(car engine sounds)
SHUT UP
Car Seller (Anthony): Sup'?
Ian: Hi, I'm here for the car.
I saw your car on the ad.
I'm interested.
Car Seller: Alright, dog.
Just go 'round the side right here, and I'll drive it out alright?
Ian: Ok.
Ian: "Her ball"?
Ian: What the hell is "her ball" supposed to mean?
Car Seller: Oh, dog, dude, dude let me go get some of the letters, they fall off.
Yeah, let me go get 'em.
Car Seller: The Fireball, ha ha!
First, check out the decals, they're fireballs, that's where the car gets the name, they cost about 800 dollars each.
They give you 100 horsepower, each fireball.
Car Seller: You think this is black paint?
No, it was forged by engineers, inside a volcano, in the lava.
Car Seller: The spoiler, do you think how much extra speed you can get with this thing?
The car won't go flippin-floppin, whatever, it won't do it!
Ian: You call that a spoiler?
It's uh, it's a binder and...2 cups taped together.
Car Seller: Look, the performance speaks for itself.
Looks don't matter in this case.
Car seller: Time for the interior, I'm going to let you sit in the drivers seat, So you feel how an actual race car driver, actually feels.
All right, lets fire up this bad boy.
(Ian Starts Car) Woohoo, feel the baby roar!
Ian: Dude, what the hell was that?!
Car Seller: It's a security measurer so that when thieves try to take your car, it'll stall and they can't get away fast.
See what I mean?
Ian: So I can't drive fast, and this is a fast car?
car seller: No, no,no!
I-It just doesn't start fast, so that people can't steal it.
Ian: Right, all right well, whatever, lets just go.
car seller: Alright, go ahead, start the car.
Let's get out of here.
Look in the back, we got a refrigerator that I got installed.
How's that baby lookin', you want some cold refreshments?
Ian: Well, it's just looks like, uh, a cooler back there, dude.
Car Seller: No, dude, that's a refrigerator.
HOLY CRAP! WE'RE GOING SO DAMN FAST, BRO!!!!
Ian: It says we're going only about 25 miles per hour.
car seller: Dude, in this car, you gotta multiply everything by 10.
We're going at least 200 miles an hour.
Check this out, take your hands off the steering wheel and close your eyes, let the car's computer do the driving for you.
Ian: Ok, if you say so.
Car Seller: Oh sh--t!
Ian: Is this computer working?
Because like, this thing seems like it's swerving back and forth.
Car Seller: Yeah bro, this computer's doing perfect.Alright you do the driving now, the computer can only handle so much.
Ian: Uh, ok.
Uh, where did the spoiler go?
Car Seller: Oh, dude, it retracts itself into the trunk, so that you can get more speed when you're going at uh, when you're going pretty fast.
Car Seller: So, what d'ya think, bro?
Only 800 bucks!
Ian: You know, it's not that great of a car, I mean...Oh what the hell is that!?
Ian: Oh my God, is that a cupholder?!
Ian: I'll take it!