hello in this video i'm going to show you how to overcome the fear of driving using some dice
and a pen and paper my name's paul and i work online with people all over the world
to help them overcome their fear of driving after having spent 20 years
as a driving instructor this video contains a fun technique that you'll enjoy doing especially
if you do it with someone else now you can do this on your own but it's just a little bit more
difficult if you do on your own you'll need the dice if you do with someone all you really need
is a pen and paper and what this does is it's going to mix up what happens so
i often say in my videos that driving anxiety has nothing to do with driving and that's true
and they also talk about symptoms and how the anxiety is a symptom and not the root cause
this video will not fix the root cause but what it can do is scramble the symptoms so it makes it so
that when you're driving what normally happens doesn't happen so let's say you start to panic
and your hands freeze on the wheel and you start shaking and sweating this can remove
those symptoms you won't necessarily fix everything although it can for some people
but it's designed to help as many people as i can so let's get on with it what i need to do is first
of all this will work better for you if you are someone who struggles with hypnosis or relaxing
or focusing on things in your mind because some people find that harder to do than others
if that's the case this will work really well for you it doesn't matter if that's not the
case it will also work as well it's also really handy if you can identify several steps or stages
in your problem so we're going to go through this at the moment but some people say well the first
thing happens is i always get stomach pains then he goes to a tightness in my chest then my hands
start sweating if you don't have a clear set of steps that happens like that this is probably not
the best thing for you to do however you can still give it a go but we're going to make a series of
steps so imagine you're sitting with a friend and your friend is effectively the therapist so
the first thing to do is we need to write down between four to seven steps of what actually
happens when the problem begins so i'm gonna make this up but i'm gonna write down one two three
four five so i'm gonna do this with five imaginary steps so let's pretend that when i go out driving
first thing that happens is i get stomachache so when i write down one stomach ache
let's imagine next thing is my chest gets a bit tight so two chest goes tight
and then let's say number three is that my shoulders start to ache and these are all very
common things the clients have said to me over the years with hundreds of people i've helped
number four sweaty palms let's say your palms of your hands start sweating and number five is let's
say you grip the wheel really tightly so we've got there five things you need to have at least four
you'll see why in a moment and i'll tell you a funny story about how this went wrong when i did
this with a client once so if you only have one two or three steps you'll see why it won't work
you can have more than seven but that can be difficult to make you work as you'll see why
in a moment so three to seven steps is ideal so what you do is you then need to be able to recall
these steps in your mind so if your friend is saying to you what step one and you say
stomachache what's step two my chest goes tight now i'm having to read this because i'm making
a serpee talk role play but for someone who's really got the problem they'll be able to do
this easily step three shoulders awaken step four sweaty palms step five gripping the wheel tightly
and you need to run through this until the person who has the problem can remember each step clearly
if they're thinking always up step two four you've got to make sure they can say one stomach ache
two chest goes tight three shoulders ache four sweaty palms five gripping the wheel
do it again one stomach ache two chest goes type run through three times in a row
at least that must get it correct unless they've done that you're not ready to move on
the next step is what you're going to do is to associate a state with each thing so what it means
is quite simply you want the person the client to experience what they're saying so instead
of just saying stomach ache you might say okay so close your eyes can you imagine that stomach ache
no you need to imagine you imagine you're in the car imagine the sights when your eyes are open
the sounds the feelings the wind coming through the car you need to understand everyone
experiences the world in different ways so there are five senses touch taste smell hearing and
the other one i can never remember five when i say but there were five you know the five senses
i'll deal with all this seeing smelling tasting hearing and touching i think that's why but
there are five ways we experience the world and everyone experiences in different ways
for some people they see things better so if you said someone can you see yourself in the car
oh yeah i can see you there but for other people they say no then this is therapy
often goes wrong because most people are visual but that doesn't mean everyone is so never assume
that just because you see things other people do so your friend your client who are doing this with
you might help to say can you imagine you're in the car and you can feel the wind blowing
through the window if they say no what can you hear and i'll tell you i can hear the traffic
everyone experiences the world in different ways so you wonder what we call anchor these states
so you say okay you've got a stomach ache and your friend the client whatever you're working
with might say yeah i can feel it when my stomach is starting to feel like it does when i'm in the
car great next one the chest goes tight now if you can't physically feel in sometimes some
people will actually start to live this as you do it if that happens great you're doing really well
doesn't matter if it doesn't doesn't work for everyone but it's a great sign if that happens
so you run through each of the steps and you must get them to feel that feeling the stomach ache
the chest going tight the shoulders aching and you may find when you do this with people that
may even start to go yeah i can feel and they're actually feeling the shoulder as they're taking
and this believe it or not is hypnosis they're imagining it but it's not actually happening
so you went through each one of those five things and you must get this good it's no good you say no
step one on my stomach step two chest goes tight yeah yeah yeah yeah you've got to actually take
your time this can take five ten twenty thirty minutes just to get this anchored so you need to
get it so that whenever you say one they go one stomach ache i can feel that two just goes tight
yeah i can feel that and you'll know when they're getting it if they're not getting it maybe this is
the best technique for them or you need to spend more time talking about each one and get it so
they're experiencing it this is effectively trying to try to be a therapist in a few minutes so
i'm doing my best but you know there's a lot more detail i'll go into now once you've done that
what you need to do is the next step is where you start to make the changes
you're going to read out a number but not in the correct order so you start off go one two
three four five one two three four five then you might go one and they say stomach ache
and you say four what's four uh sweaty palms oh my palms are sweating two are my chests
going tight five the grip on the wheel and the idea is as you go through let them experience
each step but increase the speed that you're saying the numbers it will work if you just go one
four no it's got like one stomachache four sweaty palms two you don't need to click
on just clicking to emphasize the speed chest goes tight five grip on the wheel
now what will happen is after a while they will start to forget what the sequence is
so you'll say one and when it gets really exciting is when i get the wrong number so
you do one stomach ache three shoulders ache five and they say my chest goes tight now chest going
tight is number two not number five they've changed the order didn't get one and i'll say
sweaty palms no switch your arms is four not one don't tell them when they get it wrong
okay so you just go one four two five three one four five one two five four three one
and this one the dice are four if you're on your own you can just roll it and think number
six what was that number there is no number six
another six can you believe that look i've been saying that two
of all the double six and there is no six on the list
never mind if you if you're all the six world again you've got two so that you
can roll higher numbers if needed but yeah so that's what you do and the idea is it scrambles
this way you call scrambling eventually you'll say to them i need to run through in order one
and you might find they're like well what was it one that's the idea it takes a bit
of practice and this is why it doesn't work with like two numbers because you can't really
mix up two or three numbers it's difficult four to seven is ideal if you've got like 10
it's okay but it might be too many they get mixed up anyway so that's the idea of what
you do and i'll tell you the funny story of once i did this when i was training to be a therapist and
i had this man and i chose the wrong thing to do with him because i did this and he said oh i'll
be good at this because for years i used to write down lists i always remembered what each one was
but i went through this for about half an hour and he just kept remembering it every single time
and at the end he said i've done it i've done it is that the problem gone
no because the whole point is you're supposed to get the order mixed up it's supposed to be that
when you go out and drive you actually think your mind's thinking step one four you can't recall it
breaks the trigger you've probably heard when problems are triggered this breaks the trigger
so we can't remember which way around to do it now this is quite a basic technique and it does work
with symptoms and i often say don't work with symptoms i'm doing the best i can in a video
to help as many people as i can if you do want to get rid of the problem properly and professionally
i always recommend taking professional therapy it's a lot more detailed than this this is like
a little beginner's basic introduction this is not the kind of thing i would normally do but it
can work i've had this work for people who have completely fixed their problem just because of
this so i hope you found that video helpful check out his other videos on the screen now for more
help with your fear of driving if you want to book a one-to-one session with me contact me through my
website 1stdrive.com thanks for watching and as always i'll see you again soon for more videos