you are a single person i'm guessing
you're using the dating apps
as all single young people are these
days i'm told
i go on every now and then and then my
wife gets mad so
um do you because you are a suspicious
person
and your whole life is about
uh scams you must have a
heightened suspicion and
and sense of mistrust when you're on a
dating app you must
you know i actually like dating apps i
feel bad for men on dating apps because
if you're under if like you don't have
this
problem conan because you're so tall but
like if you're under five nine you get
swiped left
on so much on dating apps when in
reality if you met a man who was under
five nine in real life and you liked his
vibes and you liked him
you would not discriminate against his
height and um i like to tell everybody
that there's no such thing as five nine
no one has ever been five
nine no woman or man it's a whole scam
of a height
you don't think you don't think there's
anybody on earth who's five nine
no there's not there never has been
we've been lied to
that's a hype that only exists on dating
apps yes
it is an imagination it is not real but
um i'm side one so i can date you know
pretty much any height being so close to
the ground and always finding change
okay now i uh i have met you in person
and um you are a uh you are a smaller
petite person
at 5-1 and i'm curious was that
something
you worried about when you were younger
or did you make peace with that right
away
i've always loved being short and i was
hoping that i would be short enough that
i could get the government benefits
but by the time i was 18 unfortunately i
grew a little too tall so that was
disappointing
for me um there are government benefits
if you're
under a certain height is that right yes
yes there are okay um so you know and
and obviously it's not right to scam uh
you know disabilities communities and
things like that but i thought i was
legitimately going to be a part of it
um and i was bummed when i wasn't so
you got upset that you grew okay yes
um okay so describe how you find
dating apps how do you find them you
know what is your process for finding a
good dating app
i will you know when i'm looking for
love i'm looking for you know somebody
who will cook dinner
you know um get my dry cleaning uh maybe
organize
uh my receipts uh you know every week
and
um and as i started to say more i was
like oh i think i'm looking for an
assistant not a boyfriend but i am
trying to scam
a a man into uh being my assistant for
love
okay so that's basically what we want
you want uh
maybe there's two ways to go about it
you can find a man that you like and
then try to convince him to do all those
things
or you can hire a male assistant and
just then start dating him
oh this is a good point like step into
my office
and which is my car yeah i can see that
yeah