We've been living on Silver Fox for just over two years now,
but we've lived on narrowboats on and off for about 17 years haven't we?
Yes we have, yes.
Our first one back in 2004 was called The Great Escape.
We've never seen that one since have we?
We haven't, no.
and we've had some amazing adventures.
We've seen places that just look totally different from the water,
a few nail-biting moments,
lots of laughs and a few tears.
We wouldn't change it for anything.
No.
But it's not for everybody
and life on a narrowboat can take some adjusting to.
Oooh god yes.
Doesn't help when content creators like us and TV shows
portray boating as this romanticised fantasy.
So over the next two weeks we're going to show you
10 reasons why you really shouldn't live on a narrowboat
and then 10 reasons why you absolutely should.
[Music playing]
[Music fading]
Reason number one,
is you will lose money.
Boats generally depreciate in value,
whereas property generally increases in value over time
and that's because as soon as you put a boat in water,
there's a reaction between the oxygen and the water and the metal
and it starts to eat away at it.
It does take a long time.
It does and you get pitting, little tiny holes, which if you don't look after it,
turn into bigger holes and then, glug glug glug,
down you go.
Is that wine.
[Laughs]
Now don't get me wrong, you do have to spend money on a house,
you've got doors and windows to look after and your roof,
to make sure your roof isn't leaking
and there's all sorts of little things you need to do in the house.
But on a boat there's a lot more to do,
so it does cost you more money over a shorter period of time.
Now saying that boat prices have actually been going up recently,
which is very unusual
and that's due to all the things that have been going on around the world.
Oh yes.
And people want to get away,
so used boat prices have been going up
and new boat prices are going through the roof at the moment,
because the price of steel is just so high.
Who's buying all this steel?
I've no idea.
Some bloke in some country has got a garden full of base plates hasn't he.
Somebody building a big steel house.
We have done a separate video on all the costs involved
in running and living on a narrowboat
and there's a link in the video description
and if you're watching on a mobile device, there should be one up above Shaun's head.
[Music playing]
Reason number two,
it's not always the peaceful stress-free life that it can be portrayed to be.
At the end of the day you're living on a public footpath,
so people are gonna be walking up and down all day,
you're gonna get people shouting and running and drinking and being a bit lairy.
You're going to get people walking and exercising the dogs all day
Yeah, pick up your poop!
The dogs or theirs?
Both!
[Laughing]
You can moor it out in the middle of nowhere,
but what you generally find, somebody will come and moor right next to you,
in front of you or behind you
and you think that little old lady in that 40-foot springer,
with a little cute dog and the flowers on the top is gonna be a quiet neighbour,
you wait until two o'clock in the morning,
Boom boom boom boom boom!
[Laughing]
She likes it hardcore, she does. [Laughing]
Oh my god, I hope we're talking about music.
She does like it hardcore.
You never know.
Don't get me wrong, it is possible to find peaceful places,
but a lot of the time you're gonna get noise.
You might get people mooring up and working on their boat,
getting grinders out and saws
and generators and engines, especially in the colder months,
Yes.
so you just got to be aware of that.
It is a bit more difficult for me and I'm biased,
because i've got high functioning Autism and ADHD, so
I have sensory issues and noises like that tend to get to be more than
Me!
people like Shaun, who's proper chill.
So if you don't mind the noise and you like the hubbub of a community,
it's fine, but just don't come into this
expecting it to be completely stress-free and quiet all the time.
[Music playing]
Reason number three,
who sang that, Reasons to be cheerful, part three.
Errr!
Drop it in the comments because we haven't got time for this right now.
[Laughs]
It will test even the strongest of relationships,
boat life, not reasons to be cheerful.
At the end of the day you living in a confined six foot wide space,
so you've got to be a bit of a, what's the word?
Errr, not ventriloquist.
Contortionist?
Contortionist, that's the one
and sometimes you gotta pass each other,
it's like you're doing the tango isn't it?
It is.
and unlike a railway carriage, the good thing is you can have a bit of friction
when you pass them on a boat anyway.
Oooh Oooh!
But yeah,
living in such confined quarters, you can get on each other's nerves,
because if one of you is in a little bit of a bad mood,
it doesn't take much when you're living in such a tight space
to tip you over the edge, does it?
No it doesn't does it, Colin.
[Laughing]
So get out of the boat,
if you're going to do that, at least give yourself some space.
We have two TV's, so we can separate
Yeah
and watch TV separately and just have a bit of space to ourself.
I can't imagine how a family of four
could live on a boat this size, can you?
[Shaun] Yeah, it won't be four for long will it.
No I can't imagine another two, well I can't,
Well I mean if we were to have another two people on the boat,
one would be Justin Bieber
and the other I think would be Hugh Edwards.
[Laughs]
I like to know what's going on in the world, that's why,
That's bizarre.
He knows that he knows what's going on doesn't he?
Well he does.
[Music playing]
Reason number four,
is not everything's on tap on a boat,
apart from the red wine
Things like electricity and water and gas and coal and diesel and logs,
you've got to make sure you've got enough of all these on the boat
to sustain you,
especially and importantly during the winter months where it's very cold.
Now our water tank carries about 350 litres of water, about 80 gallons
and that will last us about a week, maybe two weeks if we really wanted to,
but it just means short showers,
you can't have a nice long relaxing soak in a hot bath anymore
No.
and I miss that so much.
You've got to get used to really short showers, 30 second showers he has.
30 seconds.
If you were a bit shorter, I'd get you in the sink with a rag.
[In an American accent] I'll wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Ooooh imagine that.
[Laughing]
No actually. You'd look like Albert Steptoe wouldn't you?
[Laughs]
You've got to be careful with your water,
there are water points regularly along the canals
it's sod's load that you run out
when you're in the middle of nowhere on a cold night when the canal's frozen over isn't it?
Yes.
Now the same goes with diesel, we carry about 160 litres,
which is about 35 gallons of diesel
and it's impossible to say how long that lasts, because
it depends how many miles you're doing, if you're using it for heating.
Generally it will last about, well one litre will last about an hour
give or take about half a litre, depends on your engine.
But again you can fill up at marinas and lots of places sell diesel.
Loads of places.
In the winter it's important to make sure you've got enough coal or logs
if you've not got a diesel fired central heating system
and again you'll find that a lot of coal merchants will come and deliver coal.
There's fuel boats that carry coal and logs.
As for gas we use two 13 kilo gas bottles
and there's a bit of a shortage of those at the moment after the pandemic.
Is it as short as me?
It's not quite as short as you.
Just make sure you've got enough of everything,
because as I said, sod's load dictates
that you will run out on a cold night in the middle of nowhere,
where the canal's frozen over and it's not fun to sit on a cold boat with no water.
[Music playing]
Reason number five,
you will hurt your boo-boo.
[Laughs]
There's a saying that you're not a true boater
until you've fallen in the canal at least once.
Now we can't be true boaters because we've not fallen in yet.
Not fully.
Touch wood, not fully.
Like one or two limbs have gone in and some orifices may have got wet,
but we haven't gone in completely.
Are you alright?
[Laughs] Orifices?
Poor old Shaun is always the worst off,
Uff!
He once fell between the towpath and a steel rail and really hurt his boo boo.
That hurt.
He fell out of a kayak,
well you kind of half fell out of a kayak didn't you?
but he went in the water.
I completely fell out of it.
He sliced his head on a stove fan.
I fell off a diving board in Guernsey.
[Laughs]
That weren't you, that was Norman the bread man.
[Laughing]
But you've got to be careful.
It can be a dangerous environment, because once things are wet,
they get slippy
and it's easy to slip, especially around locks and swing bridges
and when you're jumping on and off the boat, so you've got to be careful.
[Music playing]
Reason number six,
Good jog I've got an extra thumb isn't it
He's got three.
is the loneliness,
you would imagine that being out in the open countryside, the solitude, the piece,
would be lovely and don't get me wrong, it really isn't it?
It is.
But sometimes things happen that
can make you feel quite lonely or alone, take for instance last November
when Shaun's Dad died.
Yeah,
Errr,
I felt quite helpless being out in the middle of nowhere,
not being able to get there,
so yeah,
yeah, you feel helpless.
Because you are traveling, you're going to be away from
your inner circle, your friends and your family if you've got any
and when things like that happen
It can be hard.
it can be tough to deal with, because at the time we were in lockdown and
luckily we got permission from the Canal and River Trust to move the boat
closer to family, so that we could at least be near the family
during that bad time.
But at least make sure you've got some
internet or a phone so you can talk to people wherever you are
and just take the edge of it.
[Music playing]
Number seven is all to do with poo!
Uff!
and
I can sum it up really in one sentence,
like my last psychiatrist said to me before he hung up on me and never answered the phone again.
Yeah.
Colin, you need to deal with your own
[Beeeeeep]
[laughs]
You can't say that!
I just did say that.
Now, unless you're gonna kind of go and do it in the woods,
you've got to learn to deal with it yourself,
because a boat hasn't got a sewage system,
you can't just flush it away like you do in a house
or leave it in the woods, in a little pile.
[Laughs]
You can flush it into a holding tank or drop it into a cassette
or into a bucket or a bottle like a separating composting toilet.
Or even burn it there's incinerating toilets nowadays,
There is.
use a lot of energy.
But sooner or later you've got to get rid of the waste.
Who has?
Well, you have
Shaun enjoys playing in the fudge bucket more than I do,
that sounds like a euphemism doesn't it?
That sounds wrong.
I'm not saying anything.
[Laughs]
But I did try it once
Ohhh, Oh my god.
[Retches]
Why do you always have to read something when you're having a poo?
[Laughs]
I don't know.
you do, you do it don't you?
Yes.
I think everybody,
you do it don't you, you read
I mean what did you do before you had a mobile phone,
I used to read the back of the shampoo bottle.
I never go without my phone.
I know all the ingredients to Vosine, even now.
it was Timotei in the last tech wasn't it.
[Laughs]
[Music playing]
Speaking of brown goo,
Ohhh!
number eight is mud.
Oh mud.
Now some of us don't mind getting mucky, in fact Shaun,
no we'll not go there.
Some of us don't mind getting mucky, but
you might be a bit like Hyacinth Bucket,
Bouquet.
Or a bit like Margot from the Good Life.
and you might not get you might not like getting mucky and muddy.
but to be honest,
especially in the winter that's what this life is really all about isn't it?
[Shaun] All about mud.
[Colin] Mud, splashing in,
I'd love a mud bath.
Do you know what I mean, like I don't, is it Turkish bath,
is it or is that something different,
like some,
I don't know, I just read something about a bath house on the internet.
[Laughing]
I don't know, anyway [Laughing]
I'd love to have a mud, not mud though, [Laughing]
I'd like like melted chocolate wouldn't you? [Laughing]
Ohhhhh!
Like a few dozen boxes of Ferrero Rocher and melt them down.
Awwww!
Talking of mud, also by a brown dog.
Yeah,
dogs don't care how mucky and wet and muddy they get,
so if you've got a brand new boat, try not to get white furnishings,
because they ain't gonna last long.
It can get a bit filthy, especially in the winter,
the towpaths can be ankle deep or more in mud.
So make sure you get a good pair of wellies.
[Music playing]
Almost there, number nine,
YAYYYYY!
it's probably one of the most common questions we get asked.
Does it get cold on a narrowboat?
Well,
yeah,
if you've got no coal.
If you've got no heating on, but it would get cold in a house if you've got no heating on.
The difference on a boat is that it's generally,
either hot or cold.
You can't, like in a house where you have like thermostats in rooms
and you kind of regulate the temperature of the house.
You can't really do that in a boat,
it's either the heat's on or it's not.
You have to regulate it with windows.
Yeah, we can be sat in the middle of January where it's blowing an arctic gale outside
and we can be sat in our shorts and t-shirts
on the sofa in front of the stove with the windows and hatches and doors open,
sweating our cobs off, can't we?
Yeah.
So, yeah it's a bit more difficult to regulate,
but it's not cold, it can be very warm
and in the summer it can be very warm as well,
because we can't have air conditioning because it uses too much power.
It never really gets warmer inside than it is outside,
but it can get a bit stuffy inside,
you can take all the windows out and that makes it a bit better.
So how do we keep the boat warm in winter?
Well we've got a diesel-fired central heating system,
which heats the radiators in the towel rail and it heats the water in the winter too,
but we also have a solid fuel stove which we can you burn either coal,
well it's more like smokeless briquettes.
Yes.
Didn't they used to dance at Radio City Music Hall in New York?
The Briquettes
Briquettes?
Frilly skirts and the high heels and the big kicks and that.
They did didn't they?
I don't think they were called Briquettes.
So the dancing briquettes or seasoned logs, we've burned season logs
and they smell nicer yes than the briquettes,
the briquettes tend to make the boat a bit dusty.
Yeah.
But yeah, does it get cold on a narrowboat?
Well no, but keep the fire going.
[Laughs]
[Music playing]
Finally, number ten,
WoooHooo!
if we haven't already put you off,
is,
it's not really for the gormless.
[Laughs]
Well it's not is it?
No.
you've got to have your wits about you to be a boater,
because there's a lot of things to remember.
You've got to be considerate slow down when you go past other boats.
Moor up securely so that those that don't slow down don't pull your pins out.
[Shaun] Yes
Be considerate of lock's, wait until another boater is coming,
don't waste water.
Check your batteries in your smoke detectors and your carbon monoxide detectors,
make sure you've got enough fuel and water and diesel and gas and coal
and shopping and food.
There's all sorts of things and you've got to have your wits about you to be a boater.
So if you're a little bit gormless,
Why does he always point at me.
you might need a bit of help
[Laughs]
[Music playing]
There you go, 10 reasons why you shouldn't
live on a narrowboat, if you're a sensitive soul like me.
But there are loads more reasons why you should
and in the next episode we'll give you 10 reasons
why you absolutely should live on a narrowboat.
YAYY!
It's such an amazing experience
and we'll go more into that next week.
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there's a link up above Shaun's head,
Ooooh!
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I hope we've given you something to think about,
because next week we'll give you even more to think about.
See you then bye-bye.
Ta-ra.
It's gonna raaaaaiin, it's gonna raaaaaiin.
It's raining.
So we're gonna balance it out.
That bit won't be it [Laughs]
He always cuts me out.
because as soon as you put a boat in water,
a boat comes the other way [Laughs]
I've completely forgot where I'm going.
I've forgotten, I've forgotten.
Things like. . .
Arrgghh!
He says let's do all this in one take.
Electric, gas, diesel,
what else?
Water!
[Laughs]
That's just complete [Beeeeep]
You can't say that!
[Laughs]
You alright there?
I got something in my eye.
Errr, your finger.
I knew I was gonna [Beeep] that one up.
Arrgghhh!
You can't say that.
Have I got toast on me?
Nope
[Music playing]