BECAUSE WE DID AN EPISODE-- IT'S NOT THIS YEAR COMING OUT, BUT
LAST YEAR-- I TALKED TO.
I WENT TO NASA, AND ALL -- >> Stephen: THIS IS IN "THE
WORLD ACCORDING TO JEFF GOLDBLUM."
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: ON DISNEY+.
A DELIGHTFUL SHOW.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE IN IT.
YOU'RE CURIOUS.
I LIKE YOUR CURIOSITY.
>> I LIKE YOUR CURIOSITY.
LAST YEAR I WAS TALKING TO NASA AND THEY SAID ALL THE ASTRONAUTS
THAT GO UP-- NOT THE WOMEN, NONE OF THE WOMEN-- ALL OF THEM COME
DOWN, IF THEY'VE SPENT A GOOD DEAL OF TIME UP THERE, SOMETHING
IN THEIR LIGHT EYEBALL-- NOT THEIR LEFT-- THAT IS FUNNY AND
MISSHAPEN.
YUP.
AND THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE SOME SORT OF SPACE PARASITE THAT
EVENTUALLY BURSTS OUT AND EATS EVERYONE ELSE ON THE SHIP?
>> INTERESTING THEORY.
I DOUBT IT.
>> Stephen: AT THIS POINT WE DON'T KNOW.
THE SCIENCE ISN'T IN YET.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, TRUST THE EVIDENCE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK.
DON'T YOU LEAVE, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE MR. JEFF
GOLDBLUM.