♪ ♪
♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME BACK.
BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON
BATISTE.
HEY, JON.
>> Jon: WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I FOUND A COURT.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
>> Jon: WE GOT TO PLAY HORSE.
>> Stephen: GET READY.
I'M GOING TO ROCK YOUR WORLD.
I'M GOING TO SURPRISE YOU.
YOU'RE GOING TO GO, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!
>> Jon: WHO DO YOU PLAY YOUR GAME AFTER.
>> Stephen: ALEX ENGLISH.
BACK IN THE 70s, THE BIG BASKETBALL DYNASTY WITH COACH
McGUIRE BACK IN THE 1970s.
WHO DO YOU MODEL YOURSELF AFTER?
>> Jon: I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE TO SAY MAGIC JOHNSON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> Jon: I LOVE HOW HE'S SMILING ALL THE TIME WHILE HE'S
PLAYING.
>> WOULD YOU CARE TO SHARE ANY MUSIC WITH US.
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO DO SO, BUT IF YOU
FELT LIKE IT.
♪ ♪
♪ >> Stephen: TECO TECO?
>> Jon: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!
>> Stephen: THAT WILL GET YOU IN A GOOD MOOD, NO MATTER WHAT.
>> Jon: LET'S LIFT IT UP.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> Stephen: SEE YOU LATER, MY FRIEND.
FOLKS, MY GUEST TOMORROW NIGHT, FORMER NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR
JOHN BOLTON'S BOOK IS GETTING SO MUCH ATTENTION I HAVEN'T EVEN
GOTTEN TO MENTION A CONTROVERSIAL NEW BOOK BY
ANOTHER ONE OF THE PRESIDENT'S ADVERSARIES, MELANIA TRUMP.
WASHINGTON POST REPORTER MARY JORDAN'S UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY,
"THE ART OF HER DEAL" IS MAKING HEADLINES FOR SOME BOLD
REVELATIONS ABOUT THE FIRST LADY.
FOR EXAMPLE, AFTER THE INAUGURATION, RATHER THAN MOVING
INTO THE WHITE HOUSE, MELANIA STAYED IN NEW YORK, USING THE
MOVE AS LEVERAGE TO RENEGOTIATE HER PRENUP.
SPECIFICALLY, "SHE WANTED PROOF IN WRITING THAT WHEN IT CAME TO
FINANCIAL OPPORTUNITIES AND INHERITANCE, BARRON WOULD BE
TREATED AS MORE OF AN EQUAL TO TRUMP'S OLDEST THREE CHILDREN."
YOU KNOW YOU GOT A BAD DEAL WHEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT TO BE EQUAL
WITH ERIC TRUMP.
THE BOOK ALSO CLAIMS THAT, WITH MELANIA ABSENT, IVANKA TRUMP
MOVED TO GRAB AS MUCH POWER AS SHE COULD AND EVEN SUGGESTED
RENAMING THE "FIRST LADY'S OFFICE" TO THE "FIRST FAMILY
OFFICE."
ALSO RENAMING THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, "IVANKA'S BOOK CLUB."
AND THINGS SEEM A LITTLE TENSE FOR THE FIRST COUPLE RIGHT NOW.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS RECENT APPEARANCE TOGETHER.
WHERE THE PRESIDENT SEEMS TO ASK THE FIRST LADY TO SMILE AND SHE
REACTS WITH...WHATEVER THIS IS.
WOW.
IF LOOKS COULD KILL, THE SECRET SERVICE WOULD'VE WRESTLED HER TO
THE GROUND.
OF COURSE, WHENEVER ONE OF THESE UNAUTHORIZED BOOKS IS RELEASED,
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW HOW MUCH IS TRUE.
SO HERE TO TELL US HOW MUCH IS TRUE, IS THE FIRST LADY OF THE
UNITED STATES, MELANIA TRUMP.
>> HELLO, STEPHEN!
>> Stephen: MADAM FIRST LADY, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
>> OH, YES.
I HAVE BEEN KEEPING OUT TO HAVE THE PUBLIC EYE.
BUT DURING DIFFICULT TIMES, AMERICA NEEDS THE FIRST LADY'S
WARM, COMFORTING PRESENCE.
>> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT?
ARE YOU OKAY?
>> OH, YES, STEPHEN, OF COURSE I'M OKAY.
CAN'T YOU TELL BY MY SMILE?
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
SURE, I CAUGHT THAT ONE.
SO HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON RIGHT NOW?
>> OH, STEPHEN.
STEPHEN, THESE PROTESTERS ARE FRIGHTENING.
EVERY DAY, THEY TEAR DOWN ANOTHER COLD, LIFELESS MONUMENT
TO WHITE SUPREMACY, I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY, AM I NEXT?
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, MADAM FIRST LADY, CAN I ASK WHERE YOU
ARE NOW?
>> I'M QUARANTINED IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION TO AVOID
THE VIRUS WHICH IS MY NICKNAME FOR IVANKA TRUMP.
OH!
>> Stephen: I'M GLAD YOU'RE KEEPING SOCIALLY DISTANCED AT
LEAST.
>> IT IS AS EMPTY AS A TRUMP RALLY IN HERE!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HUSBAND'S PERFORMANCE IN TULSA
SATURDAY NIGHT?
>> LIKE HIS PERFORMANCE EVERY NIGHT, WAY SMALLER THAN
PROMISED, AND EVERYONE INVOLVED SHOULD GET TESTED.
>> Stephen: SOUNDS WISE.
SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS NEW BIOGRAPHY ABOUT YOU, MA'AM?
>> OH, THIS BOOK!
DON'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ.
THIS BOOK MAKES ME OUT TO BE A RUTHLESS, COLD-HEARTED
MANIPULATOR WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT I WANT, BUT
IT'S ALSO FULL OF LIES!
>> Stephen: LET'S GET INTO SOME OF THE ALLEGATIONS, MA'AM.
ACCORDING TO YOUR BOOK, AFTER YOUR HUSBAND WON THE ELECTION,
YOU RENEGOTIATED THE PRENUMB.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> TOTALLY FALSE.
I HOPE ONE DAY TO NEGOTIATE A POST-NUP.
>> Stephen: AFTER YOU FINALLY MOVED IN, THERE HAD TO BE A
PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT BECAUSE THE BOOK SAID YOU WERE UNCOMFORTABLE
WITH THE TITLE FIRST LADY AND YOU ASKED THEMPEOPLE NOT THE
CALL YOU THAT.
>> I KNOW MY HUSBAND, STEPHEN, IF YOU GIVE HIM A FIRST LADY, HE
WANTS A SECOND LADY AND A THIRD LADY.
IT'S GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE SITUATION.
>> Stephen: THE BOOK CLAIMS YOU EXAGGERATED ACHIEVEMENTS
LIKE GETTING AN ARCHITECTURE DEGREE OR KNOWING FIVE
LANGUAGES, IS THAT TRUE?
>> NO.
THAT'S SPANISH FOR NO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE BOOK WOULD MAKE ACCUSATIONS AGAINST ME, A
PHYSICISTS WHO STORMED NORMANDY AND PULLED BABY JESSICA AUDIT OF
THAT WELL!
>> Stephen: THE BOOK ACCUSES YOU OF LEVERAGING POWER AGAINST
THE PRESIDENT.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> I'M ONLY HERE TO HELP MY HUSBAND.
WHEN HE SAYS, HEY, TAKE A PICTURE WITH ME, OR I'M STUCK IN
A CHAIR AGAIN, AND I ALWAYS POLITELY AGREE WITH THE TEN
MAGIC WORDS.
>> Stephen: WHAT ARE THOSE?
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO US A FAVOR.
>> Stephen: THAT MAKES SENSE.
THE BOOK SHOWS YOU AS BEING A HELPLESS VICTIM OF DONALD TRUMP.
>> IN SLOVENIA, WE HAVE A SAYING APPEAR WEAK WHEN YOU ARE STRONG,
STRONG WHEN YOU ARE WEAK AND KEEP COPIES OF YOUR TAX RETURNS
ON YOUR PERSON AT ALL TIMES.
>> Stephen: FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, EVERYBODY!
>> ACTIVATE SMILE.
>> STEPHEN: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JAMES CORDEN.