People of Reddit, what is the stupidest way you have beep up while cooking?
Not me but my sister: In first year university she tried to take on the challenging task of cooking rice.
For the step that says get a cup of water she did exactly that and filled a glass of water.
She never actually put the water in the rice as she thought it would be for "if you got thirsty while making the rice".
She then burned the waterless rice in the pan and made the building evacuate due to the fire alarms.. [Great sis.
DO NOT THROW beep IN BOILING OIL TO AVOID BEING SPLASHED!
I'm the type of idiot that used to edge toward the pan and throw the meat in then run away hoping to not get seared in burning oil.
I'd try from across the room sometimes being completely unaware that you can avoid the splash by just easing the meat in.
Armed with a shield of kitchen dishcloth I threw the meat from the island to the pan on the stove (bout 3 feet).
I missed.
The meat hit the pan handle and the whole thing flipped over.
Boiling oil went flying everywhere.
O beep I run over to save the meat from the floor (5 second rule) and I step in the beep oil,
burning the beep out of my foot.
Keep me away from kitchens.
Made the most beautiful cheese omelet you've ever seen using shredded coconut instead of cheese.
Chef here....catching a falling knife by the blade....grabbing a metal pan handle bare handed out of the oven....rubbing my eye after cutting a beep ton of chilies....lost an eyebrow lighting a pilot light....
touched the pan to see if it's hot.
it was very.
Went outside while I was boiling eggs on the stove.
Did you know they explode?
**TL/DR available below**
I worked at a landfill driving bulldozers when I was 18, and 3 times a day one of those lunch trucks would show up.
Her first time arriving was around 9am, and I developed a habit of buying those little [cans of soup with the pull top But because we we one of the first stops on her route, her truck hadn't warmed up yet and the soup was always cold.
No problem, we had lots of [hand held around.
I would just use those to heat them up in a minute and eat them.
Well, one morning for break, she showed up and I bought the
soup.
Walked into the office trailer and grabbed the torch and walked out onto the patio to "cook" my food while everyone was inside.
Normally what I would do was crack the lid of the soup first, then heat it.
but today, for some stupid reason, I put the heat of the blow torch on the can before cracking the lid.
The lid of the can went, "BUNK" and popped up.
I quickly realized I had done something stupid, and removed the flame.
The lid went "BINK" and flattened back out.
Cool sound!
So, I put the flame back to the can briefly.
"BUNK"... removed it.
"BINK" It sounded really really cool.
This is fun!
So, I began trying to make music.
"BUNK... BINK, BUNK-BINK, BUNK... BINK, BUNK-BINK, BUNK... BINK, BUNK-BINK, BUNK...
BINK."
I was so new age.
The show STOMP hadn't even been created yet, but here I was making amazing music with a can... till suddenly it went, BUNK....
**BOOOOOOM!!!
!
The can exploded, and everyone in the trailer who watched me walk outside with a handheld blowtorch 2 minutes earlier thought I was dead.
They ran outside onto the patio of the trailer, and saw me standing there.
Ears ringing, completely in
shock and covered in chunky soup from head to toe.
On the wall behind me, a perfect outline of my body silhouetted in soup.
Basically, the lid blew open, causing the can to spin and spraying everywhere.
Their concern for my life quickly turned to them dying from laughter and ridicule.
I still didn't fully understand what happened, and just stood there with my eyes as wide as saucers for a good 30 seconds.
Learned a very important lesson about pressure in vessels that day.
**TL/DR Tried heating a can of soup before cracking the lid.
Soup blew, covering me from head to toe in Chunky Soup and leaving the outline of my body in soup on the wall behind me.
Edit: I tried to recreate it.
Scared the crap out of myself.
Editing the video now.
Failed in complete recreation, but was pretty damn funny.
[I did my
I was chopping onions.
I kept slicing them up, putting the peels in the bowl and the onion chunks in the trash.
I did that 4 onions in a row without realizing.
Not cooking, but cleaning up after.
I was scratching at a piece of previously melted but now hardened piece of cheese on a plate when a splinter of cheese shoved under my fingernail.
The first and only time I have heard of a grilled cheese related injury.
edit: Who knew I could have a whole support group?
CARCISOA: Cheese and related condiment injury sufferers of America.
I think this needs to be a thing.
Finally a question I have a story for!
When I was in college I got back from a night of drinking and decided, as most drunk people do after a long night of fun, that I had to have food at *that exact moment*.
The problem was my driver had gone home so Taco Bell was totally out of the question, so I did what anyone would have done, I mixed up some cake batter and threw the beep thing in the oven.
I didn't put the batter I mixed in a pan or anything though, I just mixed the beep up in a big glass measuring bowl, then decided to put the measuring bowl in the oven.
I figured "hey it's sorta like a pan just more circular and it will tell me how many tablespoons of cake I made after the fact,
NEAT!
Any way drunk me was far too hungry to worry about silly little details like what temperature it needed to be cooked at and just turned the knob all the way to what sober me would later find out was 550 degrees (on a side note what beep food would ever need to be cooked that hot?
!
We'll come back to the "cake" but now I need to tell you about the icing, every cake needs icing right?
I was in far too big of a hurry to worry about what exactly the ingredients to icing were and I knew it involved some sort of mixture of milk and powdered sugar (maybe some other beep but milk and powdered sugar would beep do I decided.)
I then proceeded to
mix milk and powdered sugar together in large quantities until I got something with a consistency that resembled icing... or soup... but I figured it'll do, and I'll be god damned if I didn't think it was the tastiest beep thing I'd ever had in my life too.
Okay back to the cake, now that I had the icing made I needed to set the timer for the cake (which had probably already been in there for about 20 minutes while I mixed the "icing").
I mashed every button on that beep oven and I swear to god to this day it had no timer feature that my over-served ass could find, so I just figured that me being the baking expert that I was, I would just know from my chef's intuition when the cake was ready to
guzzle down.
So I lay down on the couch to "rest my eyes" while I wait for the cake to be ready and of course I fall asleep.
Cut to a couple hours later (I'm guessing) and it turns out the oven did have a timer!
It was just activated by a gratuitous amount of smoke in the kitchen!
I awake to the oven timer (aka smoke detector) loudly buzzing and sprint to the oven and open it up to find a large measuring cup filled with what was now a (far more than) fully cooked cake inside it... also it was on fire.
I frantically sprint around the kitchen looking for a fire extinguisher, I find one under the sink but I was wayyyyy too wasted to figure out how the damn thing worked so I, in a fit of
desperation look around the kitchen for anything that could put out the fire... "The icing!"
I think to myself, what a genius I am.
So I take the flaming measuring bowl, filled with cake and a topping of hellfire, and throw it in the sink, I then proceed to dump the metric beep of "icing" (AKA milk and powdered sugar) that I made earlier on it to put out the inferno.
It worked perfectly, I now had some kind of charred remains of something that used to resemble a cake and one big problem, I was still really hungry (AKA drunk) and all I had to eat was this "cake" I had just made,
It was beep delicious.
TLDR: DRUNK!!!
MAKE A CAKE DUDE!!!
HOLY beep FIRE!!!
YUMMMM!
I was baking cookies one day, based off the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip package.
I saw that it needed 2 1/4 cups of flour.
For some really stupid reason, I took that as two, one-fourth cups of flour instead of two and a fourth cups of flour... yeah, not my best moment.
Still ate them, though.
Late edit: Two days later, saw all the upvotes this got!
Too late now, but here's a picture:
I was making toffee while I was very high and I stuck my finger in for a taste.
Don't ever do that
I strained vegetable soup once...
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