- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2goers.
Welcome back to our channel.
Are you in love with someone who doesn't love you back?
Do you long for someone who is not available?
Do you still have strong feelings for an ex-partner?
Is there someone you've been dating
who's confessed they no longer wish to see romantically?
If you are dealing with unrequited love,
you're not alone my friend.
Social psychologist, Roy Baumeister says 98% of people
have suffered from unrequited love
at one point in their life.
So what should you do about it?
How do you move on?
Well, here are a few tips
on how to deal with unrequited love.
Number one.
Accept their feelings
and the end of a possible relationship with them.
Have you let them know how you feel?
If they seem comfortable discussing the topic,
let them know how you feel about them.
An open discussion about how you both feel
could be a great start.
Once you found out how they feel,
you then might have an easier time moving on.
Do they not feel the same way?
Well, the first step in this case
would be to accept how they feel
and close the door on that possible relationship with them.
They've let you know they're not interested
in a relationship with you.
Finding out how they feel can be a way
to rip off the bandaid and start the journey to moving on.
It's best to stop any flirting with them
and stop any begging for them
to reconsider their feelings for you.
Accept your life won't be with them.
Move forward with other life possibilities.
Number two.
Stop daydreaming about them.
So how do you begin to accept
the end of a possible relationship?
Well, do you find yourself daydreaming about them?
If you simply have a crush and don't know how they feel,
let them know your feelings.
Don't think that'll work?
Try looking for signs they like you in the first place.
Do they get nervous and smile around you,
engage in conversations with you,
stare at you, look interested in what you have to say,
even know you exist?
If all signs show they don't like you
and you know they're unavailable,
it's time to stop the daydreaming.
Each time you catch yourself daydreaming about them,
focus your attention on something else you desire.
This could be a passion, a goal or something else.
Number three.
Allow yourself to mourn the idea of being with them.
Still having trouble accepting
they aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with you?
Well, perhaps you first need to mourn the loss of this idea
that you two could've been together, because you can't.
It was an idea, a daydream,
or perhaps maybe you were together at one point,
but you both have changed.
Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling.
Welcome this sadness in,
shed a tear, express your feelings to someone you trust
and then maybe you'll have an easier time moving on
after you've allowed yourself to express the emotions
to yourself or a friend.
Don't judge yourself for feeling a certain way strongly.
If you allow yourself to mourn,
then it may be easier for these feelings to pass
with due time and acceptance.
Number four.
Distract yourself with passion projects and new skills.
So how do you pass the time?
Distract yourself.
Pick up that old dusty guitar and get practicing.
Start a passion project, learn a new skill,
take a weekend trip.
All of these things are great distractions
and the distractions where you make progress
and learn something new are even better.
Turn the focus on yourself instead
and pour your heart into something else
besides romantic love.
You may even love yourself more in the process.
Number four.
Realize they aren't as perfect as they seem.
Still have a hard time dealing with feelings for your crush?
Well, maybe they aren't as perfect
as you make them out to be in your head.
Think about it.
Are you building something up in your head that isn't there?
We all have flaws, we're human.
We still love others, flaws and all,
but you may have missed out on some of your crush's flaws,
because you think they're more perfect than they really are.
You may have accidentally put your crush on a pedestal
when it's perhaps the idea of them that's perfect
than them in actuality.
The sooner you realize they're just human and not perfect,
the easier time you'll have in moving on.
And number six, know that there won't always be closure.
Still, keep moving forward.
Are you looking for closure?
Well, you might need to end your search,
because there isn't always closure in every relationship.
You can't always expect closure
and you can't depend on it to move on,
otherwise you may spend a long
and miserable time waiting for it.
If you have a crush that's unavailable,
you may be wondering if they would still choose you somehow.
If you've told them how you feel
and there are no signs they like you romantically,
it's best to stop waiting for signs that aren't there.
There won't always be a fulfilling discussion
where they give closure or say what you need to hear.
The trick is to keep moving forward and sooner or later,
you may realize you did receive closure,
a different kind through a passage of time
and self reflection.
You closed the book on them yourself.
So how will you deal with unrequited love?
What will be your distraction?
Feel free to share with us in the comments down below.
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