- [Narrator] Daydreams are normally
mini poofs of happy, breath of fresh air what-ifs,
a brain micro vacation.
Yes, we've thought of what we'd do
with the bazillion dollars we won from the lottery too.
However, when the balance of daydream and reality tips
so that your real life is seriously disrupted
or even rejected,
the daydreams have turned to the dark side,
becoming maladaptive.
Maladaptive daydreaming
is an extreme escapism coping mechanism,
usually in response to trauma, abuse, or loneliness.
It can be an addiction
and a sign to seek professional assistance
as it's commonly found in those with mental health issues
like PTSD, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Here are a few ways you can tell
if that dragon riding trip you took
after winning a mighty battle is a normal daydream
or heading towards maladaptive.
Number one.
Daydreaming blackouts.
We all have somewhat of an internal clock.
Sure, some are more accurate than others,
but we all usually have an inkling
of a few minutes or a few seconds.
With daydreams, we can usually tell
our mind's drifted off for a few moments.
At most, you imagined a little story in your head
for what felt like one minute,
but you're not too surprised
if you see it was actually three or four.
We then shake off the daydream and get back to life.
In the maladaptive daydream,
you essentially lose real-life time.
Your internal clock just turns right off
and you get so engrossed in the daydream
that you're living your life in your head,
having no sense of the real world.
It could be morning
and by the time something pulls you back to reality,
you could be looking at the darkened sky and wondering,
"Where did the day go?"
Number two.
Extremely vivid daydreams.
Daydreams, just like nighttime dreaming,
usually have that soft edge, cloudy feel about them.
If you picture it, you can definitely tell it was a dream.
If you talk to someone else about it, you might say,
"So I had this idea that..."
Or, "I was just thinking how great it would be if..."
Maladaptive daydreams are recalled far more vividly,
sharply, and viscerally.
In fact, they feel so real
that they could be mistaken for a real-life memory,
which is why it can be helpful
to have something else for backup
to ensure that you're remembering actually happened,
like an associated activity or a physical piece of evidence
like a receipt.
Bonus tip.
This can help you discern if you're getting gaslit
or if you should increase your self-care
with your doctor's guidance.
Number three.
Living the daydream out loud.
Sit back for a quick second and imagine what you'd say
if you had a chance to run into your favorite celebrity.
Did you half-smile,
maybe raise your eyebrow at the thought?
That's normal
and we bet it was at least a little bit fun to imagine that.
And now you're outta the daydream.
In fact, while you were imagining the scenario,
you still knew where you were for real.
If you were maladaptive daydreaming,
someone in the same space as you
may have observed you talking out loud,
pacing or making motions
like you were interacting with the invisible person.
You were so into the fantasy
that the ability to tell the difference
between that and reality was lost.
So you just started living the dream literally.
Number four.
The daydreaming evicts night dreaming, we mean insomnia.
Maladaptive daydreaming can play a big part in not sleeping.
The daydreams and fantasy scenarios
become so obsessively engrossing
that it keeps the part of your brain associated with it
turned on and awake, instead of letting it rest,
like it normally would at bedtime.
Even worse, the insomniac brain
can have trouble properly turning on the regions
critical to the ability to focus
and concentrate for working memory.
This makes it even easier to slip into daydream mode,
not a good cycle.
Improving sleep can help somewhat
and there are entire studies, labs, and regimens
that could help.
Just look under sleep hygiene.
And number five, lucid daydreaming.
When exiting out of a normal daydream,
generally, you give yourself a little mental nudge
to shake off the soft focus camera in your head.
You are back to the humdrum work meeting
and you might quickly whisper to someone next to you,
"Uh, what did the manager just say?",
having realized you didn't really listen to them
for the last 60 seconds.
Basically, you know you are daydreaming, you're now back,
and you just wanna catch up on what you missed.
Maladaptive daydreams
are more like being stuck in the matrix and you're not Neo,
but you might be one of the crew members.
You know you're in the daydream,
but you don't know how to get back in touch
with the operator to get back to the real
or are you in the real already?
What's real and isn't real
doesn't have a clear division
for the maladaptive daydreamer.
This is distressing
as they just aren't sure what they can trust.
Daydreams are normal
and can keep us from becoming overly tense or snapping.
They can even be useful, helping us plan events
or giving a little juice to our creativity.
When daydreams go bad, though, we need to turn to self-care.
As the saying goes,
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself."
And maybe have a professional do the checking.
Have you noticed any of these things with yourself
or with others?
How has it affected you?
We welcome your insights and comments.
Your life might not always be cupcakes and unicorns,
but it's real, which makes it that much more precious.
So stop daydreaming, give us a like, and we'll see you soon.