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all right so any respectable picnic
should have at least two dishes made
with mayonnaise
and mayonnaise is always better when you
make it yourself so we are combining two
large eggs
the juice of one half of one lemon about
two tablespoons
one teaspoon dijon mustard and a hefty
pinch of kosher salt in a large blender
cup
larger than the head of our immersion
blender we're gonna blend those together
until they are
blended and then slowly stream two cups
of neutral oil like vegetable oil or
canola down the side
so that it settles atop the egg in a
distinct layer this is going to help us
emulsify it into a thick
creamy mayo now we're gonna plunge our
immersion blender down into the
depths of the mixture and blend on high
speed sort of bobbing the immersion
blender up and down
slowly incorporating the oil until you
have a big old jar of mayonnaise
so good you're going to want to lick it
like an ice cream cone
sort of maybe if you're me even if you
don't eat it straight it's going to make
an amazing base for a number of dishes
first of which
is pasta salad my favorite pasta salad
uses orakieti which we're going to boil
in heavily salted water until al dente
drain and rinse in cold water meanwhile
we've got a number of vegetal
accompaniments
a few peppadew peppers finely chopped
four large carrots peeled and chopped
one rib celery finely chopped the greens
and whites of two scallions and about
two tablespoons each of fresh chopped
dill and parsley we're scooping all that
up and placing it in a big old bowl and
with it we're gonna sort of make a
dressing before we add our pasta one
half cup of our homemade mayo one
quarter cup of sour cream which i find
brings a nice
sour cream like flavor two teaspoons of
dijon mustard
half teaspoon of garlic powder and of
course kosher salt and freshly ground
black pepper to taste then we're gonna
grab our pasta which is cooled
completely because we rinsed it in cold
water remember make sure that it's
thoroughly drained add it to our
dressing and mix
until thoroughly combined this can make
for a light flavorful crisp pasta salad
that isn't swimming in mayo and can be
made ahead of time covered and
refrigerated and is arguably better once
the flavors have been allowed to get to
know each other next up some eggs comma
deviled first up we need some
hard-boiled eggs which we're going to
accomplish by placing eight
large eggs in an empty stockpot let's
double check one two three four five six
seven eight that's eight eggs which
we're going to cook sort of like
potatoes so we're gonna cover them with
cold water bring the whole affair to a
boil
kill the heat as soon as it boils cover
and let rest for 12 minutes
once 12 minutes have elapsed these guys
are ready for an ice bath this is both
going to stop the eggs from cooking and
make them cool enough to peel with our
delicate human hands
once those have cooled for about 10
minutes we're going to take them over to
the sink where we're going to peel them
under running water once peeled we're
ready to slice them in half and bedevil
them so just cut them in half lengthwise
and once everybody has been bisected we
need to start digging out the yolks into
a separate bowl
upon this rock we shall build our
deviled egg filling to the yolks we're
adding a quarter cup of our homemade
mayo one and a half teaspoons of dijon
mustard this mustard sure is getting a
lot of mileage today
a few dashes of hot sauce and a little
sprinkle or about a quarter teaspoon of
smoked paprika then using either a tiny
whisk or if you give up on the tiny
whisk a fork we want to get this into as
smooth a mixture as possible
seasoning generously and early on with
kosher salt and freshly ground pepper i
found that initially a fork works best
and then switch back to a tiny whisk
when it's time to get it smooth
and then for perfect picnicking i like
to keep the filling and the egg whites
separate
opting to fill them instead on site so
you don't have gross
squished deviled eggs keep those in an
airtight container and fridge
until ready to use and just to maximize
bad breath potential i like to serve
deviled eggs with pickled onions
so in a small saucepan we are combining
one cup of vinegar half a cup of water
one teaspoon kosher salt and three
tablespoons of sugar tiny whisking and
bringing to
a boil then we are cutting a large red
onion in half and slicing into thin
half rings and then stuffing these
onions into a heat-proof
travel perfect container like a mason
jar really stuff them in there grab your
boiling pickling liquid and pour over
top
allow to cool completely refrigerate
even and you've got yourself some quick
pickled onions just make sure this
picnic isn't a first date otherwise it
might also be a last date
next up the main course a massive
muffaletta which requires a delicious
olive salad
so in a small food processor we are
combining quarter cup each parsley
leaves and roasted red peppers
three quarters of cup of mixed pitted
olives a half cup of giardiniera which
is a mixture of italian pickled
vegetables
one tablespoon capers drained of their
liquid and one or two cloves of fresh
garlic roughly chopped this is just to
make the food processor's life a little
easier
cover it up and pulse it repeatedly
until it is a spreadable almost
salsa-like mixture and is the secret
ingredient of the world's greatest
sandwich
this can be prepared ahead of time
covered and fridged until ready to
assemble which we're ready to do now we
have a large
loaf of ciabatta definitely not
traditional for a muffaletta but the
closest equivalent that you're gonna be
able to get in your grocery store which
we're gonna very very carefully cut in
half come on andy we only got one shot
at this
not too bad and start layering with many
many many many meats
so prasada salami capicola and my
personal favorite mortadella and then
about an equal amount of two different
kinds of cheese
provolone and swiss then we're piling
the sky tall and proud with every morsel
of our olive salad spread it around nice
and even and before we sandwich it up
we're gonna treat our top half of the
bread with a couple glugs of red wine
vinegar extra virgin olive oil and a few
shakes of oregano just in case this
sandwich wasn't flavorful or
messy enough top it up squish it down
and there you have it a not so
traditional but oh so delicious
buffaletta this guy can be cut into
quarters
eighths sixteenths depending on how much
you value your health and is home to the
greatest cross section this side of the
mississippi delta you might even want to
consider making this a shooter sandwich
or one of those sandwiches that you
weigh down
overnight because it's pretty hard to
wrap and paper but eventually we'll just
give up and
wrap it up as best we can and prepare it
for our picnic we've prepared a bunch of
heavy
savory dishes now we need something
lighter and sweeter i propose what i
call a watermelon mojito salad slice
remove the rind and chop into bite-sized
cubes a whole
seedless watermelon add a solid quarter
cup of chopped fresh mint
to taste then we're going to add the
squeezed juice of three fresh
juices limes and then if you're feeling
naughty a quarter cup of dark rum or
anejo tequila sure that's not a lot of
booze but we'll pretend that it's hard
not a little secret give everybody a
toss together add a little pinch of
kosher salt if that's your bag
and get ready for the easiest most
refreshing and tasty side dish you've
ever tried
speaking of refreshing we need a
beverage and since we have some extra
mint left over we're gonna chop up a
bunch of mint and slice up a couple
inches of fresh ginger which we're gonna
use to make a mint
ginger simple syrup in a medium saucepan
we are combining one and a half cups of
sugar with one cup of water
tiny whisking until dissolved and
bringing to a simmer as soon as the
simmer is reached kill the heat and dump
in the fresh stuff which we're gonna let
steep in the syrup until it is
completely
cooled about one hour cover that up and
set it aside because it's well past time
that we start
juicing lemons go ahead and give your
knuckles a crack because we're gonna
juice
one and one half cups of freshly
squeezed lemon juice
once that's done we're gonna go ahead
and strain our mint and ginger simple
syrup and in a large food safe container
combine it with our one and one half
cups of freshly squeezed lemon juice
five to six cups of water depending on
how strong you like it and just a little
bit of our simple syrup
we don't want too sweet lemonade so keep
adding and tasting and adding and
tasting until you've decided
you know what i'm a sweet sweet lemonade
boy i'm going to add all the simple
syrup whisk until completely combined
and transfer to a watertight
travel safe container like a mason jar
then all there is left to do is pack
everything up and tote it out to your
local park
preferably in a durable spill-proof
leak-proof well-insulated cooler like
this one from yeti i hope as the weather
gets warmer you guys give this one a try
for yourselves and dine alfresco
even if you're like me and you're just
doing it in your backyard i think at
this point we could all use a change of
scenery
i hope that it's warmer wherever you are
than it was here when we filmed this
episode and i hope that you can all
indulge in a colorful flavorful picnic
with someone you love
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