(silence)
- (FBE) So a big thing subscribers have been asking us
to have you all react to,
and something that's become popular on YouTube,
is reading types of text messages.
- Reading texts. I've never heard of that, ever.
- I've seen those-- I mean, not on YouTube,
but on Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr.
- (FBE) We may do more episodes like this if the fans enjoy it,
so for today, we'll be having you read
through ten different savage break-up text conversations
- Yes! I love this.
- Oh man. All right, let's get into this.
- This is what I do when I'm up at 11:30 at night,
just kind of scrolling through.
- I'm excited because I live for drama.
- "Knock knock."
All right, let's see where this is going.
- "Who's there, babe?"
Bro, these aren't even real though, I feel like.
Like, look at it-- he's got just "girlfriend" as her name.
- "Single."
"Single who?"
- "Single who?"
Oh god.
"Single you!" (laughing)
- "Real funny, babe."
No, seriously.
Oh, I was going to say-- I was close.
"Not a joke.
Just didn't want it to be too harsh on you."
(laughing)
- "Fucking heartless"-- I don't know what the last word could be,
but whatever.
Oh, that's it? That's it?
That wasn't that bad.
- If I was the person getting broken up with,
I wouldn't even know how to react to that.
- "Not a joke.
Didn't want to be too harsh on you."
I mean, that's still pretty harsh.
Like, you're breaking up with them via text message.
No matter what you say, it's going to be kind of terrible.
- I feel bad for the girl, but, I mean...
you can't really blame the guy because he was going to break up with her
in one way or another.
So, I mean, at least-- you know, why not be creative?
- If you're going to screenshot your breakup
and post it on social media, like, make it good.
You know, like... that was a knock knock joke, dude.
Like, what the hell?
- "I want us to be like Selena and Justin."
Doesn't everyone?
Wait... they're broken up.
- "Babe, they broke up."
"Okay, fine. Seal and Heidi."
(whispering) They broke up!
- "Uhhh, they split too."
I'm not going to lie.
Like, I wouldn't know, "Oh, okay, cool. That's cool.
Like, what do you want us to be like?"
- "Jesus, okay, fine! Britney and Justin."
I don't even know who that is.
"They split, like, ten years ago!"
Okay, that's probably why I don't know.
- "Obviously, you're not catching on.
It's over."
That's a good one! I like it.
- I'm basically the white text.
That's so me. Like, totally dense.
Not really getting the hint.
- It's just sad.
Why can't people just break up with people normally?
They all have to do it for the Twitter memes.
- "ILY."
- "I love you."
"Can you please spell it out?
It makes everything more special."
- It's not going to be "I love you."
Watch, it's going to be, like, "I'm leaving you."
Boom! Dude, I called it.
- "I'm leaving you!"
No! Oh my god, I wasn't expecting--
(gasping)
- Oh snap! (gasping)
Ohhhh ho ho!
That came out of nowhere.
Like, the RKO.
- Oh, well, that was it.
(laughing) All right, that was short.
Short and to the point.
- "Jason, be warned, I'm dumping you when I get home tonight."
- "Fine with me.
I was just thinking we could use some time apart."
- "What the fuck, Jenna?!
I meant autocorrected.
I meant to write jumping on you, not dumping you."
(gasping)
"And now you're telling me you want to break up?"
"Well, this is awkward."
Oh no!
- You really should turn autocorrect off, Jason.
Like, what are you doing, bro?
Like, no one uses that anymore.
- That was an accident, so from one to ten,
I'm going to have to give that a two.
- It's easy to look at it and be like, oh, this funny,
but then it's like if this actually happened to you
or one of your friends, it'd be like... oh wow.
- "Baby, please don't do this.
You have no idea how important you are to me."
Don't do what?
- "I gave you way too many chances.
I'm done."
Okay, where is this going?
- "I'll do anything!"
"Forget it, all right? We're octagon."
Me too! I love being octagon.
"LOL. I meant 'over.'
That was funny but I'm still breaking up with you."
- I feel so bad for Isaiah.
- That was more funny because she's like, yeah,
it's already in his face and she just slapped him again.
So that one was worse.
She doesn't care. She's already moved on.
- Don't break up with people over text.
If I were to, that'd be something I would probably do,
like octagon and be like, "Ha ha ha. That was kind of funny.
But we're still over!"
- "Hey, babe, where are you right now?"
Ooh, it's just "babe."
(tsking) See, no emojis.
That's when you know it's going to be bad.
- "Oh, just get ready for bed.
I'm beat-- spent all day on college work,
resting and texting you now.
Where are you?"
- "Standing behind you at the bar, asshole.
Who is the guy you were making out with?"
Shit! Aaah, get rekt.
Pew! Pew! Pew!
- I like how her response is just "Shit!"
Not even like, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me." It's just "Shit."
- "We're over, bitch."
I mean, yeah, that's appropriate.
- Why was he at the bar, you know?
He was probably trying to pick up ladies low key.
And then he was like, "Damn, who is that fine mama over there?"
And it was his girlfriend.
It was Babe the whole time.
Wow.
If you really look into this stuff, it gets super deep.
- Honesty, it's what relationships are built off of--
unless you don't get caught!
- "Girlfriend."
Heart emojis, three of them.
Boy and girl emoji.
Time-- oh, okay, it's going to be an emoji story.
- Time-- oh gosh, it's going to be broken hearts, isn't it?
- Waving emoji, which I'm assuming is waving goodbye.
Running emoji! (laughing)
- "Did you just break up with me?"
That's me!
The emojis, that's all me right there.
Yep. (laughing)
- The shades. (laughing) The shades.
That's such a good one.
- Using emojis is not direct.
I just don't feel like it has a big of an impact
on the person than if you were to say an actual joke with words.
- This is stupid, dude! These are so stupid.
I wouldn't care if someone sent me this.
If that's how you want to do it, she ain't worth your time anyway.
- "Ashley, you need to move on and forget me."
- "How am I supposed to forget YOUR when every time I go outside,
I see things that remind me of you."
- "Like garbage bins and dog shit."
Wow!
- Dang, that's like-- it's like you're reading it,
it's really sweet, and then it's like, "Nah, replace!"
- I've used this before. It's good.
- People, get the grammar and spelling correct
and your partner won't break up with you, all right?
- Ashley just got roasted, dude.
Like, this dude's a savage.
See, there we go, you know?
Like, that was a roast.
Like, that would hurt her feelings low key.
That's what I want.
- "I don't care that you cheated on me.
I fucked your best friend anyway, so ha!"
That's it. That should be it.
- "Okay, that's a lie.
He's in Wales for two weeks."
- "Two, I didn't cheat on you.
The perfume you smelt in my house was my mom's.
And three, 'you are.'"
That is the best one yet!
I think it's so funny when people correct "your" and "you are."
- "Oh, I'm sorry, babe.
I was just sad I hadn't seen you for to weeks.
I'm still you're"-- (groaning) that's the wrong your.
"...you're girl."
- This girl's an idiot! Oh my god.
This is one of my-- I know I'm not even done yet,
but this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
First of all, "two"-- number two! T-W-O!
Like, ugh!
And then this, it's the wrong one now.
It's not "you are girl."
- This is messing with my brain.
Her terrible grammar and spelling,
man, I would break up with her too.
Not going to lie.
- "Okay, one, you're pathetic, making ish up.
Two, 'baby'"-- me. (laughing)
"Three, 'your'"-- me. (laughing)
"Four, 'two,' and five, you're not my girl anymore."
Dang!
- Dude, this girl is just all bad.
I thought it was the guy because it's usually the guy doing all bad
but, no, it's the girl, dude.
You go to leave, bro.
If you're getting cheated on, you got to go.
- "Oh fuck you!"
- "Okay, number one, I have fucked you many times.
Number two, I wouldn't fuck you again anyways.
Number three, 'you.'"
He is so funny!
- This is amazing because this guy is actually me.
Like, I totally would do this.
- "Hey."
This is already starting bad.
There's no multiple Y's. It's only one.
- "Noo" with two O's.
"What?"
- "Stop textingggg me!"
- "I thought you loved me."
- "I want to do bad things to you."
Like a little devil face.
- "Oh really? Like what?"
- "Murder your family. Don't text me again."
All right, that's just a little scary.
- The "murdering the family," just a little bit too far.
- Don't say that! That's weird.
That's not even savage. That's just creepy.
- That's great.
When there's a guy creeping on you like that, you know,
get him all excited.
In between the "Ooh, really? Like what?"
just type for a really long time so he sees the three dots
and he's just like... YEAH!
And then you send that and it's like-- it's great.
It's fantastic.
- These were really good.
They're a very entertaining read.
- I probably wouldn't say the majority of those things
because I would feel too bad.
But they were good.
Props to those people.
- I want to read these texts and I want to go, "No!"
I want my mind to be blown.
If someone cheated on you, roast 'em up.
But these are just normal breakups and it's like,
I just don't see the point.
- I've never been broken up with text,
but I would never break up with someone over text,
and if I ever got a break up through text, I'd just be like,
you're not doing this over text.
Like, if you're going to break with me, do it in person
or I'm going to literally murder you.
♪ (Psycho music) ♪
- Thank you guys so much for watching.
- Don't miss out. Subscribe.
- Comment below what type of text messages we should do next.
- Bye.
- Hey, guys, I'm Zach, a producer at the React channel.
What other text message-- (text alert)
Uh... speaking of text messages, just got one.
Sorry, one second.
(tsking) From my girlfriend.
Ah... and I'm single.