- Be honest. Is it meme or me-me?
Huge thanks to Audible for sponsoring this video.
Be-whoop!
If a UTI was an outfit.
(Mike laughing)
I would say that's more like heartburn.
But it could be a UTI. Because it burns when you pee.
Dysuria, one of the common symptoms of a UTI.
The bad news is the operation was unsuccessful.
The good news is I'm working on
not defining myself by my failure.
Well, at least your doctor left room for growth.
Where does almond milk come from?
Nobody. My brain.
(Mike laughing)
Honestly, I don't really know where almond milk.
I guess you could squeeze the (bleep) out of the nut.
(Cameraman laughing)
Puns about the body are generally corny,
but puns about the eyes are even cornea.
(Mike and cameraman laughing)
My dad barometer joke is a spinning.
Someone: Cats heal people.
30 year old me: Got a cat.
Cat: No way brother.
Is that a toothpick?
- [Cameraman] It is a cigarette.
- Oh, such a good image.
I'm worthless.
Actually. He's like I can sell some stuff.
One of the cool things they don't tell you
about your thirties is you can hurt your neck
by turning to look at something
which is wild because that is the neck's main job.
Oh, this is so true.
And then I decided as a genius doctor to say,
well how about I let people hit me,
rotating my neck abruptly.
And that's somehow going to help.
The idea of hurting your neck while turning it
is because we're not moving enough.
We need to stay mobile.
We need to increase our range of motion.
When you do that, you actually get more circulation,
more healing, more range of motion, less injury.
Couple who tried to conceive for 17 years
welcome sextuplets.
When you hit print hella times,
and all the copies come out at once.
Facts.
My suspicion being that I'm in medicine
is that they probably had IVF.
And when you have IVF, you have higher rates
of twins, triplets, and I'm assuming sextuplets as well.
Are you a Myelin sheath?
Because you're getting on my nerves.
No.
Because if you are a myelin sheath, you'd love to cuddle.
Myelin sheaths literally cuddle your nerves
and they speed it up.
Honestly. I think if I was a part of the body,
I'd be a myelin sheath, because I feel like I'm very fast.
And I also like to cuddle. Ask Bear.
How to burn thousands of calories in just a few minutes.
You literally burned it.
- [Cameraman] You burned a lot of calories recently?
- Yeah. Boxing today think I burned 1400.
Yeah.
And who texted you this?
Should be who Snapchatted you this.
Me Extremely burnt out:
I need to take the day off to relax.
Also me: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax
that would be more productive.
We have split into two extremes of
hyper productive individuals, and those who are cool
to just to sit and melt into their chairs.
And I wish we can somehow come more towards the middle.
I can't find any reason for your discomfort.
It must be the alcohol.
Then I'll come back when you're sober.
I will say doctors do tend to do that.
Like if they can't find something wrong,
they just like pick a random thing to blame it on.
I prefer being honest and being like,
no idea.
We'll keep looking or we can try certain things,
eliminate certain things.
But also you shouldn't be drunk as a doctor.
Me when I break my leg.
I know where this is from Inglorious Basterds.
Such a good movie.
Dominic Decoco.
- Bravo.
That's not recommended.
Because when you break a bone,
you want to avoid putting excess pressure on that bone.
So I don't know what could be broken here
that they would do it in the shape of a heel.
Not a good idea.
Pregnant, non pregnant, positive.
Damn, hope you feel better. Quarantine.
Are you stupid?
I guess they misread the test there.
And by the way for those who don't know,
these quick acting tests,
whether it's for COVID or pregnancy,
if there's even a faint line for the positive,
that's a positive test.
So if anything pops up it's positive.
To avoid straining your eyes
when you're continuously working,
follow the 20-20-20 rule.
I say that all the time.
After 20 minutes of work, look at something 20 feet away
then spend 20 years of the forest.
You might think this is a joke.
The 20-20-20 rule is actually
every 20 minutes look at a point,
20 feet away, for 20 seconds.
That will help your eyes relax.
But this is not wrong.
Spending time in the forest
with objects that are far away from you,
helps your pupil, relax and your eyes relax.
So looking at things in the distance
for 20 years in the forest is healthy for your eyes.
Back to the memes in just a second.
But first I want to thank Audible for sponsoring this video.
Last week I interviewed Dr. Paul Offit
about his book Overkill,
when modern medicine goes too far.
I found this book on Audible,
and thought it was so interesting
that I actually begged Dr. Offit
to come on the channel to discuss it some more.
In particular, we talked about the myths
of biohacking, and Silicon valley medicine,
and how certain modern medicine treatments
make absolutely no sense.
Make sure to go watch that interview after this video
and sign up for Audible today,
by going to audible.com/doctormike
or text Doctor Mike to the number 500 500.
Remember though, Doctor Mike is spelled out,
and begin your free 30 day trial.
With that you'll have access
to Audible's premium selection
and Audible plus catalog
giving you access to the latest best sellers,
guided meditations, podcasts, and so much more.
The link to sign up is down below
and the end card after this video will take you straight
to my interview with Dr. Offit.
All right, let's get back to some memes.
Why you showing me?
I was with you yesterday.
And? I had a vasectomy last year. It ain't mine.
Why can't people figure it out?
Aren't you curious what it is?
And how do you even know that's positive?
Unless they scan the QR code.
Chakras.
We need Shaq to come back and coach the Lakers.
Let me know if you agree.
New doctor: So tell me a little bit about what's going on.
Me: Massive engine failure.
You know someone wise once told me
that a doctor should always look under the hood,
but not go over your head.
But in reality, a lot of things go wrong
with the human body.
We don't have electrical systems that can be plugged
into a device that's to tell us what the errors are.
But I guess you could make a claim
that an EKG is sort of like that.
We stick on little leads, and then all of a sudden we know
kind of what's going on with your heart.
Me: I have a headache.
Web MD: And it'll be your last.
Everything Web MD will be your last.
I'm surprised they even allow advertisers
to advertise on it, because it feels
like all their users are about to die.
How is that a profitable business model?
Do they go to advertise and say,
Hey, people come to our website
and we tell them all they're going to die.
Might not, but they probably will.
So don't you want to advertise to them?
Facial reconstructive surgery.
You mean boxing?
This could have been, I dubs circa a hundred years ago
- [Cameraman] Needs a few more tattoos, but yeah.
- True.
Ex-ercise?
Ex-tra fries?
There's something about a fry that is boring to me.
It's almost like salty bread.
Do you eat salty bread?
Why would you eat a salty potato?
Cheesy fries. I get it. I get the cheesy fry.
But just a potato stick?
The down votes on this video are palpable.
- [Cameraman] Sound off in the comments folks.
- Hey, I just met you, and this is rabies
but here's my lumbar dipped in gravy.
Why would you show someone?
I guess you could show them your lumbar.
If you're trying to like show them booty a little bit.
Hey Bear. You got rabies? Brought us some rabies.
Can I get kiss?
(dog licking)
Thank you. You have rabies?
Oh my God. Do not fall for this BS.
Someone has been using my image
and trying to get people to believe
that there's a magical pill for diabetes.
And I've reported them. We've gotten them taken down.
They keep changing their name, changing the website.
Please do not fall for this.
It is full on scam spam.
In fact if you see it, report it, call the FBI.
Maybe don't call the FBI.
I don't think this is an FBI issue.
When you're about to die, but Batman got your back.
That's not, that's not Batman.
That's the death reaper coming for your cardiac muscle.
My emotional support dog after one day with me.
The dog needs emotional support.
That's how Bear feels over there.
But this is also sending the wrong message folks.
Do not cope with your stresses
by doing what this dog is doing.
Me: Carbs.
Is this Kim and Pete?
This looks like a Staten Island restaurant,
based on the Italian food, the diet Cokes, the straws,
the sauna like background.
No tendons, just tendies.
Well there is also, if we're being accurate here,
no muscles, ligaments, connective tissue,
fascia, organs, nerves, blood vessels,
lymph nodes, skin, fingernails, hair.
Okay. I'll stop.
Doctor: Our x-rays showed you swallowed a light bulb.
Me: I guess you could say I'm,
Doctor: Don't do this.
Me: Lit AF.
Doctor: Get out.
I hope the doctor really didn't say get out.
It's a really big problem.
Light bulb is going to break.
It's going to fracture.
It's going to shatter.
It's going to cut things.
Person's going to bleed internally.
Gastric juices are going to spill.
Irritation will happen. An SBO will occur.
SBP is what I really meant to say.
Spontaneous bacterial peritonitis. That's what it was.
I didn't even have to look it up.
My brain just worked.
Meme review. Dr. Mike. Asking questions. Playing games.
I don't get it.
- [Cameraman] I think that's reference
to responding to comments videos.
You're giving all your attention to meme review videos.
- Oh. Oh yeah.
We haven't played games.
What games should we play?
- [Cameraman] Let us know.
- I would play another apex game.
- [Cameraman] We want to play a game.
- I want to play apex.
I've been like sharpening up my skills a little bit.
I've been playing with bloodhound.
This is one shame to the medical profession.
Such unprofessional handwriting.
Unprofessional. That's fire.
Are you kidding me?
- [Cameraman] That's why it's unprofessional.
- Oh, true.
- [Cameraman] (laughing) You get it.
And you're disappointed.
- I get it.
And also they're putting two prescriptions on the one pad.
I'm not a huge fan of that.
Take one with food. Every four hours as needed.
They're treating fever very aggressively.
Maybe you don't need to treat fever aggressively.
I think we talked about that
on my interview with Dr. Offit.
Last week at the drug store,
someone threw a bottle of fish oil supplements at me.
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.
Superficial.
- [Cameraman] There you go.
- My husband just swallowed a paracetamol.
What shall I do?
Well that is just Tylenol in Europe.
Give him a headache now. Why waste the medicine?
Yeah, if it was just one and he doesn't have like an allergy
I don't know what the issue here is.
Acetaminophen and paracetamol
can cause problems with your liver
if you ingest too much.
It's one of the most common causes of liver inflammation.
People overusing those.
My therapist says I have cognitive distortions brought
on by extreme anxiety,
but the way he said it makes me feel like he's mad at me.
Well, that's exactly what a cognitive distortion is.
When you do not give charitable thinking,
you make assumptions, and you mind read.
Those are two proper examples of cognitive distortions.
I believe this chicken stuffer is made by Pampered Chef,
because it's really durable and seems to be high quality.
My mom always used it to hold the chicken open,
while she put the stuffing in.
It works really good, but I'm not much of a cook.
That is what we used to perform vaginal exams.
Pap smears.
My younger residents struggle
with pap smears in using the speculum.
Like oftentimes I have to make some adjustments.
Like when they put the speculum in, they open it.
So you get a good field of view, which is important.
And then in taking it out,
they do what the rational thing is
or the common sense thing.
They say close it before taking it out.
So you don't take out an open speculum.
But also when you do this,
you can slam some of the, and pinch some of the tissue.
So you got to close it a little bit, but gently take it out.
Can you imagine how much that hurts?
- [Cameraman] God bless you ladies.
- Again, check out my interview with Dr. Paul Offit.
Such a good conversation.
He makes it so easy to understand.
And him and I align on a lot of points.
Check it out.
You're definitely going to enjoy it.
As always stay happy and healthy.
(funky upbeat music)