Don't let the busyness of life rob you of moments that matter. In this episode, I'm going to address,
when wisdom calls don't send it to voicemail. Folks, this episode will help you understand
how to recognize moments that matter. When wisdom calls and not to give it a busy
signal is what I used to say. Now, it's don't let it go to voicemail you'll be missing out.
So, my name is Doug Andrew and I've been helping people optimize their assets
and minimize taxes now for more than 48 years and in that process people come to me usually
to understand how to save invest money so that at retirement they won't outlive their money and
so forth. Well, when they come they realize that I approach things differently than most financial
advisors. I focus on all three dimensions of what I call authentic wealth. The financial dimension is
just one. The other two legs of this three-legged stool I have to do with your foundational assets
and your intellectual assets. Foundational would include your heritage, your talents, your unique
abilities, your relationships, your beliefs, and so forth. Intellectual dimension, okay, that is your
knowledge, your formal education, your wisdom that you gain, your experiences,
the systems, methods, traditions, alliances, ideas, and skills. So, those are the three dimensions
and a lot of people are wobbling on just one leg. Maybe just money... and they're bankrupt
in the other two dimensions and so I help people get balance take the wobble out of their life. Well,
this is one of the concepts I teach in the other two dimensions in my various books and educational
events. I call it moments that matter. This is actually an episode in a series where I talk about
moments that matter. They happen to all of us on a daily basis sometimes a dozen or two. Sometimes 100
or 200 and these are moments that matter. Sometimes they're planned, sometimes they're anticipated,
sometimes they're unexpected. You don't even see they're coming. So, in this episode, I'm going to
address one of two different moments that matter. When wisdom calls don't let it go to voicemail. The
other type is a split-second turn. I'll talk about that in another episode. So, when wisdom calls,
I used to say don't give it a busy signal. Well, now phones usually don't give busy signals sometimes
my grandkids go what's a busy signal. Well, so, I had to change it to don't let it go to voicemail.
Well, what I mean is a lot of times when we have moments that happen or we get interrupted
we deem this person as an interruption. Sometimes when I ask a question of an employee in a business
they have not learned this. They deem me an interruption of their work when actually
if they're trained properly I'm the very purpose of their job. I'm not interrupting them stocking
shelves. They're stocking shelves until a customer asks the question. But a lot of times people don't
understand that when wisdom calls. When somebody is calling asking for help or whatever especially
a child or a grandchild or a client or a customer or a patient.
You don't move into automatic and react with a mindless reaction and get entrenched into old
habits. What I mean is you've got to be able to train your mind to recognize moments that matter
and I'm here to tell you, "Hey, I'm just as guilty as anybody", I've had to ask myself, when didn't I
give wisdom? Okay, a busy signal or send it to voicemail when it called. When didn't I do that?
And also, when did I do that and you know I don't want you to beat yourself up for how
many times because we've all given wisdom when it called a busy signal, "How many times have I
told you when I'm on the phone honey or I'm on my computer don't interrupt me", well, if you keep
saying that pretty soon your children will stop coming to you. They don't think they're important
and is that really what you wanted to communicate? But that's what you are communicating. So, let me
give you some examples of this. I just threw up a numbers here on the bottom of the screen 49 out
of 53. My wife and I we have for years mentored troubled youth and we have done this where we
help youth that are in trouble at youth detention centers. I have spent thousands of hours with my
wife I'm mentoring troubled youth who are in crisis centers. They've attempted suicide
sometimes numerous times. In fact, I'm on a board for teenage suicide prevention and
so I also am on a board for what is called the hope squads. Now, if you haven't heard of this
a good friend of mine Greg Hudnall he instigated what are called hope squads in a nutshell
after he was a principal for several decades at a high school. He was asked to come and identify the
body of a young boy who had been the student body president. When he committed suicide and he went
back to his car and he just lost it. He thought why didn't I recognize that this he was student body
president? Why did he take his life and he vowed in his retirement he would do everything in his power
to save as many lives as he possibly could. So, he started hope squads. What he found out is that we
went around to different high schools and surveyed them. He would ask them questions like how many of
you high school students in the last year have felt severely depressed at least you know two
weeks of this last year? 25% said, yes. Now, sometimes they get confused with feeling down or rejected or
whatever. But anyway, they felt depressed in their mind. Well, how many of you have thought about
taking your life and it was like five percent. Well, how many of you actually planned it out?
Well, one percent and a student body of 2,000 high school students 20, have actually planned out a
suicide. Thankfully, only about one out of ten actually, complete it but one out of ten is too
many and so he found that a lot of these high schools there would be one two or three that
would take their life and sometimes it would give others the idea to do it or whatever. So,
he thought well they make it taboo to talk about it because it might give him ideas.
No, actually, he would say, "Well, if you ever felt like that who would you go to share your feelings?",
and it was rarely their parents. Oh, my folks are too busy. No, I wouldn't tell my parents.
It was usually a friend at school but it wasn't just always a friend and it seemed to be the top 20, 30,
or 40, students out of 2,000 at a high school and it wasn't necessarily the student body president.
It were those students who were non-judgmental they were friendly to everybody and so it was
amazing. He would get this list of 40 he would invite them and their parents to come in and say,
"Would you like to be a member of the hope squad? One day a week you wear a t-shirt that says hope
and students will be educated at assemblies that if they are ever feeling down or depressed
they can go to you in confidence and you're not gonna give them counsel. You will befriend them
and that you can point them to a counselor and help save their life." So, they're bird doggers
and the suicide rate goes down dramatically. But the point is this, in the previous year when I
asked Greg Hudnall this a few years ago he said there had been 53 suicides at high schools in the
state and I said wow and he's usually called on to go talk to the other students with counseling
as a grief counselor and he found out that out of 53 parents of those kids who took their life
49 out of the 53 parents said they had no clue their child even felt depressed. Now, when they
think in retrospect there were tons of moments that mattered but somehow those parents didn't
really think their child was really, "Oh, you're just emotional today or whatever get over it",
and they didn't know it was a moment that mattered. So, when wisdom called they were guilty of sending
it to voice mail and now they wish they could go back and recognize that moment that mattered.
Does this making sense? So, if this is already intriguing you and you can think of somebody who ought
to watch this episode be sure and share click that link, post a comment, click like. But most
importantly, I invite you to subscribe to this three-dimensional wealth channel it's free and
when you do click that little bell then you'll be notified every time i post a new episode and
I have five episodes just about this concept of moments that matter. I'm recording these for you.
This isn't about me and so subscribe. But stay with me to the end, I want to gift you a free copy
of a book that will help empower you and those you care about. So, let me continue on this concept.
I remember hearing this story from one of my friends, this rose is for you.
He gave his wife or their anniversary a dozen roses but it was a baker's dozen it was
13 roses and she had it at her work and her secretary and one day said, "Can I change the
water on your roses?", and his wife said, "Oh, no..." But she insisted she went down to the ladies room to
put fresh water and she came back and she says, "I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of giving
away one of your 13 roses. You still have a dozen to a young lady in the restroom that
I thought could use it", now, he said, "My wife you know didn't object but sort of thought to herself",
"I didn't even want you to go change the water and then you gave it away".
Well, that all changed in about an hour. Somebody got off the elevator on that floor and they came
and they had this note and it said to the lady with a dozen red roses and it was delivered
to her and, she opened the note and it said, "Thank you for saving my life. I had made some choices and
I didn't see any light at the end of my tunnel and so I chose to take my life today and as I was
slipping out to carry out that plan. I was breaking down knowing this was the last time I would see
anybody because I was going to take my life and I slipped into the restroom and went into a stall
and made one last plead to God. If you are there show me some kind of a sign
and when I emerged from the stall after that prayer you handed a rose to me and said this rose
is for you. Now, thank you for being in the right place at the right time
with the right spirit. Because I knew you were an instrument in God's hands
to be an answer to my prayer and I went back and I chose not to take my life.
So, thank you", and she had no idea that her secretary actually was responsible for that.
I love that story. So, unfortunately, we are becoming a world of selfies. We're somewhere and we
missed actually being there in front of the Eiffel tower or the London bridge or whatever because
we are so preoccupied with taking selfies of being there and we missed being there and smelling the
smells or seeing the lady selling things at bird feet or whatever and as if that really matters.
And so, with selfies sometimes we acknowledge that we're not really in the moment we're missing
things because we're so into ourself and sharing it that we miss what's going on in moments that
matter. Is that making some sense? So, this is why I teach high concepts coupled with high touch
and you have to use both right brain and left brain concepts. But one of my favorite
metaphors is how we came across the word sincere or how that word actually originated.
Because when you are sincerely interested in other people you will be aware of moments that
matter. Now, the word sincere actually is pronounced in Italian anciently you know cincher and so
anciently in Greece and that when they would have pottery they would make pottery out of clay
and they would put it in a kiln or an oven and off times when it would come out of the kiln it would
have cracks or imperfections in it and the pottery people would melt candle wax in the
cracks or the imperfections smooth it over paint it. It would still be functional. It would still
hold water. But if that pot ever toppled over where would it break? In the weak spot, okay, the crack.
This is where the term crackpot comes from. It's somebody who thinks they have their act together
but when the first straw in the windstorm happens they fall apart. They don't walk their talk. They're
not sincere. What am I talking about? Well, in the pottery profession if you had a piece of pottery
that did not have phony wax filler it wasn't weak and covered up it was genuine you were getting
what you paid for. It didn't have a fault or a crack or an imperfection that was being covered up.
You could stamp that piece of pottery [inaudible] which literally means without wax. So, sincere,
people can tell if you're sincere or not. If you have phony wax filler or not and so when you learn
to be sincerely interested in other people you will not miss those moments that matter and so
this is so significant. my goal and my hope for you is that you will be sincerely interested
when wisdom calls don't send it to voicemail. Be present in the moment and seize the opportunity.
Now, if you want to learn more about this concept I want to gift you a book Entitlement Abolition. It's
a 200-page book, it's my 10th book and we've gone through hundreds of thousands of this book now.
I want to gift you a copy of this you don't have to pay $20 retail. You contribute a nominal amount
towards the shipping and handling, I'll cover the rest of that cost and I'll pay for the book.
Now, you don't have to pay retail 20 bucks for it Simply go to entitlementabolitionbook.com
and to claim your free copy contribute that nominal amount. But when you
do that I will fire out a copy of this book and you'll learn about concepts like
moments that matter and a lot of other concepts. Subscribe to the channel but let me tell you.
When you go in to do this there's options there to listen and learn watch and learn.
There's even an 18-hour master class that will help you do a deep dive into understanding
concepts like this. So, here is to your brighter future to recognize moments that matter.