Hey baby
*bryan groaning off camera*
Shut up Bryan!
I wrote this song for you
Bryan: You cheating swankified *bleep*
Hey I'm filming here!
Anyways, I-I hope this makes you happy.
*piano music plays*
I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
Bryan: I love your fat abnormally large toes
Shut up! You are ruining the video!
Bryan: Scoot over! Yah, Yah you remember me?
Bryan!
Bryan: Yah well you should, cuz you took my heart out and shoved it down my esophagus.
Bryan: Well, you should remember that. Okay? You cheated on me with my very own brother over here. You jerk!
Let it go! dude, okay? that was like three months ago
I'm trying to film something.
Bryan: Fine but i'm not moving
*starts to play again* I love your hair, your smile, your clothes
Bryan: I love your cankles and your elephant nose.
*plays again* I love your freckles and your eyes
Bryan: Don't forget about her thunder thighs
Girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Bryan: It hurt, she landed on her face.
Girl I need to put on my to-do-list.
Bryan: or my hit list, whichever really works
If you were a booger I'd pick you first
Bryan: Well, I'd lick you first.
What?!? Thats- thats so wrong, that's disgusting
Bryan: I would lick her, as in I would punch her in the face
Bryan: I might make you look prettier
Both: Girl, your everything I,
Bryan: DON"T
Both: want, you're everything I
Bryan: DON"T
Both: need, without you I
Barely, Bryan: can finally
Both: Breathe
Bryan: You're so fat, you got arrested at the airport for 10 pounds of crack
Bryan: Not even Clinton would sleep with you, when trucks stop they beep like you
Bryan: No one wants to be with you. I never want to see you again
Bryan: your like the elephant men, you look like you seriously stopped a van with
Both: Your face
Is like the sun
Bryan: Yep, it burns my retinas
You got beautiful puppy dog eyes
Bryan: Maybe you should go to the vet, you smell like a pig, and look like a fish
Bryan: If you were a cow, i'd put you right on a dish, You're crazy like a monkey, you belong in a zoo
Bryan: If you were a horse i'd turn you right into glue
Your eyes are like a pond in which the fish of beauty swim
Bryan: You have a mustache like my dad, you really need a trim.
Both: All I really want to say is I
Love Bryan: hate
Both: You
Bryan: I hope you die, you stupid *bleep*
*Bryan slams on keys*