Ellen, "name three terms for hooking up."
Getting down with it, hittin' it hard, doin' the dirty.
[DING]
[MUSIC - JASON DERULO, "TALK DIRTY TO ME"]
Talk dirty to me.
"What's the sexiest part of a man?"
His, well, thing, the thing.
So you are obviously in a private bungalow.
Yep, it was, like, a couple of days later, [INAUDIBLE] hit me.
He was like, yo, I hate to tell you this,
but your penis is on the internet.
It's like I don't know what this is going to look like.
And then, it wasn't as, like, bad
as I thought it was going to be.
Yeah.
It wasn't [INAUDIBLE]
Apparently Barbie is making Fifty Shades of Gray dolls.
You've been a naughty girl, Anastasia.
You've been-- licorice, licorice, licorice.
I decide that we're going to go into a business of vibrators
for older women.
The directions have large print--
Wait, wait, I have to look at it first because this is daytime.
I don't know if we can show it.
So let me--
I don't even like the box already.
I cannot show that.
Oh my God.
(SINGING) Turn it up.
Turn it up.
Tell me what's your name now?
Any name that I want to be.
What happens when you're in bed?
What do the women call you?
What-- come on, I'm setting you up, here.
No, they-- yeah, they usually scream "God."
Uh-huh.
[INAUDIBLE]
Thank you.
Graduations are really interesting to me
because the tassel on the cap is a big deal, that tassel thing.
And if you have tassels on your chest,
you might be putting yourself through college.
Mm, you know, just--
'Cause I know you love games and I love games.
Yes.
So what they give you in the hospital are these breathing
things, right?
And whoever can suck their balls the hardest wins.
OK, ready?
You suck, not blow?
You-- of course I'd have to teach her.
Yes, Ellen, my God.
You could seem like a real creeper if I'm like, yo,
would you like the special on a snake massage?
Like, where's the first thing your mind goes?
I don't know.
Where does your mind go?
You know where it went.
[LAUGHS]
The snake is like a penis, you know, like--
that was my first time saying penis on the show.
I don't think I'm going to do that.
"Craziest place you've had sex?"
My [BLEEP].
[DING]
"My spouse gives the best--"
[BLEEP]
[DING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Will you do it?
This is Derek.
He gets up, he goes--
Yeah!
[INAUDIBLE] my Spanx!
He really does.
Wow.
We went to go see Magic Mike Live together.
Let me tell you something that I learned tonight.
I'm still on my team, but I get it.
I get it.
"Never have I ever sexted."
[SCREAMS]
Wow, Martha.
Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm here today.
I don't want to miss out on this unicorn craze.
Yeah.
I don't think we thought this through.
"Adele, name three names for your lady parts."
Mini-moo, vajajay, and a pizza.
[DING]
[LAUGHS]
Yeah.
You just lie back in the bed right there.
OK.
[INAUDIBLE]
It looks like you're getting ready to give birth
right there.
It looks like--
Yeah, I was just trying to show the world how I got pregnant
in the first place.
I see.
Like that.
Like that?
Like that.
We really should be on after dark, I think.