is detachment something you do in real time or is it before or after an event I
think I've heard you describe both is it both no it is not both it is not both
actually it if you think about it okay the detachment that we're talking
about is when you get involved in these situations you got to detach yourself
from him so that you can make good decision so that you can see things
clearly so that you can assess things clearly that's why you detach from these
situations so technically if before or after an event you are detached from
them right because that's me they're not happening at that time now I guess you
could be so emotional about an event that even after it happens you could
still not see it clearly because you can't attachment so I guess I could give
it to you that okay yeah and before it you could be so amped up about it and so
nervous about it and so emotional about it that I guess beforehand you could so
I guess I guess I am wrong I am talking about detaching throughout the process
right but even if you're if you have to detach beforehand you're not detaching
on the incoming situation you have to detach from your current yes being
nervous about the uncover right right right and that may help you prep and
I'll talk about that a little bit but the skill itself is being able to detach
during the event mm-hmm and I'll tell you once you do detach from it it's
actually pretty easy but to punch through that gravity that your brain
makes with emotion and chaos and mayhem that's the hard part the hard part is to
notice that you're stuck in the gravitational pull of all that emotion
so you've got to pay attention to that in and what you really want to try and
do is try and it's what you just said trying to attach yourself before the
gravity and the gravity of the emotions and the chaos builds up if you can
detach before that then you'd have to break through it you're already outside
that realm and so then it's it's it's much easier so it's like there's
quicksand in front of you and it's much easy
to just see the quick stand and just say I'm not gonna step in there then it is
to walk in there go up into your waist and start feeling getting sucked down
and then decide oh I'm gonna pull myself up that it's a lot harder yeah so you
gotta look for those signs you gotta look for that moment when you start
feeling emotional you know that it's gonna be something emotionally you've
got to step back from those and get get yourself in the habit of asking yourself
what do I look like right now what does Jocko look like right now what
does Jocko sound like right now listen to yourself talk listen to the words
that are coming out of your mouth and see if your being a reasonable human or
not and I'll tell you one thing that I I do I kind of see is you know when I'm in
the movie The Terminator when he sees like the the various responses he could
give well when I'm feet when I'm really good
you know in a very detached mode and I'm having a conversation with someone I
like see the options in my head of what I could say to him and I oh yeah that'll
make a mad oh yeah that's too offensive okay that Lots a good one hey buddy but
what wha so I think that that mindset kind of works pretty good but again look
for the signs look for the quicksand look for the emotional quicksand and
don't step in at the emotion of the anger the frustration there's little
physical signs too when you start feeling the sweat beating up when you
start feeling hot like you literally start feeling hot that should be a big
red flag yeah that warmth that flushes through your face that's not good yeah
the breathing when you start getting when your breathing starts increasing
your pulse was going that's the stuff you've got a notice to say to yourself
oh there it is there it is hmm that's the quicksand of emotion and confusion
and chaos you don't want to step into it you want to pull yourself back
the takeaway there is like be like the Terminator no I'm not saying be like the
Terminator that was a that was a comparison of thinking of being able to
visualize the options that you have and if you're emotional you don't think like
that when you're emotional you're just you're just blurting out whatever is
gonna come out of your mouth but when you're detached a little bit you go okay
I could say this I could say that oh this is answer three and they say it's
like a problem-solving yeah tactic it's interesting because on
the Terminator he blurted out analytically he blurted out an emotional
response because he's acting like a person remember that remember what he
said I don't punch her profanity when he's in the thing he's looking he's all
shot up and the superintendent or whatever the whatever it's knocking on
the motel door hey buddy you got a dead cat in there what cuz all these flashes
riding off so he looks through his responses and they're pretty funny if
you read them I forget exactly what they are but he goes like the one he chose
fuck you asshole hmm that was it you know yeah I do remember that yeah that
was pretty deal the fake emotions which sometimes which I've talked about before
sometimes you got to use the fake emotions the switcheroo yeah or is that
what's good for the goose is good for the know it's like when your kid is not
getting you're not listening to what you're saying you're not having the
impact that you want a house you got to show a little bit of anger yeah turn up
the heat that's kind of good too and don't get
crazy with it right as far as with the kids where if you show anger not only is
it like a powerful thing in there you'd like oh shoot this is powerful it
demonstrates to them that you care about what we're talking about right now it I
care about Jackson you know rather you know rather than I'm just a machine a
robot yeah yeah I don't care but I know I'm supposed to tell you this kind of
feeling