- It's so nice.
What's up, hey everybody.
- This is the funniest thing and I don't know if you know.
- Okay.
- While we were at Koi last night, and you were at Koi.
- Oh shut up.
- And I didn't know you were there, but my husband,
I was reading I think it was, oh that's so weird,
'cause he was sitting behind us.
And I didn't even know you were there either,
my husband was like-- - The whole time?
- The whole time we had dinner.
We had dinner right next to each other last night
and I didn't see you and you didn't see me.
- 'Cause someone talked to you table,
that was a big table, I don't know which one you were but,
there was a bunch of tables.
But that would've been great,
you could have bought me dinner.
- We've ran into each other quite a bit though.
- Yes. - Like randomly.
- Yes, here and there. - Yeah.
Like over the years, in it really, it's been really weird.
- Right well I saw you at the beginning
when you were on that show.
- [Kelly] Yeah, no one's heard of it.
- [David] I voted for you a million times.
- [Kelly] You lie.
- [David] Oh, look at us!
(laughing)
- [Kelly] Oh my god.
- Where was that?
- I think Teen Choice Awards.
- Was that at Koi?
(laughing)
- If I looked like that last night,
something very wrong happened this morning.
- No which ones, is that me on the left?
(laughing)
No, I look great, we look great, look at us.
- [Kelly] Oh my god look at those highlights,
I was so into it.
- [David] Laughing, I was hosting one of 'em one year.
Maybe that was it.
Anyway I'm just trying to drop that in there.
- You do too much.
You do, you do all the things.
- Kelly, I do, it's too much.
That's why I look so beat up, I'm glad you brought that up.
(laughing)
People are wondering why, no I do standup still,
I do whatever you know, try to do movies here and there,
and now with the talk show, I do a lot.
That's tougher than I thought.
- Doing a talk show? - Is this tougher
than you thought or no?
- Okay you're gonna hate my answer,
I was terrified to do this and it is
way easier than I thought.
- Oh it is?
- Yeah.
- Well tell me the secret
because I think I'm trying too hard.
- I really like people.
- No I don't, that's what it is.
(laughing)
That's the big--
- You know what, I had this conversation with other hosts
and I'm like, I genuinely really like, even jerks,
I like getting in there and trying, to, it's a challenge
to kind of win them over.
- Well you know what, I think maybe the tough part is,
'cause I cry every night.
(laughing)
And it's not always about that.
But I sometimes because ours is like three comedians,
and then we have topics of the day and we talk about it.
And then we do jokes and stuff,
so I sort of have to prep more.
- Ah.
- And maybe I wanna, I just put, I get up early.
Listen, I'm no workaholic, you might as well know now.
So, all my friends know this.
So I just thought, "Whoo I'd breeze in at what, 12,
leave at 12:40."
That sounds like a good job.
(laughing)
And I also made them pay me in casino chips, it's so stupid.
(laughing)
I have to drive out to Morongo every weekend.
So it's a little harder than I thought, but I do love it.
It's fun to do a job like you seem like you love this.
And it's nice because I get, I'm a comedian
so I'm around funny people, the writers are funny.
And I bring great people on, it's overall, it's a good time.
- And you bring joy to people, you make them laugh.
- [David] Yeah, yeah, that's hopefully.
- That's awesome.
- That's the funnest thing of the job is when I see people
and if they recognize me, I'm pretty nice to them
even though people think I might not be but,
I'm pretty nice to 'em because when people get exited
that they saw you in something they start laughing
or smiling to say hi.
And you can never, I never say no.
Even during dinner, people want a picture.
- Oh I don't either.
Have you been with people that do say no?
- Yes, and you're with them?
- I sweat.
- [David] It's brutal.
- I literally have gone, I've just interrupted them
and been like, "Oh no I don't mind,
I'll go over here it's fine, oh sh--"
- Yeah.
- And I'll just try and like, it makes me feel so awkward.
- Did you say oh (bleep)?
Is that what you said in the middle?
- No (laughing)
No I said oh, and then I was gonna say she,
and then I was like don't give away who we're talking about.
- I know a guy, a friend of mine, that does it,
and when their famous, I had a guy that was less famous
and he wouldn't do it.
And I'd go, "Get up."
To take their pictures, like.
(laughing)
- [Kelly] You need this.
- Yeah you need it.
And make sure they tag you.
(laughing)
- [Kelly] You need this exposure.
- I always tell 'em hit me with a filter,
you know help a guy out.
- [Kelly] Yeah, yeah, I always go angle, angle please.
- Yeah, I like the girls that go can I get a picture,
yeah, okay let's walk out by the Beverly Center.
I'm like, "That's two miles."
But the lighting's better, so I do it.
(laughing)
- I would not do that.
I've noticed you have some writing on your hand,
was this a rough weekend or?
(laughing)
- No, that's--
- Are you trying to remember the persons name, or?
- No I'm just, I write on my hand to remember stuff.
- Like Memento, did you see that movie?
(laughing)
- Yeah it is a little bit, I gotta remember where I am,
50 first dates.
(laughing)
But I'm doing a set tonight of standup to practice
so I, I sometimes think of a joke I haven't done in a while
and stuff so.
- I love that you don't grab paper, you're like skin's fine.
- No it's the quickest way,
it started in high school doing it.
And it still works.
'Cause I'll always look at my hand,
but I don't always look at my phone
or I don't always look at like notes
in my pocket, it's dumb.
(laughing)
It's so dumb, yeah.
- Well you seem pretty normal,
but I hear you have kind of a possy,
which I think is awesome.
- Oh yeah, well I fattened,
I wanted an entourage, you'll get one soon.
(laughing)
You know and then it's sort of dumb how many people
I have around me, I got one guy goes to the Grove
two hours ahead to see if it's raining,
if I wanna go to the mall.
I have one guy that explains Venmo to me.
(laughing)
And that guy's full time, 'cause I never get it,
I don't understand.
And I have someone that looks like me that goes
to a Saddle Ranch to ride the mechanical bull.
- I know a Saddle Ranch.
- Yeah when people chant I have him go on and ride.
And then I have a guy that helps get the chant going.
Just a bunch of people.
- Just a bunch of people doing your things.
- I could probably cut the payroll down a little bit.
- I heard that you lost your phone, I would freak out.
Well I have kids so I would freak out.
- Listen, I was scrambling.
I don't know if you guys have done this but I,
I guess I love my phone, I don't even notice.
But it was fizzling out of batteries,
and something was wrong.
So sometimes that little hole in the bottom,
it gets a little fuzz in there so it won't,
it was losing the charge.
So I stuck a safety pin in there to clean it out, mistake!
(laughing)
You don't have to go to DeVry to know that one.
I was like (bzzzz)
- DeVry? (laughing)
- And then it starts going (power down noises)
And I'm like, 36%, do do do do, 28%.
Going, it's what happens when it's over?
It won't charge.
So it's done, so I get to the iPhone store,
and they're like clear!
Doof doof!
Like it's really ICU.
And then they get a little bzz bzz,
they get it going, but man,
for 16 hours,
that should be the internet challenge.
16 Hours I did not have my phone.
I don't even know how to drive.
(laughing)
Without, I was like.
- 'Cause you didn't know where to go?
- What do I just look at (bleep), you know what I mean?
(laughing)
Where do I put my hands?
On the steering wheel?
Hey, there's trees on my street.
- Trees on my street.
- I know, I go, "Look you guys, there's trees all over!"
(laughing)
- Well your Netflix film, The Wrong Missy
comes out in May right?
- Yeah, yeah.
- So do you like acting, 'cause I--
- I heard one person applaud, I liked it,
I like where you were headed.
(laughing)
Or did you drop something, either way I'll take it.
Well we did The Wrong Missy in Hawaii this summer,
it was so fun, I just saw it actually, thank god,
I thought it was great.
'Cause you never know.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- But when you, 'cause you know I've done some,
I think they're great,
and some other people tell me they're not.
But, acting, and people say, "I saw you in Grown Ups
"or whatever, acting looks easy, is it easy?"
And I go, "Yes."
- No.
- I mean I don't think it is really, but you realize that
if you've seen the people that win Oscars,
a lot of them are first timers.
That's so crazy that there's 100 000 people
in the screen actors guild, and people just waltz in like
Jodie Foster was five years old, her first movie,
she wins an Oscar.
And then Gabourey Sidibe did Precious.
Never acted before, up for an academy award.
Jennifer Hudson, your buddy.
American Idol.
Kid's eight.
She can't even win on the thing
she's trained her whole life for, singing.
She walks over to a movie, wins an Oscar her first time.
- Maybe, but here's the thing on that, I'll point out.
- [David] Yeah.
- Maybe American Idol got it wrong, is what I'm saying.
- Sure she's great, obviously I think we've proven
that she can sing but.
- Well she took the Oscar away from everybody else
that had been there for a minute.
(laughing)
- [David] That's right, can you believe it?
I thought, if I watch the NBA and I go, "That looks easy,
what if I tried it."
And then I was the best person in the NBA,
wouldn't that be weird?
(laughing)
You're better than Lebron James.
Ah I just saw it on TV, it looked easy,
you put it in the hoop, I dunno.
And everyone's like.
Then you'd go, "Maybe we're all bad actors,
because anyone that tries it, wins an oscar."
That's the big secret,
I should actually try to keep that down.
- [Kelly] I should.
- Yeah I don't want anybody catch on.