- What's up, everyone?
Welcome back to the channel.
Today's video, it's another INFJ video, man,
it's been a while since I've done one.
What we're gonna be talking about might seem weird at first.
How can an INFJ handle stress?
Someone who is the INFJ personality type.
It seems weird because it's like,
is that really personality specific?
Come on, man.
Doesn't everyone basically handle it the same?
Are we reaching for something to talk about?
But actually, I think that there is something
type specific here because
each type will get stressed out
more by different things.
There are things that will stress out an INFJ
that won't stress out other types,
because of those specific things having to do with
where your attention is based on your type,
based on your cognitive functions and all that.
So, why don't we start there?
What is more stressful for an INFJ than other types?
And of course, because INFJs and INTJs
both have the same dominant cognitive function,
the word went out of my head for a second,
because they have the same dominant function,
it's very similar, if not exactly the same for both types.
They both have introverted intuition.
So, theoretically, I think what is going to get to an INFJ
faster than perhaps, let's say the opposite type,
an ESTP, what's gonna get to the INFJ
is a bunch of stuff
comin' at ya'.
A bunch of stuff that you have to deal with in your life,
a bunch of real stuff, whether that's tasks,
whether that's people you have to talk to,
whether that's the chores you have to do,
the errands you have to run,
things in the physical world, real things.
And not just that they happen, not this,
just that you have to do them
but that they're coming at you without seeming to care
that you haven't finished the last thing.
It's about keeping up with it that's really the difficulty.
And that's because we have inferior extroverted sensing,
which is all about just being aware
and handling those things in the physical real world
as they come at you.
You'll notice if you see someone, an ESP,
who is dominant in that they handle a bunch of crap
being thrown at them without seeming to care,
without even noticing it, it's almost like they prefer it,
if you find someone who is like that.
Here's how we get ourselves more stressed out
in those situations.
Is that because we think the answer
lies with the dominant function, with introverted intuition,
what we'll try to do is just think out into the future
and figure all these things out before they happen.
Let me systematize my life,
let me plan all these things,
let me try to solve this in an abstract way
to do all these things.
Well, the reason that trips you up
is because you get really focused in on one thing
and it's not even in the present moment,
it's like more in the future,
but then stuff in the real world,
in the now, keeps coming at you,
it doesn't care that you're planning
and so you get tripped up.
Maybe you even miss things more often,
you forget stuff,
you're not expecting it
and it makes it more stressful when things crop up,
when new things in the physical world are presented to you
it's even worse, you get more stressed out
because you're trying to solve it
with your introverted intuition and it's not helping.
It's not, it's making things worse.
So, how do you then deal with it?
When you're trying to do it,
when you try your best but you don't succeed.
When you get what you want, but not what you need.
Really quick, let's stop and see if YouTube
would like to show a commercial.
Unfortunately, the answer lies with that inferior function.
But don't be, don't run off half-cocked
because in the personality
theory that we're using here,
with this Jungian personality theory,
the main problem in your life is this imbalance
of the dominant and inferior function
in a way where it's like you're constantly pushing away
the inferior function, and it's like, but it's ever present,
it's always there and it's this tidal wave
that's always happening
because you're trying to do that inferior thing
with the dominant thing, it's messing you up.
It's not good.
Okay?
(laughs)
It's the biggest problem in your life,
whether you realize it or not.
So, don't run off half-cocked and think,
yeah, I'm gonna do the extroverted sensing,
now let me plan how I'm gonna do it.
Let me try to abstractize this stuff.
No, stop.
What you really need to do, to do,
a good way to get a handle on the extroverted sensing
is to just practice being in the present moment.
Now here's something interesting,
you hear a bunch of these spiritual teachers
always talking about being in the present moment and stuff.
I think it's, you would think because you hear it so often,
oh, this is because this is something
everyone needs to hear.
My theory is all of these teachers are intuitive people
who don't know naturally how to be in the present moment
so they're teaching this like it's a big discovery.
Meanwhile, half of the people out there
who just do it naturally, they're in the present moment
dealing with stuff.
They don't, it's not a big revelation to them.
Anyway, but for INFJs, being in the present moment
is a very important practice to develop.
That is the thing where you learn to stop
projecting into the future,
and stop trying to view things in this abstract way,
to view things just as they are
without attaching your own meaning to it.
Just being like, oh, there's a lamp, I love lamp.
Stuff like that, although how much is a lamp
causing problems in your life?
I don't know, but be more like,
I'm in the present moment right now.
I don't need to think about all these things
that are overwhelming me, you know?
Because a lot of times when these tasks come up,
these things in the present that are overwhelming you
and causing you stress,
you've got things coming at you from every side,
it's not always actually in the present moment,
but we are able to project it so that
even if it's something I have to deal with next week,
it feels like it's now.
It's that weird push pull of the intuition
and the sensing that we have where we take things
that aren't even happening now,
but we like, make them feel like they're happening now
in a weird way because we're projecting into the future.
They're not even happening now,
we just became aware that they will happen.
Not good folks, not good.
So what you have to do is actually be in the present moment
and realize there's nothing happening right now.
And if there is something happening, I'll focus on that,
let me do that thing, and let me not project
to the next thing I have to do.
Or maybe there are five things that have to be done at once.
Your toilet's overflowing,
your mom is calling you,
and you're hungry and you need to make dinner.
Well, you need to just focus on one thing at a time.
Stop that toilet from overflowing first.
It doesn't, you know, just being present with the one thing.
Work your way up, 'cause the people who do this naturally,
the extroverted sensing dominant people,
they could handle those five things and they wouldn't care.
They'd just be like, whatever, this is my life.
I deal with five things at once, why can't you?
Work your way up to it one thing at a time.
That's probably what they do also,
they just naturally.
Someone who is good at extroverted sensing
will just naturally do one thing at a time, whatever.
Sure, they'll feel a little bit overwhelmed,
but it's not like, it feels like the end of the world
for INFJs and INTJs when this kind of stuff is happening.
I have always felt in my life
like I just want my life to be one thing at a time
and preferably, preferably just one thing forever.
Just let me get in that one track and go on it
and not have to do anything else.
It really stresses me out if I have
two things that I have to do in a day
that are like separate and not related at all,
it overwhelms me, I can't, it's difficult to handle.
It's one of those things where if I have something
in the evening, I feel like the day,
like I can't do anything the whole day
because I've got to like, get in the mindset
of that thing later and
it's a whole thing.
Why can't I just do one thing for the rest of my life?
Why can't I just make this one video
for the rest of my life?
Good idea?
What do you think?
The most stressful things in your life
are when it's like everything coming at you at once,
and you might realize it's not actually everything,
it might only be like two things,
but we have meltdowns because we can't,
we're not equipped to handle it.
It's our inferior function, so it's like oh my gosh,
the world is falling apart!
And it's like, B-word please,
it's really not that many things.
And a last thing here, is that a lot of time an INFJ
can want to indulge in physical pleasures
as a way to de-stress because it's like a weird way
that we get into the present moment.
Like for me, I just like to eat and drink and be merry,
and that's my way of being in the present moment.
And it's not so good when you're just like,
eating a whole pint of ice cream.
I mean, it might be good.
Yeah, of course it's good, but it might not be good
in the long term.
It's this weird thing where normally
we're always thinking about the future,
and yet, we'll do things in the present moment.
But like, I'm being in the present,
I'm not gonna think about the future,
that's the weird dynamic of it.
Where it's like, I'm going to,
I'm being in the present by doing something not great
and not thinking about the future at all.
Or maybe it's just like, I wanna take a warm bath,
it's a nice physical pleasure.
And some of these things are good, you know,
maybe taking a bath every once in a while
can help you get into the present moment and clear your mind
and not think so much about the future,
and not worry so much about all the things you have to do.
Just taking things one thing at a time,
but don't go too far into it because that's a trap.
It's a trap that you can fall into if you're not careful.
That's all I got for today.
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And until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
(melancholy guitar music)