Hello, I’m David Ferriero, Archivist of the United States.
I want to talk to you about the disturbing trend of young people hurting themselves or
taking their own lives because of bullying.
You know, I think the most heinous form of bullying is targeted against gay, lesbian,
bisexual, or transgender individuals.
Or those perceived to be.
I know that things may seem intolerable.
But hard as it is to believe, it does get better.
It will get better!
At the National Archives, we want everyone to be treated fairly.
Not that long ago, many people felt that they could not be open about themselves at work.
Sadly, some workplaces had policies and practices against people being themselves.
This is no longer the case.
Things have gotten better – and we have many records here to prove just that!
If you are having trouble with bullying or taunting, please remember you are not alone.
One place you can turn to is the Trevor Project Hotline at 1-866-488-7386.
You have so much ahead of you--so many life experiences and opportunities in your future.
Don’t let the bullies win.
Be yourself.
It really does get better!
Now let’s hear what the staff at the National Archives have to say…
It started with notes in my locker, calling me various names and threatening me.
I was surrounded by people who were so into being the same, and if you weren’t like
them, then there was something wrong with you.
Why did I think differently than a lot of other people?
Why wasn’t I able to share some of their interests and jokes?
When I finally told my father, it put quite the strain on our relationship.
My twin sister, who is gay, and I moved to Arkansas from Hawaii when we were kids.
It was very different, a very different culture, very difficult.
We had been thrown into a situation where everybody knew each other from the time they
were toddlers.
They grew up together, and outsiders were really, sort of not, not welcomed.
I grew up in a same-sex family with two moms, which sometimes felt like a really big deal.
School permission slips, family tree projects, college applications often didn’t really
leave a space to identify or include the makeup of my family, and as a child that was really
disappointing.
And I remember being concerned about what people would think if they found out about
my family, and what they might say.
So I was playing on my high school soccer team, and I looked around and I thought, why
am I a little different?
Why do I think certain things and don’t necessarily share the same things that other
people did?
I felt a little alienated.
Ten years later, I’m playing in a gay softball league, I have lots of friends, and I end
up meeting the person that I’m still with twenty-two years to this day.
So, even though it’s tough now, it definitely gets better.
I’ve become myself.
I have a partner of twenty-three years.
We have a fifteen-year-old, hockey-playing son.
When I was a teenager, there were some really lonely days where I felt like I was the only
gay person in the world.
But a couple of years later, I had met the person who I had now am spending my life with
and it’s been almost 30 years.
It’s been great…it’s definitely gotten better.
It was such a happy moment, recently, when the Supreme Court overturned the Defense of
Marriage Act.
And to go from moments as a child of feeling invisible, of having my family feel invisible,
to having the Supreme Court of the United States recognize my parents’ right to marry
was really just such an amazing thing.
And I truly can say: it gets better.
It’s gotten better not just for me, but for our country as a whole.
I think back to the 1950s when a executive order was signed that basically said gays
and lesbians could not work for the federal government.
And then I see the executive order from the 1990s that overturned that.
There was the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in the 1990s again, which basically said that
my relationship had no legitimacy under federal law.
That has recently been overturned by the Supreme Court.
The wonderful thing for me is that this history is all documented where I work, at the National
Archives.
Don’t give up.
It gets better.
So what I’m telling you right now is to be true to yourself.
Follow your heart.
If people aren’t kind to you, you don’t need them.
You need people to be kind.
You need to be surrounded by kindness.
You need to be loved.
And things will get better.
You know they will.
So don’t give up.
No matter who you are, or what people tell you, there’s always, always people out there
that will love you for who you are.
And no matter what, you can learn to love yourself.
And so, without a doubt, I can tell you from personal experience that it absolutely gets
better.
And because we care, and because we are willing to be open, it will get better.
Every day, it will get better.
So I’m here to say, if you’re being bullied now, unlike me, schools have the responsibility
to stop bullying.
There are laws.
Go tell somebody, don’t hide, don’t skip school.
Be who you are.
So I just want to tell you to hang in there, and that it gets better.
Your experiences as an adult have very little to do with your experiences as a kid and a
teenager.
You can meet people, you can travel, you can fall in love, you can get married, you can
have kids, you can have a rewarding career in public service that will allow you to have
health benefits for your family, and it gets better!
And over time, it’s just gotten so much better.
I’ve been able to meet the love of my life.
I am open at work.
There’s really a community for LGBT employees here.
They go out of their way to make you feel welcome and make you feel as a part of a team.
And it’s really wonderful and it’s really refreshing because you might not get that
in every workplace.
But at NARA, it really makes you feel like you’re part of a team, and even sometimes
part of a family.
I know it gets better.
As shown in the presidential orders, I wouldn’t have the job I have today if things didn’t
change, and change for the better.
My partner and I of 20 years know that it gets better.
She and I and our sons know the love of our family and our community because things continue
to get better every day.
It strengthens us.
It helps us carry on every single day.
You also must know that it gets better.
Have faith and understand that you are important to yourself and to others.
Celebrate every day.
Be your authentic self.
Say with pride, “I am who I am.”
If you have problems or if you have trouble, know that there are people out there to help
you.
There are hotlines and programs and individuals who are there.
Reach out, and get the help that you need.
One day the National Archives may hold the proof that you contributed to making things
better for yourself, for someone else, and for humankind.