I’m a
huge fan of Disney...at least, classic Disney.
And I’m a huge fan of Disney video games, too...at least, classic Disney games.
From Chip ‘n Dale and DuckTales to Epic Mickey and Castle of Illusion, Disney characters
translate beautifully to video games when they’re done right.
The thing is...not all Disney video games fall into that category.
There’s another category, too...the obvious category of “oh, it’s just a crappy licensed
game.”
But the interesting thing about this particular Disney game...is that it doesn’t fit into
either category.
I mean, you don’t even need to play Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure to see that
it’s obviously not one of those Disney classics.
But I wouldn’t call it a crappy licensed game, either.
I guess the key question here is, “Are you
a six-year-old girl?”
Because if you are, you’re probably very happy to hear this and I appreciate you watching.
Although you probably shouldn’t be.
I say awful things sometimes.
Everyone else is probably like, “Derek, come on...you actually like this crap?”
Uh, yeah.
I do.
It’s a perfectly fine kids game that lets me create my own Disney princess.
If you don’t want to create a Disney princess, you’re a godd*mn liar.
After you create that princess, you take her on a delightful journey through various Disney
worlds.
You get to interact with Ariel from The Little Mermaid and Belle from Beauty and the Beast
and all the whole lovely crew.
They all have these problems, which they ask you to help them solve.
I’d help Ariel with plenty of things.
So the premise is fabulous, the game looks beautiful...the problem is its a kids game.
Which means the gameplay doesn’t exactly hold up its end of the bargain.
It’s a basic recipe of simple platforming, lots of fetch quests, zap the evil fairies.
The game never really switches gears, but again, that’s understandable given the audience.
The customization is nice, but it’s actually pretty clunky in practice.
In fact, the game generally feels clunky at times.
You can’t just check out a dress—if you pick one, the game automatically slaps it
on you and moves on.
To continue, press B...not A.
You know, like every other game ever.
Listen, I’m not a six-year-old girl.
But we do have some common interests.
I prefer milk with my cookies, I’m not afraid to wear pink and yes, I cried when Belle danced
with the beast.
She looked stunning.
This game isn’t stunning.
But it’s not a bad dress for a six-year-old girl.