Almost many things teach us how to love but nobody has ever taught how to undo the love.
The idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life.
In every way two people can do better than one person. That is the idea.
Superscript: How to UnLove? Sadhguru on Heartbreaks
Moderator: So moving on, my question is very relatable to the audience as well.
Heartbreak is something that I think that…
Sadhguru: Hey, who broke your heart (Laughter)?
Moderator: So heartbreak is something that almost everybody goes through and specially…
Sadhguru: Oh really (Laughs)?
Moderator: At some point of their time and... (Laughs)
I remember in fact, my teacher once telling me that
it is at your time you love, you break, and you learn to love again and again and again.
Sadhguru: Who is this teacher, hmm (Laughter)?
Moderator: Sorry?
Sadhguru: Who is this teacher (Laughter)?
Moderator: That’s a top secret (Laughs).
And the beauty of it is that you fall in love again and you break
but then it always ends up healing you again.
This…
I wonder Sadhguru, everybody teaches us how to love, movies, poems…
Sadhguru: Really?
Moderator: Bollywood…
Sadhguru: If you do the things that they are doing in the movie, nobody will love you (Laughter).
Moderator: Literature.
Almost many things teach us how to love but nobody has ever taught how to undo the love.
Sadhguru: See about breaking hearts,
I don't have a broken heart because I gave away my heart very early on in my life,
so nobody can break it, you know? I gave it away, tch.
You should do that, then nobody can break it.
See, we must understand this.
What is a love affair?
Is it okay, mechanics of love affair? We can look at it? I'm not trying to de-romanticize everything.
It’s just this.
Let's say you are ten years of age.
You looked around, the world was quite normal.
Hello?
Was it normal when you were ten, twelve?
It was normal.
I'm not picking on you because you are in the first row, okay (Laughter)?
See, it was looking quite normal, suddenly after some time, you got little poisoned, chemically poisoned.
Then you looked.
Every little bump on somebody’s body looks like a world by itself.
Hello?
Till then everything was okay. Isn't it?
You are ten, twelve, it's okay.
You became thirteen and you looked like this (Gestures), suddenly this is a world by itself.
The neighborhood’s scrawny girl who didn't mean a damn thing to you, suddenly
she is the focus, she is the a… apple of your eye (Laughter).
Yes (Laughs)?
So this is because your intelligence has been hijacked by your hormones, tch.
So it is making funny things happen.
It is making you believe all kinds of things.
When you look back and see you will feel stupid, but it's okay.
There's nothing wrong about it.
But it's very important that we understand what's happening to us.
Otherwise we will do st… idiotic things that we may regret later, you know?
It is not a question of morality.
It is a question of handling our life sensibly.
This serial heart-break business
can leave you paranoid about anything, about bonding with anybody in your life.
Yes or no? Hmm?
You have serial heart-breaks, it will look like fun for some time.
After some time, you just don't actually trust anybody in your life,
because another human being is a problem always, tch.
Only when our emotions allow you to cross that problem, in some way they get included.
But if we have serial heart-breaks, we will never allow our emotions to cross those barriers,
we will always be cautious.
Because anyway, this is come with a… what… expiry date. Hmm?
When people come with an expiry date… yes, there is an expiry date for all of us,
but relationships, the idea of building relationships is that it's of support in all levels of life.
So that two people, that means two brains and two bodies can do better than one, in many ways.
In various aspects of life – in profession, in domestic situation, in life, in companionship,
in emotion, in arranging and organizing our lives, in every way
two people can do better than one person.
That is the idea.
And of course, nature is pushing us together.
Because nature doesn't care about your love affair, it just wants you to reproduce.
Yes.
You think mother nature is worried whether you love or you don't love?
It wants you to reproduce.
But we’ve overdone that a little bit.
There's no hurry, we don't have to yield to that.
Hello? Yes (Laughter).
If you were a tiger, I would encourage you, “Please reproduce, reproduce,”
because it's an endangered species.
Human beings definitely not endangered, we are endangering everything (Laughter).
So reproduction is not the purpose right now.
We have kept it aside but nature's push is towards that.
But we have emotional needs, physical needs, psychological needs,
maybe financial and social needs, variety of needs.
To conduct these needs in a dignified way,
to conduct these needs in a…
see, once you come as a human being, you can do things...
though they are the same things what the animals do.
But we would like to do it more gracefully, consciously.
Whether we eat, or we copulate, or we sleep, we like to do it little more aesthetically right.
That's the important thing.
For that we need the cooperation of another person who is also somehow congruent to us.
Every two days if you have heartbreaks and going on,
well, you will see the trouble of that (Laughs).