﻿Hey guys, I’m Kya,
and for nearly 80 years,
the caped crusader has agonized over all the innocents lost,
by letting the clown prince of crime live.
It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic...
Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway! HA HA HA HA HA!
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Snyder-hater but I don’t want a Batman with blood on his hands,
especially when we can do the dirty work for him.
So, get off the gas,
pull your puddin’ close,
and wipe that smile off your face,
because this is
How to Kill the Joker
Mistah J. has been a thorn in Batman’s side from the very beginning,
and while the story of his creation is a whole ‘nother can of laughing gas,
the credit is currently shared between Bob Kane, Bill Finger, and Jerry Robinson.
But whether he was inspired by a playing card,
Or an old silent film actor,
he’s endured as one comics most long-lived villains,
even though he’s had more than a few run-ins with the grim reaper,
Made you look!
so let’s start out with the times the Joker became a
Canonical Corpse
The Joker’s first appearance was also damn close to his last.
Back in 1940, the idea of a recurring supervillain was still a pretty new concept,
You know what you're doing?
Yeah. I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.
in fact, writer Bill Finger though it would make the Dark Knight look like a complete loser if the bad guy kept coming back,
Let's just pretend the whole thing never happened and do this some other time, kay?
so he killed him off in his second-ever story,
when Joker lashes out with a knife in a desperate attempt to disembowel the Dark Knight,
and he accidentally stabs himself in the stomach instead.
We've all been there.
The dialogue is pretty cut and dry that Mr. J. is deader than disco,
but DC knew the character was too cool to kill off for good,
so they hastily threw in a panel where a doctor declares that the Joker will pull through.
He returns again in the very next issue,
teaming up with Catwoman,
and seemingly perishing inside a burning building.
For the bulk of the Golden Age, nearly every Joker appearance ended with his apparent demise,
usually by a deadly drop.
He fell off lighthouses, boats, trains, and even a dirgible,
only to appear unscathed the next month.
At a certain point, DC didn’t even try to explain how he came back,
but once the Comics Code came into the picture,
the creepy clown stopped appearing quite so frequently,
and when he did, the smiling serial killer was neutered into a goofy prankster,
whose crimes didn’t exactly warrant a brutal death.
That just when he's going around like *giggle* and Batman's like "oh, you silly Joker!"
And Joker's like "I'm gonna be a homicidal maniac in a second."
But first I have to give wedgies to everyone.
"But first, Batman, can you turn over? My evil plan is to give you a wedgie."
"I really-- just help a brother out!"
The Joker was back to his murderous methods by the ‘70s,
and when he resurfaced in stories like the legendary ‘Laughing Fish,’
the tradition of fakeout deaths continued,
from getting struck by lightning,
to various vehicle explosions.
None of them stuck, obviously,
not even when Talia al Ghul absolutely riddled him with bullets.
This was the closest Joker actually came to giving up the ghost,
but since he was the only clue to stopping a world-ending plague,
the Batman actually tossed him into a Lazarus Pit to bring him back,
and in a cool twist, instead of the usual berserker rage, the pit actually makes him sane for a second,
and he finally expresses regret for the hundreds of lives he’s taken.
But not a dang drop of regret for the wedgies. Not a dang one!
He's like "it was worth every one."
"All the whoopee cushions, I don't regret any of the whoopee cushions, any of the swirlies, any of the wedgies,"
"but the killing, I probably shouldn't have done."
Luckily, that doesn’t last long.
I don’t know if his resurrection made him more impervious,
but years later, he survives a point blank shot to the head at the beginning of Grant Morrison’s legendary Bat-run,
lives through getting his face sliced off,
and of course, defies death after another dizzying drop.
His most recent brush with the great beyond came at the finale of ‘Endgame,’
no relation,
where he and Bruce were both crushed during a cave-in,
though they both survived with a minor case of amnesia.
Today, the Joker is alive and well in the reborn DC Universe,
but it’s a much different story
Onscreen
HA HA HA HA HA!!!
I do believe it's that arch-criminal, the Joker!
Now clearly, Ceasar Romero’s moustachioed master of mirth was never going to die in the campy ‘60s show,
but Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’ had no compunction against killing.
Excuse me. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
As the Joker, Jack Nicholson delivered one of the most iconic (and expensive) performances in movie history,
and his controversial involvement in the death of Thomas and Martha Wayne
gave Bruce even more reason to put the clown down permanently.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
So, when the Joker tries to flee from the brutal battle atop Gotham’s ridiculously high clock tower,
Batman has no problem hooking a heavy gargoyle to his leg,
and sending him plummeting to the streets below.
Now, usually with Joker death drops, you never see the body,
but Burton lingers the camera on his corpse,
as a toy lets out one last cackle.
AH HA HA HA HA HEH. AH HA HA HA HA HEH.
And as far as live-action deaths go, that’s pretty much it,
Heath Ledger’s Joker is just hanging out by the end of ‘Dark Knight,’
You... You just couldn't let me go!
and before the actor’s tragic passing,
he was even supposed to appear as an Arkham inmate in ‘Rises.’
And since we don’t yet know what fate has in store for the clowns played by Jared Leto and Joaqin Phoenix,
let’s look at one of his most memorable deaths ever,
in ‘Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.’
Love it. Live for it. Bless it.
I'm ready to give this whole town a wedgie again!
In this controversial classic,
we finally learn the truth behind the Joker’s mysterious absence from Neo-Gotham.
35 years ago, he kidnapped, tortured and brainwashed Tim Drake,
leaving the former Robin a broken, extremely creepy kid clown,
but after witnessing a brutal battle with the Batman,
he turns on his tormenter and kills him with his own gag gun.
That's not funny...
That's not...
Tim seemingly beats his programming, but in the present,
or future, whatever,
he’s being overcome by Mistah J’s consciousness thanks to an implanted microchip.
How do you go from being a 50-year-old to being an undeterminately aged man who looks much younger than you?
Ooh, I never get tired of that!
One blast from a joy buzzer destroys the device,
and ends the evil of Mark Hamill’s legendary Joker,
at least as far as the DCAU goes.
Hamill reprised the role once more in the ‘Arkham Asylum’ games,
and while they’re not in the same continuity as the cartoons,
this Joker just seems like an amped-up, M-rated interpretation of the same character,
especially when he doses himself with Titan formula and turns into a huge, spiky rage monster.
What the heck? NO!
[OFFSCREEN ASTONISHMENT]
Showtime, Batman! Two freaks in a fight to the death!
...You were a freak before the spikes, honey, you didn't need to do this!
He just looks like a dude who took too many steroids and now he's like "I'm also punk."
The Titan turns out to be terminal,
and despite a crazy scheme involving Clayface doubles, Lazarus pits,
and a whole lot of collateral damage,
Batman is still willing to cure his hated foe,
until the Joker accidentally smashes the antidote,
and dies for good.
Do you want to know something funny? Even after everything you've done... I would have saved you.
Batman is still like "bro, I got you, I know you're going through a lot right now, you look kinda crazy, but buddy... I got you."
Pretty funny!
The ‘Arkham’ series was a fitting sendoff for Mark Hamill’s iconic run as the character,
and he would never play the Joker again.
Nope, never again,
especially not in a terrible ‘Killing Joke’ movie, because that movie doesn't even exist to me.
Gosh darn it.
Speaking of which, let’s close out with a look at some
Elseworlds
We meet again.
There’s a lot about Allan Moore and Brian Bolland’s graphic novel that made it into mainstream canon,
but the ambiguous ending, where Batman seemingly strangles his hated foe as they share one last joke,
definitely didn’t count
Which is a shame, because it could have opened up some extremely interesting storytelling opportunities.
That’s why so many Elseworlds and imaginary stories begin with the Joker’s death changing everything.
The ur-example is ‘The Dark Knight Returns,’
where an older, world-weary Batman still can’t bring himself to end his enemy’s life.
Do guests get to keep these?
Sure, you do whatever you want with it! We've got a closet full of 'em!
So long as you won't miss it...
Even after Mr. J slaughters an entire TV studio and poisons a boy scout troop with a bunch of flying Chucky dolls...
Anyways...
Bruce chickens out at the last second.
He breaks the Joker’s neck, leaving him alive but paralyzed,
at least, until the killer clown snaps his own neck and frames the Bat for the crime.
See you... In Hell... HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Alternate Batman does a lot of spine snapping,
like in ‘The Nail,’ where he murders the Joker live on television in retaliation for killing Robin and Batgirl.
It’s not always Bruce with blood on his hands, either.
In ‘Kingdom Come,’
a super edgy, ‘90s-tastic hero named Magog,
obliterates Mr. J, kicking off a civil war between DC’s “traditional” characters,
and a new generation of ultra-violent antiheroes.
‘Kingdom Come’ clearly inspired ‘Injustice,’
where Mistah J drugs Superman, making him mistake his very pregnant wife Lois,
for the deadly Doomsday.
After accidentally killing the love of his life, his unborn child, and the majority of Metropolis,
Superman snaps,
and the Big Blue Boy Scout skewers the Joker,
an act that turns him into a tyrannical dictator.
which is the best Superman you can have, to be honest.
Hi, Counselor!
Time to kill you again!
Who could have thought than one simple clown could do so much damage?
The Joker isn’t super durable,
he doesn’t have powers, he’s just a normal dude, or dudes,
who had one very bad day.
Yet time and time again he cheats death and endures tremendous amounts of punishment,
only to rise again and wreak havoc on Gotham.
When will enough be enough?
Look, I’m not about to tell a billionaire kung fu master with serious psychological issues how to do his job,
all I’ve done is provide a handy dandy guide to stopping the Joker for good.
Your move, Bats.
(But don't kill him)
Stop laughing...