hey guys welcome to a new video
okay so it is the 18th of february so i'm gonna put my weigh-in right here
so that means since starting noon three days ago i'm down like 1.6 so i feel good about that i am
logging all my calories i don't really feel comfortable giving like a calorie limit of
what i'm eating right now uh mainly because i just feel kind of self-conscious about it and i don't
really want people to explain my opinion anyways um today has been super busy i have been packing
so i'm staying at a friend's house this weekend i have been just getting ready for the day cleaning
up a bit because i wanna come home to like a clean apartment um i am bringing my scale with me
because i know you guys have been wondering if i'm gonna be doing that because i do have a mukbang
that will be going up tomorrow where i talk about okay am i going to bring the scale with me so i am
noom also wants you to weigh in every day so i have that support plus my girlfriend weighs in
every day so i have that support i just realized i forgot to put on lipstick that's okay so this is
like one of my most favorite shirts i couldn't wear it for the longest time because it didn't
fit me i got it from forehead and if it's now so i love that for me okay so we're in the car got my
bluetooth music ready to go i have it on shuffle on my spotify waves by mr probs it's gonna be the
first song uh my girlfriend is actually in the store she's gonna get herself an energy drink
and i think she's gonna get me a little snack and a diet coke we have twinkie waiting for
her my girlfriend actually got her this coat isn't it so cute because it's been cold out
cheeky stories oh and you guys my scale is down there that's what that contraption is
okay you guys so it's february 20th it's been a couple days i didn't film anything i think i put
myself in the mall for maybe a total of two seconds probably one second which here it is
i had such a good weekend and as the weekend was ending i was like you know what i wish i would
have filmed such a long but amazing weekend i just need to get better at like filming it so my bad
went places went shopping literally went to the mall like it was just such a good time thoroughly
enjoyed it and you guys are about to get a grocery haul though so because instacart's on its way
uh we didn't really feel like going to the actual grocery store so we just did in this cart
and i did not actually weigh myself while i was at my friend's house mainly because i was like what's
the point because i actually don't have permission to film inside their home and i know a lot of
people don't want their like home on youtube so i understand but i did weigh myself i want to
say it was like 30 minutes ago that's a lot when i go on my period i blow a lot more which i know a
lot of girls understand that and it does mess up the scale a lot and it frustrates me because it
makes me want to feel discouraged i have to keep reminding myself that you know period weight isn't
true it was after i ate a full-fledged meal um been in the car for quite a bit of time the last
few days and so i am swollen all that um i did get back up to 500.6 really like just the mixture of
things is just a fluctuation but i'm okay with that um i'm okay with that like that's totally
fine there was a little bit of alcohol this weekend so this weekend was definitely um not
in my weight loss plan but i'm not gonna sit here and justify it is what it is i had a good time
okay grocery haul i got two things of baby carrots got some peeled fresh garlic got a thing of cherry
or this is not a cherry this is a strawberry got some pineapples watermelon i recently wrote a poem
called watermelon kisses so if you guys are wondering about that you want got some cuties
i needed some more jazz and rice because we have this like almost every single night got some honey
i'm gonna be eating this tonight it is what it is it's haagen-dazs honey salted caramel almond
pretty excited for that got some sara lee delight bread this is the honey whole wheat
bananas got some grates to put in the freezer because i personally think grapes frozen tastes
way better than just like fridge grapes got some scallions two things of ground chicken soy sauce
so this is oatmeal i figured i figured i'd give it a try it's better oats it's 100 calories maple
and brown sugar tylenol some fancy feast petites for my fur babies oh i forgot i also got a ton
of broccoli and some diet coke i'm done this was underneath the broccoli
also some fresh cherries okay you guys hello it is the next day um i'm gonna have a little taste
test moment so me and my girlfriend are curious what they taste like so we got all four flavors
this is the passion fruit refresher strawberry dragon fruit refresher this is the strawberry
coconut refresher and then golden peach coconut refresher so i'm going to try them
on camera obviously my girlfriend's not and then i'll tell you guys what her favorite is
and what my favorite is right now we're actually cooking dinner our go-to um jasmine rice broccoli
and meatballs we're doing honey garlic meatballs i usually tend to the broccoli and the rice i
actually need to cook rice from scratch now because of her all right first thing passion fruit
our peach fruit what is this i don't remember oh peach passion fruit wow
i like it sweet
uh this is the coconut strawberry coconut i don't like that one as much peach coconut
i don't like that one as much and then strawberry fruit
okay
these are my foods now we're going to blend it down to just one
oh makes it taste good but if i had to choose the winner for me is the strawberry dragon fruit
professor with no coconut okay so it's official we both hate the ones with the coconut and her
favorite is the same as mine so these are our top two but i'm gonna let her have this one and then
i'm gonna have this one because i do enjoy it also you guys i have finished my piano lego right here
so we're gonna put it somewhere for decor okay you guys so this is my next lego it is the world map
this is lego's wall art yeah this one has over 11 000 pieces so this is gonna take a hot minute hey
guys so it is the next day the 22nd um so update on the whole 100 days of weighing in i'm no longer
going to be sharing that with youtube right now because i'm just i'm at a really bad spot with
my eating disorder and i am so glad i finally took the plunge to get help i'm just really really
anticipating and like a really good way to finally see someone about this the actual person that i
should have been seen from the very beginning you know therapy will help you but therapy doesn't
help everyone but i'm going to give it a shot even though i feel like everything they're going
to tell me is stuff i already know i know all this knowledge i just don't put it into action
like even years and years and years ago when i noticed my binging was getting worse i should have
gotten this type of help before i got so out of hand but i do want to show
you guys my weigh-in for today hey i'm a mukbang channel and i've gained 125 pounds
sorry i was thirsty you know my channel is not a weight loss channel it's a channel about me
but i really feel like obviously a large portion of my life right now is trying to
live with an eating disorder without letting it ruin my life while trying to dye it well
it's like all a vicious cycle because like dieting is making my eating disorder worse which
is making me gain weight but then it's like this vicious circle cycle and i'm just so excited to
finally see someone who can help me i wanna be skinny but i wanna eat [ __ ] and that's why my
life is problematic so here's my weigh-in for today we're at a 503.6 that is horrible i feel
it like i was just talking to my girlfriend today i was like it's so weird by the way the
lighting's really bad in here i'm sorry look at that little baby it's like so weird how
normally a few pounds you can't notice a difference but it's like whenever i get back
to like the 500 it's even something as simple as 503 my breathing is bad my legs are super swollen
it's harder to walk like it's so crazy like the difference between like 495 versus 503 and that's
only like 8 pounds the difference in way my body feels is insane to me hey guys so it is the next
day today so right now i'm just having a tv dinner so i'm having a tv dinner amy's three cheese and
kale bake just gave the cat some wet food gave twinkies some wet food they all eat dry food but
um a couple times a week i do give them like food because it's good for them so by the way when it
comes to my outpatient program i will be starting when i see a psychologist for my eating disorder
i think people were confused i thought it was a month away because i said it's next month but next
month is literally right around the corner what i meant to say it's like two weeks away so it's
very very close and i'm just like really excited but yeah today's been just kind of like a busy day
laundry day i've done three loads of laundry and then i also cleaned the sheets on the bed
don't forget to do that anyways i'm on this vlog i hope you guys enjoyed it and i'll see you next one
and if you bye the bottom i'm going down with you let's take it who cares