I was making a program about women doing the school run in Chelsea
Turn that with a film crew outside a little school in Sloane Square.
You should pull up and treble Park.
-But mrs. Gordon Ramsay. -I thought you forgot about that.
No, of course, how could I possibly forget? She's very attractive.
Which is my key for not doing the school run chaps.
What'd you do, volunteer. I'll do the school run this morning.
Do it, the next morning, do it again, next morning do it again.
Fourth morning, say to your wife,
"What are those mums at the school quite slim, aren't they?"
Women drivers and vegetarians and if we could just forget these congestion charges
and have alternate days, one for women drivers, one the vegetarians,
London will be a dream to drive around, no?
How is this play, is this good, do you think?
-I'm a vegetarian. -You're a vegetarian. Get out!
What the hell are you doing?
I like that idea.
They drive 50 mile an hour, they sort of don't know where they go,
and they never indicate and the minute there's a problem on the road,
they suddenly get the steering wheel.
How are you able to tell that they're vegetarians?
This is the thing I like to think that of course.
Because they just look rather dodgy.
They in need of a good bloody fill at stake and sort of...
Now while we're on the subject of things that annoy us on the road
and motorway service stations, we've all been there, what do you think of the food?
Shockingly disgustingly fad, pretty dismal plastic.
-And expensive. -Gross imitation food.
Before you're at any motorway eat before you drive.
No, that's actually funny enough, no need to eat before you drive.
We've had a bit of an idea, we thought hang on a minute.
You're driving along in a car which has a big hot engine in the front.
Why not use that to cook your food as you drive along?
So this morning we had an idea. We run some tape here.
I'll show you what we did. This is a Subaru Forester
and strapped to its flat-4 engine
we have a succulent turkey breast to the reduction of porcini mushrooms
and red wine garnished with winter sprout.
What could be more delicious than that?
This is the larder we turned into a lotus the other day.
That's being used to cook a baby rack of lamb with market vegetables
dressed in olive oil and Mediterranean herbs.
Now the Suzuki Liana which we'll be cooking a wild salmon
on a bed of lemon thyme but accompanied by qualms Top Gear,
vegetarian option there.
Because we recognize we know that fish is justifiable homicide,
meets the murderous thing.
-You cook them on that? -Yeah, there on the engines now,
as thy're trundling along and forget gas masks six or 450 degrees.
The measurement here is revs we recommend 3000 rpm,
for about two hours, okay?
So after two hours I pulled one of the men. Here it is.
Let's have a look. How are we doing?
It's still a bit pink,
I had some seasoning, see if we can mask the smell
of engine oil in there and send it back out again I suspect.
Best thing to do.
Go back on the track, or the rotisserie as we like to call it
So really we've kind of worked it out
that if you were to set off from London from where you live
going to Leeds by the time you get to a wood all services near Sheffield
lunch should be about ready.
So they were trundling around our track this morning
for two hours and... Is the Stig here?
We've finally allowed him to come out of the cold
and we've allowed it into the base.
Can you bring the food over? Here he is.
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever in the studio the Stig.
Here it is.
What is sample some of that salmon? Tel me what you think.
This was actually cooked on the engine?
That was genuinely all of this food was cooked on the engine of a car.
Tell me if that matches up to motorway service cooking.
It certainly matches it yes definitely.
That is slightly dry, a little bit overcooked and...
So not worthy of three stars? Two stars?
-I wouldn't even give that. -One star?
-I wouldn't give that. -Not even one star?
-No. -Try a bit of lamb.
now just to remind everybody this was cooked on the larder,
market vegetables and dressed in olive oil Mediterranean herbs.
That's your sort of food, mate.
What do you think of his sort of food?
I think Gordon is about to be sick.
You have some. Have some sprout.
Not even the vegetarian likes it.
And that tastes of petrol, Castro oiling, grease...
Yes, it was cooked on an engine, that's why.
-And that's what tends to happen. -The lamb sadly is overcooked.
So 2,000 revs for two houses farting.
That's the problem. We cooked it on a four-speed car.
Here's a tip, if you're cooking lamb,
make sure it's five-speed, preferably six-speed.
Who would like to say Gordon's lap?
Yes, let's play it!
Looking cheerful. That's an aggressive start.
That's the most aggressive start we've seen all series.
Come on, you concentrate.
Does he have a clitoris or traffic water?
That's the whole point of this track there are there now.
Let's just see how tight you are on that lock.
Look at that precision just living there.
That is precision driving.
That's about 85 through there and then that's it.
We gonna turn, break. Turn gently. Too early.
That's where most celebs come off, but Cordon cross the line, and...
Gordon are.
Now these are the sort of times you're looking to be.
It was a dry day so you should be somewhere near the top.
One minute 50 seconds.
Same as me ladies and gentlemen
That is an epic time.
That is an epic time. I'm obviously not gonna put you above me.
-Just been rude. - Alphabetical order.
Alphabetical order and yes G comes after J.
On that wall chart it does.
Anyway, Gordon Ramsay, it's been an absolute right having you here.
-Thanks very much! -Thank you.