Why do men cheat? Why did he do it?
In today's video, I'm going to explain the exact factors that are involved
when a man cheats and how you can prevent it from happening to you in the future.
Stay tuned.
[Music]
A question that women come to me constantly with is, why did it happen?
Why did he go off and do something stupid? Why did he go off to this other girl?
What caused him to cheat?
Well, what I want to do today is explain the factors behind cheating.
And the reality with cheating is there's no one single factor that leads to it.
It's a combination of five different factors that can all contribute in their own ways
to a man cheating or staying loyal. I want to explain those factors for you today,
and in today's video, I'm going to give you a real overview as to how those factors
come together to lead to a man, either cheating or staying loyal.
Now in subsequent videos, what I want to do for you is explain these
factors in more detail. So I'm going to make this into a little six part series.
And in each of those followup videos, I'm going to explain these factors on an individual
level and how you can help with some of them. You can't control all of them, but there are
some way you can play a part to minimize the chance and to make it virtually zero once
you understand the factors, once you know how to choose the right man of infidelity
ever happening to you. So the first factor that's involved in a man cheating is the most
important one and it's unmet needs.
Now, cheating never happens when someone is getting all their needs in every area.
Now, some of those needs may be subconscious, so this could be
someone who thinks they're getting all their needs and then still finds themselves cheating.
So unmet needs. What would be an example of an unmet need? Well, if a man feels emasculated,
that could be an example of an unmet need. Ah, if a man isn't feeling the excitement
or passion that he wants, that could be an example of an unmet need. He might not have
the self esteem. That's an example of an unmet need that you can't control. Ah, he might
say be feeling unloved or appreciated. He might feel insecure. There's lots of reasons
that men will cheat due to an unmet need in a relationship, and some of these you can
control, and some you can't. In the followup video, I'm going to go into these unmet needs
and the ones that you can control and how you can make sure that your man in the relationship
has those. Now, I want you to remember here as well. This is never an excuse for cheating.
I'm not excusing cheating one little bit, but there are reasons.
The better you can understand
these reasons, the more you'll be able to prevent it in your relationships.
So there's always some sort of unmet need on a conscious or subconscious level.
The second is his fear of loss. So his fear of being single is what it essentially amounts to.
You see, when a man has an unmet need, he always has the option to leave the relationship
or communicate about it.
And if communication fails, he always has the option to leave the relationship.
But fear affects men a lot more than what most women think it does.
A lot of men have a real fear of being alone. I've had players straight up tell me,
guys who were cheating on their girlfriends, I've had them straight up tell me
I'm not going to leave my girlfriend because I'm scared to be alone.
It sucks, right? It's pathetic behavior, but it's better to be aware of it
and know that it happens. A guy's fear of loss. How scared he is of being single
will contribute to the chance that he will cheat. Because if he has a big unmet need,
but he's not afraid to be single, the guy's going to talk about it and
then walk away from a relationship before he cheats.
So the third factor that's involved is probably going to surprise you.
It's his genetics and his upbringing.
There is a massive genetic component to monogamy. People always ask me,
Mark, do you think humans are naturally monogamous?
There's no answer to that. There's no, yes, there's no, no.
There's no, men aren't monogamous, but women are. It's a fluid concept.
The fact is some people are more monogamous, some people are less,
and there is a big genetic component to monogamy. The book by Helen Fisher,
uh, it's called Why We Love. It's a fantastic book.
And if you're interested in this area, I strongly recommend it.
I'm going to talk more about the genetics and upbringing component in the following video,
but essentially, some people are genetically more monogamous than others
and their upbringing affects it too.
Epigenetics is a concept where your genes will change based on your upbringing
and certain genes get turned on and off. So the way they were brought up, risk factors
like substance abuse in the house, risk factors like single parenthood or double parenthood,
all these things will change epigenetics. And on an aggregate level, on a generalized
level will affect a man's risk of cheating.
So the fourth factor is his values. Some men have a really high value for monogamy.
They believe in it. Perhaps they were, had a church
style upbringing and they really, really value that highly.
Other men don't believe in monogamy at all.
It's just not their thing. This is different to their genetics and their upbringing.
This is their conscious values and this is the things that they really hold important.
For example, let's say that a man has a huge value for monogamy and hugely is genetically
monogamous. Well, if that guy has an unmet need, he's probably not going to cheat compared
to the player who doesn't value those things as much.
And the final factor involved is the impulsiveness of his character.
Very few people who set out to cheat, plan to cheat that day.
There's some who do by all means, but most do it on an impulse and they will be
the first ones to admit that it was freaking stupid after they've done it.
Cheating often comes from impulsive personalities and impulsive characters,
so the more impulsive a man is, the higher risk factor in that way. With that being said,
I've tended to be with impulsive people. I know lots of women who are with impulsive
men who have never cheated.
The unmet needs aren't there, maybe they don't mind leaving, or maybe they just have a really
high value on monogamy. Impulsiveness alone does not mean a man will cheat, but it is
a risk factor involved and an important one. So those are the five factors and the different
way these add up together is going to affect a man's chance of cheating.
For example, let's say that a guy has a somewhat high unmet need,
but a very high fear of loss. He mostly values monogamy and he,
he mostly has the genetics towards monogamy and he's a middling, impulsive
character. Well, he's fear of loss is high, so he's not going to leave the relationship.
He might communicate about it, but let's say that that doesn't come through for him and
that he's not getting that need met, he's still going to be too scared to leave, even
though he has a mid range value from monogamy,
that unmet needs can increase and increase
and eventually he gets himself into an impulsive situation.
Maybe he gets drunk, again, not an excuse but a reason, and he does something stupid
and cheats. Let's take maybe a different example where the guy does have a middling range unmet
need, but it's fear of loss isn't that high. He values monogamy, he's genetically more
monogamous and he's not such an impulsive character. Well, that guy's unmet need could
get quite high, but he's probably not going to cheat. He values monogamy too much and
he's not afraid to leave the relationship if it comes to it. That guy's at a low risk
of cheating. Take the player. The player may not have a big unmet need at all. He might
have a little bit of fear of leaving, but he might just have no value at all on monogamy
and no genetics towards monogamy. No belief in it. By the way, if you want to know how
a man, if a man values monogamy and how he values it, ask him if he's ever cheated in
his relationships. That can be a clue.
Ask him if he believes humans are naturally monogamous.
That's a big clue, and ask him if he believes loyal marriages and relationships exist.
So if you want to know that fourth factor,
if you want to know about how a guy values monogamy,
that's a way to find out about that risk factor.
But you know as I was saying, that player might be really impulsive, and so he doesn't
have a big unmet need. He may not even have a giant fear of leaving the relationship,
but he has no real value on monogamy and he's pretty impulsive so that guy cheats. In the
next video, I'm going to go through into each of these factors and the unmet needs is an
important one because that's the one where you can have some influence and there are
certainly things you can do to make sure that your man is happy and getting his needs met
as much as you can, as much as in your ability to minimize the chances of infidelity in a
relationship.
Again, this isn't an excuse but it is a reason you would want your man to make sure that
your needs are being met in the relationship as well. Not to necessarily even avoid you
cheating, but just to show his love for you. So that gives you a wrap as to the factors
involved. You can see some of those factors. Unmet needs, for example, choosing a man who
values monogamy, you can have an influence on. Other factors that just out of your control
of his fear of loss is way too high and he's not willing to confront it. If he's not geared
to that way with his genetics and he's a very impulsive character,
then there's not much you can do.
So these are the factors that contribute and I really look forward to the
followup videos where I'm going to explain each of these so that you can understand them
and the better you can understand them, the more you can minimize and make virtually zero
by picking the right man and knowing the causes infidelity in your relationships in the future.
This is Mark from Make Him Yours. I really hope you enjoyed the video. Make sure you
subscribe. Keep an eye out for the follow-up videos to this one. Make sure you subscribe.
Once the follow-up videos are out, the links will be in the description. Uh hit the little
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