-Hello.
Can you see me?
I'm hiding.
I'm gonna be hiding for the whole episode
of "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition" tonight.
Let's see if you can -- Oh, did see me move?
Did you see -- Ah.
Did you see?
Just kidding. Hi, everybody.
All-new "Tonight Show: At Home Edition" starts now.
♪♪
-♪ We in the house ♪ Come on!
-Tonight join Jimmy and his guests,
Shailene Woodley, Maluma,
musical guest Thom Yorke, and the legendary Roots crew.
It's the "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
-♪ We in the house, y'all ♪
And now, here's Jimmy.
-Hey, everyone, welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
This is the hidden episode because we tried to make
this space into a room where we might do some jokes from,
but the acoustics are pretty bad,
and the lighting isn't great.
The wallpaper's great for what the room normally is
but not for this.
So we tried to make it look like a setup, but it's not a setup.
Anyways, so this is kind of a hidden episode
because we'll never shoot like this ever again.
This will be the first and last time we broadcast
from this exact space, doing exactly this.
So, you found me. You found the hidden episode.
Congratulations. [ Laughs ]
Well, let's get to some jokes here, everybody.
Costco announced that, starting next week,
all customers will have to wear face masks.
It's good 'cause now you can stay anonymous
while you buy 6 gallons of cheese balls.
I love cheese balls. -You do.
-What did we get -- We did get them in, like,
a bucket or whatever. -Every summer. Every summer.
-Gosh, it tastes better the more you -- no one eats them.
-Three months in, they're even better.
-[ Laughs ]
They almost become a gelatinous cheese ball.
-One big ball. -They become spreadable.
Meanwhile, a new undercover video
apparently shows Home Depot employees
refusing to wear masks at work. And people are shocked.
They said, "Home Depot has employees?
Where?
Hello, hello, hello? I need help, help.
I just don't know where, where to get, get,
a ball-peen hammer, hammer.
Anyone work here, here?"
I guess I'll just use the self check-out, check-out."
That was my echo training.
I saw that Disney World is trying to reopen,
and they're considering asking guests to wear masks.
It might be necessary but also takes the fun out of
seeing a photo of yourself on the roller coaster
looking like this.
You got to do a lot of eye work.
For the whole time, because you never know
when they're gonna take the flash, either.
They'll still charge you for that photo, though.
Don't worry about that.
For the first time ever, movies that were streaming only
will now be eligible for Academy Awards.
They made the switch after realizing the only movies
in theaters this year would've been
"Sonic the Hedgehog" and "Dolittle."
[ Chuckles ]
It was just announced that all the world's major film festivals
are going to be consolidated
into one virtual event that you can view online.
They've even come up with a catchy name for it --
Netflix.
In a new interview, Dr. Fauci said,
"We're not ready for sports to come back yet."
I don't know. I think I was ready yesterday
when I watched eight hours of the World Series of Solitaire.
Well, this is great. Yesterday, the cast
of "Melrose Place" reunited
to raise money for struggling actors.
Which means all the money raised
will go to the cast of "Melrose Place."
I saw that an 11-year-old boy in Colorado
caught a trout the size of a toddler.
At least that's what he said until his mom was like,
"Ugh. Please unhook your brother."
I read about a beekeeper in London who uses the sounds
from his hives to make electronic music.
So any time you're stressed during quarantine,
just remember, you could be living with that guy.
♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪
♪ Bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz ♪
♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪
Good. [ Laughs ]
Finally, I heard about a group of German doctors
who posed naked online to raise awareness
for their lack of protective equipment.
It taught me two things --
one, doctors everywhere need our support.
Number two, it's still cold in Germany in April.
There you guys have it.
That is our monologue right there.
I appreciate that.
Thank you for listening to those.
We have a great show tonight.
First of all, I wasn't to say Salesforce is helping us out.
Anything you can donate to Salesforce between --
Sorry. To World Central Kitchen between now and June 1st,
Salesforce will match up to $250,000.
So, you can text "meals" to 80100,
and that will totally help and totally work.
I think it charges your phone a dollar.
You can do it really quickly. You can do it right now.
Have your kids do it. Show your kids how to donate.
"This is how you do it, kids."
And, Salesforce, thanks for stepping up.
That's awesome that you're doing that.
We have a great show tonight.
Shailene Woodley is on the show tonight.
I love talking to Shailene. Normally, I would --
You know, I would give her a hug, and clearly we can't do it.
I don't even know if people are gonna hug anyone.
But she taught me a cool hug
for those of you with people that you can hug.
I can hug you, honey.
But what she does is,
she hugs the opposite way, so our hearts touch.
-Mm. -That's cute.
And so I've done that a couple of times --
shown that to a couple of people.
They like that. But that's --
It always reminds me of Shailene Woodley.
Also, Maluma.
Gosh, this guy is on fire.
He's just the biggest of all big.
I love Maluma. After he did that concert,
by the way, that we did with Lady Gaga,
"One World Together At Home,"
his song went to number one that he did, "Carnival."
Went to number one, because he's great.
And then, speaking of music -- So check this out.
You're not even gonna believe this story.
Thom Yorke, from Radiohead -- Thom Yorke --
was thinking about what song to do for our show.
We love Thom Yorke, we love Radiohead.
A piece of paper falls out of his piano thing,
and it's a song that he -- he didn't know if he was
gonna finish or not. He finished it for our show.
"Plasticine Figures." The debut of the song.
Never been heard outside of Thom Yorke's brain.
Will be played tonight for you guys.
Thom Yorke, brand-new song, "Plasticine Figures."
What? That is the coolest thing ever.
I love you, Thom Yorke.
Hey, guys, it's time for a little thing called
"What are you Doing Wednesday?"
-♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪
♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪
-This first one here -- a lot of the --
The first three are dad ones.
This first one is from @shavaunblair.
Helps his baby out with a top-secret mission.
♪♪
-♪ Doom doom, da-doom-doom ♪
Should you choose to accept it.
This next one is a dad. He likes to multitask.
While making dinner, he has to do other things.
Watch.
Shh.
Parent of the Year right there.
I love that move. Parent of the Year.
That's good. Cooking and pulling the swing.
This next one is from @sidevelinbabies.
Her sister told her dad about her bad grades,
and her dad came in and talked to her about.
Watch.
-You had two tests. -I did them.
-You got a 53 and a 60.
You can cheat. It's online.
-I did cheat!
-And you still got a 53 and a 60?
-Yes.
-No way! He's the Dad of the Year.
"Honey, you cheated and still -- Well, cheat better next time.
You cheated and still failed?"
[ Laughs ] That's great.
This last one here just kind of made me feel good.
It's a neighborhood, sent from @Laurantfornel,
posted a video of her neighborhood
doing a socially distant line dance.
It's pretty cool. Check it out.
♪♪
[ Clapping ] Ah, makes you feel good.
That is awesome, guys.
Congrats to everyone who just joined in and did that.
That must have been a cool moment for everyone.
We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show," everybody.
♪♪
-Two kids coloring together.
Some friends celebrating a holiday.
Lovers caught in an embrace.
An office hard at work.
A mixed-race family caught in a candid moment.
And a sad boy looking out of the window.
We may not be able to make commercials right now,
but we can still make pictures zoom in and out.
Stock images.
♪♪