-Welcome back. We're talking to Madonna, everybody.
Her album
"Finally Enough Love: 50 Number Ones"
is out August 19th.
How is the -- How is the family, by the way?
How's my man Dave?
-Your man Dave is alright, you know?
He's a -- First of all, he's a huge fan of yours.
-I love -- I'm a fan of Dave.
-He's so jealous that I'm sitting next to you right now.
I think he was going to come here tonight,
but he had a boxing lesson today.
-Is he boxing? -Dave, are you here?
No, he's not here. -No, he's not here.
David?!
-Dave! -Dave!
[ Laughter ]
Tell him I said hi, will you, please?
-You know, he makes music now, too.
He's gonna end up being one of your guests.
-He is, right? He's got something.
He's got "it." -Something?
-Yeah, he's got "it." He's got magic. He's funny.
He's charming. He's athletic.
He's a good-looking dude.
-He can put on any outfit and look swag as you know what.
-Yeah. -It's really irritating.
-Does he ever give you feedback?
-He wears my clothes and looks better in them.
-How does he -- -He can even wear a dress
and look butch.
Ooh. Speaking of butch...
[ Laughter ]
I got a present for you. -What?
-It's a little handbag and it says "butch."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-For real?
-Yeah, put it on. -Look at this.
-You got to put it around -- put it around your neck.
-Let me just see it. This is --
-Let me just show you how to do it.
-You know, I have one of these already.
-Do you? -No, of course not.
-Put your arm through it. -Oh, my gosh.
This is -- -There you go.
-That's it right there. Should I wear this?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Are you kidding me?
-You got swag.
-I think this is so -- this is so cool.
I found like -- -You can put your coins in it.
-Yeah, my MetroCard. I'll fold up my MetroCard.
Put it in there. I go, "I'm sorry, guys.
I've got to get in the subway."
-Yeah, you can put your --
-"Watch out. Butch is coming through!
[ Laughter and applause ]
You guys met Butch?"
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
I love this. I am honored. Thank you for this.
Oh, my gosh. I'm going to treasure this.
I'll wear this all the time. Yes!
-You're lying.
-You know, there's so many artists on this thing.
I was looking through it. I'm like --
We know a lot of people. Britney Spears is on this one.
Timberlake. Nicki Minaj.
Are there any -- -Nile Rodgers.
-Nile Rodgers, of course. The one and only.
Are there any people that you go like,
"I think eventually I want to do something with them,"
or you haven't done that you want to?
-I mean, there's one artist that I worship
more than anything in life and I would love to collaborate
with him, and that's Kendrick Lamar.
-Well. Yeah. Wow. [ Cheers and applause ]
I thought you were gonna say -- -His new record is --
His new record is, like, history-making.
-It is unbelievable, right?
-Mind-bogglingly brilliant, yeah.
It's insane. Have you had him on your show yet?
-Yeah. He is mind-boggling.
He's brilliant. -So talented.
-You -- You brought up something when we were doing
our bit -- you said maybe you want to do this.
And I don't know if you still want to do it.
-What? Host your show? -No.
You said you wanted to play this thing with me where we --
-Yeah, I want to play all kinds of games with you.
But for now -- I told you. Seduction.
-But you have -- -Okay. "Finally Enough Love."
-This is every letter of the alphabet on these cards.
Okay? And you -- you wanted -- -That's 26.
He didn't know it at the time.
-I knew it was in the 20s.
But you wanted me to shuffle this around,
and then we'll pick one and then just say the first word
that comes to our mind and then analyze each other?
-Yeah, well, this is how we get to know each other,
and also the audience can get to know one --
you know, you, more importantly.
They already know everything about me.
-I think this is a good idea. -But have you shuffled them?
-No. -I think we should.
-I will shuffle them.
-So, should we -- But I need to take 13 for myself.
1, 2, 3, 4...
-I'm not doing 13 letters of the alphabet.
The show is only an hour long.
-...5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Make it longer.
10, 11...
-I'm not making the show longer. -12, 13. Why not?
-I don't know. -It should be.
It's fun. I'm fun.
-You are more than fun. Alright. Who goes first?
-Okay, this is a psychoanalytic game.
And so what we're going to do is turn the card over.
And I'll go first.
And whatever comes to my mind, I'm going to say the word.
I'm just going to blurt it right out.
-Okay. And then -- -So be brave.
-Yes. -Don't censor yourself.
And I'm not going to, either.
-Go. -For once.
-Okay.
-Oh, my God. I got a P. [Bleep]
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I knew that was gonna happen! -What in the world?!
Out of all the letters in the alphabet.
-Yeah, but -- -How in the world --
-The universe wanted me to get that letter.
Your turn.
-[ Laughs ]
This is insane, by the way.
♪♪
Jimmy.
-Ohh.
My favorite song on the "True Blue" album.
-You think that's about you, don't you?
-"Jimmy, Jimmy" is about me, yeah.
That's bizarre, by the way. We just picked --
-You get the safe letters. -Yeah.
-Okay. I'm next.
[ Breathes deeply ]
Revolting.
-What's revolting? -Ignorance.
-Yeah.
[ Applause ]
-Think about it. I just went deep.
I went there. I like that sound.
[ Laughter ]
Go for it.
-I mean, if I don't say "xylophone,"
I'm going to say "Madame X."
-Oh, God. -What else am I going to say?
-X-rated.
-Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Of course I went to xylophone.
That's why we -- [ Laughter ]
-That's why you get paid the medium bucks.
-That's why you get paid the big b-- the medium bucks.
I'm stealing that. That's funny.
Alright. Go.
♪♪
-Hoe!
[ Laughter ]
-What in the world is going on? -I'm sorry.
-God keeps giving me these provocative letters.
♪♪
-This is unbelievable.
-You're doing this on purpose. -I swear I'm not.
This is all random. Look at all these.
These are all random letters. I'm not doing this on purpose.
-How do we even know? You're David Blaine.
-Let's just do the -- Let's do the last one.
-Well, you didn't say the -- what comes to mind.
-The one and only, Madonna, of course comes to mind.
What are you talking about? What am I supposed to do?
Think of another one? Mom? Mommy? Mommy?!
You want me to break down -- -Yeah.
-And talk -- -Cry.
-[Voice breaking] And talk about my childhood?
I promised myself I wouldn't do it. Not here.
[Normal voice] Alright, ready?
-Wait. Is this the last one? God. Time goes by so fast.
-Why don't we do one
and we both say the same word at the same time?
No matter what it is. -Okay.
[ Drum roll ]
Oh, no.
Oh, what?
Z--
-Zebra.
Wait. Z?
Zelda. -Xylophone?
[ Laughter ]
-Can make it an "N." "Xylophone."
[ Laughter ]
-That's the worst letter. -It's the worst letter.
-It should be at the end. -Ready?
-Yes.
[ Drum roll ]
-[ Laughs ]
-Wet. -Winner.
Okay. Alright, alright.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-[Bleep] happens.
I'm sorry.
Temptations. -Tattle tale.
Okay.
-My words are better than yours.
-They are.
-You're so PG.
Idiot! -Icon.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Madonna, everybody!
"Finally Enough Love: 50 Number Ones"
is available August 19th.
Elvis Costello joins us after the break.
Stick around, everybody!