- Hello, I'm Amber Ruffin,
and today, we're gonna talk about
the saloon smasher.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- [hiccups] Our story starts in Kansas!
Carrie Nation married a man,
but he dies of alcoholism.
So, in 1900,
she prayed for God to tell her what to do.
Jesus, let me know what I can do
to stop people from drinking.
God said to her,
Go to Kiowa, Kansas--
not Iowa, Carrie--
and I will stand with you.
And she did.
So, she goes to Kiowa, Kansas.
She brings, like, bricks and rocks
to smash up bars.
And that's when the real [bleep] went down.
She was like, I don't want to strike you, barkeep,
but I will break up this den of vice.
So, the barkeep was like-- - "This den of vice"?
- "This den of vice."
The barkeep was like, That--
this has never happened,
so I don't know what you're talking about.
[slurping]
Sorry, that was loud.
You don't know [bleep], because my husband
[bleep] died of alcohol.
P.S., I super hate alcohol.
So...um, she smashes this bar up,
and this is the first time anyone has ever
[bleep] freaked out like a crazy person.
She smashes up all that [bleep].
She's smashing up, um,
all of his bottles of alcohol.
Well, it's [bleep] illegal for him to have it.
And smashing his fun. [laughing]
She smashed everything.
She comes out of his bar.
There's a huge crowd,
because people have never seen anything like this.
So everyone's out there going, Yay!
We like that that happened!
And so she gains a lot of supporters.
At this point, it's illegal to sell liquor in Kansas.
[chuckles] Those assholes.
- [laughs]
- So, Carrie goes to three other bars,
smashes their [bleep] up too.
And then, finally, the town marshal is like,
Please stop.
I'm going to have to arrest you.
She goes--she gets arrested.
She is arrested for seven weeks.
So, she gets out of jail.
Um, she goes to two other cities in Kansas.
When she gets to Wichita, she says,
Men of Wichita: this is the right arm of God,
and I am destined to destroy
every saloon in your city.
She goes into the Carey hotel bar.
She smashes up every bottle of alcohol.
She smashes up every mirror, every window.
She smashes it good,
because Jesus told her to smash,
and when Jesus say, "Smash," she smash.
She does $3,000 worth of damage.
Now, during one of her smashies--
- Oh, I like the smashies. - [laughing]
I wanted her to call it "Smashies."
I don't know that she did. - [laughing]
- A fan of hers gives her a hatchet.
Carrie is like, Enough with the bricks.
Let's get to the real [bleep], a hatchet.
So she goes into this bar,
gets into the bar, and smashes up
every bottle of alcohol.
Every... [laughing]
Ev-er-y. Ev-er-y. So--
- Everly Cleary? - Every.
Is what you should say. But I'm saying "Ev-er-y."
That's weird.
So, she smashes up everything in the bar.
And she leaves the bar.
And she's out talking to
this huge mass of people, and it's like,
Alcohol is terrible. Don't drink.
Everyone is like, Whoo, we're eating this [bleep] up.
So, she's famous.
Now she is famous.
So, she goes around
the whole United States of America.
She tours. She smashes up bars.
And she never stops, and a lot of people
try to write her off as a crazy lady
because she's the only person saying,
Hey, maybe alcohol is terrible.
But she be wrong, though, 'cause
this [bleep] is delicious.
[slurping]
So, she died in 1911.
And prohibition was passed in 1919,
due in large part to her and her efforts.
But also, women's rights.
That was Carrie A. [bleep] Nation.
Because she always advocated
for women's right to vote.
Thank you for [bleep] letting me [bleep] vote.
Lady. - Amen.
- Glad you smashed up these bars.
- Yeah.
- Bet it was cool. I sure like voting.
[slurping]
- [bubbling] I've always been able to vote.
- [laughing]
I'm black--I haven't been able to vote twice.
[laughter]
In the name of Carrie A. Nation.
- Let's smash this [bleep]. - Let's smash.
- One, two, three.
[glass shattering]
- To you, Carrie A. Nation.