- Hey, everybody.
Recently, a member of our community reached out
about a new phenomenon
that they had read about called
revenge bedtime procrastination.
Sounds intense, doesn't it?
And if I'm being honest, I hadn't heard of it before,
but I was intrigued.
So I began reading what people were saying about it online.
And what I found was at revenge bedtime procrastination,
or what I'm now going to call RBP,
so that I can get through this,
is when we put off going to bed
so that we can have some me-time within our busy days.
We stay up later than we need to.
We mean there isn't really a reason behind our late nights,
and we know that staying up is gonna cause us
to feel tired in the morning,
so there are consequences to our actions.
Now this issue was first recognized in China
by some workers who work what is called the 9-9-6 schedule,
meaning they work from 9:00 to 9:00 six days a week.
I know, it's a lot,
and apparently that schedule's common in China,
but I didn't know.
Now the interesting part to me
was digging into why people do it.
Why would we stay up late even if we're already tired?
You know, if we know we should be going to bed,
yet we push on so we can do these things that we want to,
why, like why do we keep doing this?
Well, what I found was very interesting.
When we were work long hours, possibly most days a week,
we aren't left with any free time.
We can feel that, right?
We can leave for work before the sun comes up
and get back after it's set.
We can miss out on vacations, time with friends,
time to unwind and relax each day.
Things can start to feel out of control
or at least out of our control,
and as a way of fighting back,
we stay up way later than we should
to fight back against our intensive work schedule.
We don't want to work that late, and God damn it,
if we work so hard all week,
we deserve to at least one thing we love each day,
even if that means we have to give up some sleep
to make it happen.
We can also feel like our boss or job owns us
and gets to make decisions about what we do
and when we do it.
And because we need our jobs to pay our bills,
we can revolt in the only safe way.
By rebelling when we're finally finished with work.
And it kind of feels like our inner child
might be throwing a tantrum
or maybe our inner child is actually a teenager.
They're stomping their foot
and they're shouting about the long hours
and the shitty pay
and they're refusing to go to bed at a reasonable hour.
And I don't know about you, even just thinking about that,
I can like feel it viscerally,
like I know what that feels like and it's the worst.
No one likes to feel controlled
and everyone needs a break once in awhile.
We aren't robots, right?
So we try and steal the lost time back
by staying up late, doing what we want,
and getting away with it,
but not really.
Because not getting enough sleep isn't good for us.
I mean, we all know that, right?
We're supposed to get
at least seven and a half hours a night.
If you don't believe me, you can read the research
by sleep expert and neuroscientist, Dr. Matthew Walker,
and I'll link his articles below.
He finds a direct correlation
between the amount of sleep we get and our lifespan.
But I also know that lack of sleep
can affect our mental health,
and not getting time to unwind or decompress after work
can also have detrimental side effects.
We aren't meant to only do one thing every day,
and you've all heard me talk about the importance
of relationships and connections
and time to take care of our basic needs.
Not to mention that taking real breaks
allows us to think more clearly,
end up getting more done and be better at our jobs.
If our job is stealing our ability to take breaks,
of course we want to revolt and get revenge
and take that time back,
but we can't avoid sleep,
and if we do this for too long,
we can begin to experience
some symptoms of depression, anxiety,
not to mention other physical issues that could arise.
So let's talk about some of the ways
that we can fight back against RBP.
And my first option is to switch jobs.
We can try to find a job or even a shift or schedule
that's better suited to our need for time off
or our sleep schedule
because there are some of us who are not morning people
and are much more efficient with our work later in the day.
It's okay to work with,
not against your natural sleep wake cycle,
so if your current job is more flexible that way,
let's do it.
Or if you have the privilege of changing jobs
so that you have more time off,
you may want to consider that as well.
Now obviously, I know changing jobs is not always an option,
so my second tip is to create some time each week
for things you really enjoy.
If you miss connecting with your friends or family,
can we schedule in some of that time?
Can we FaceTime on our lunch break?
Schedule a get together on one of our days off?
When we get busy, there is still time for people.
We just have to make more of an effort to squeeze it in.
So find those times where you can fit in
some of what you're missing,
and if it's not really seeing others,
but working on your book, journaling,
watching your favorite TV show or whatever,
can we fit in one of those things each night
and set a limit?
Maybe it's just one episode that we watch
or only working on that project for one hour
before we start getting ready for bed.
Hopefully, if we make time for these things more regularly,
we won't feel such an intense urge
to fight back against those long work hours,
which rolls nicely into my next tip,
and that is to create a routine around your sleep time.
After you've watched that one episode
or halfway through your hour of free time,
maybe you make some camomile tea
or wash your face and put on your PJ's.
Having a routine that prepares not only our body,
but our mind for sleep
can really help us unwind more quickly and relax
so that when we lay down to go to sleep,
we can actually go to sleep
because one of the main issues with RBP
is that we can feel so queued up
from all of the work that we've done that day,
that even if we tried to go straight to bed,
we wouldn't be able to fall asleep.
We don't want that to happen.
So taking some time to unwind is healthy and necessary.
You could even take five minutes
before you try to go to sleep to jot down
some of the things that are on your mind.
Maybe some to-dos that are looming
or things you need to take care of
first thing in the morning, whatever it is.
We just want to get those worries
and stressors out of our mind and onto paper
so that we know we won't forget tomorrow.
And I personally do this and find it extremely helpful.
Next up is limiting time on backlit things.
I know, you knew this was coming.
Like your phone, your laptop, your TV, whatever it is,
limit that time before bed.
Now research says we need to give it three hours.
I say, if we can give ourselves 30 minutes,
it's a great start.
The one thing I really try to limit personally,
if not stop altogether, is bringing my phone with me to bed.
I know we all do it, but we will sleep better,
meaning fall asleep more quickly and stay asleep longer
if we don't do it.
Backlit or blue light emitting items
slow our brain's ability to create melatonin,
which if you didn't know,
it's responsible for our sleep-wake cycle.
Therefore, by bringing our phone to bed and being on it,
we are preventing our brain
from successfully putting us to sleep.
And my next tip is to be aware of your caffeine
and alcohol intake and lessen where needed.
I know, I'm full of, you know, exciting things here.
I know it's hard, but drinking coffee
or other caffeinated beverages too close to bedtime
makes it even harder for us to unwind,
calm our nervous system down and fall asleep.
Now I personally can't drink anything caffeinated
after 2:00 or 3:00 p.m., and I'm gonna be honest,
I used to not feel so affected by it,
but if I do it, I now, like more recently,
have started to notice
that when I try to go to bed, my mind is racing,
and it's gonna take me so much longer to fall asleep.
So just start noticing how it affects you
and adjust accordingly.
Also, drinking too much alcohol
can impede our sleep cycles too.
While it can help us fall asleep more quickly,
the quality of our sleep is severely diminished.
Sleep researchers have found that our REM sleep
is disrupted by excess alcohol,
which means that while we can fall asleep quickly,
we'll wake up after a few hours
and continue waking up every so often,
which causes our sleep to not be restorative
or even restful
and we can feel tired and worn out the next day as a result.
And finally, if you are feeling some symptoms
of anxiety or depression,
or if you're struggling to do what you need to do each day,
please reach out.
Find a therapist in your area,
and almost every therapist out there
is offering online therapy too by the way,
which would make it easier
to squeeze into our busy schedules,
and just get some extra support
because we all need it from time to time
and it can change your life for the better.
I hope you found this helpful.
It was so interesting
to read about revenge bedtime procrastination.
If you have any other video ideas or thoughts about RBP,
please leave those in the comments down below.
Thank you so much for watching and I will see you next time.
(gentle music)