Hi there, it's Clay and this channel that you're watching - the relationshipinnergame
channel, I know that in the past we have made a lot of videos on the topic of getting back
together with your ex after a breakup and it's true that that is an area that we do
have a lot of expertise in.
However, I don't want to risk us being pigeon-holed as just people that focus on, you know, you
must get back together with your ex no matter what because that's absolutely not true.
That's not what I believe I'm at all.
And so moving forward from here, we're going to be creating content on other topics as
well.
You know, we've created over 300 videos on the topic of getting back together with your
ex.
I really don't imagine there's a whole lot more to say on the subject.
Maybe if there is something that comes up, we can make a video on that topic, but for
the time being, I'm actually going to be talking about for the next several videos, how to
move on after a breakup.
OK?
And what, what we're going to be talking about is, is knowing the difference between when
to try to work things out with your ex, when to try to move on, when to try to, you know,
not get back together with your ex and kind of pick up the pieces of your life and create
something great out of that.
So that's really what we're going to be focusing on for the time being.
OK.
And the topic of this video is on how to know if you should be moving on from your ex.
How to know when it's time to not try to work things out any longer.
OK?
And there are really three ways to, to know this in three ways that I would recommend
that you really consider.
And the first is if you've maybe been interested in working things out with your ex, you've
been maybe holding out hope or kind of keeping the doors open to see what may or may not
happen.
And maybe it's been awhile, right?
It's been a couple months, three months, maybe even as much as six months, somewhere in that
range where, you haven't made any progress towards working things out.
Right?
And I'm not talking about making no progress whatsoever.
I'm talking about where things are just exactly where they were like three months ago, six
months ago, right.
That would make me as like a person that cares about you and you're getting the love and
relationship that you want.
That would make me question, hey, is this something that you really want to do?
Now I understand that sometimes things can take time and sometimes progress happens slower
than you'd like, but if there's just no progress whatsoever after, I don't know, three to six
months, then that would really make me want to stop in and check in with you and say,
hey, is this really what you want to do?
Is this really where you want to go?
And that's fine if you do want to keep trying to work things out with your ex, but that
would just make me stop and ask you if that's something that you really want.
OK.
So if it's been three to six months, I would really encourage you to stop and say, OK,
is this, is this really the direction I want to go in, is do I really want to keep trying
to work things out?
Or maybe I need to actually take a real look at this and say, OK, I'm, this clearly is
not really going anywhere right now.
So maybe it might be time for me to think about moving on.
OK, that's the first way that you can tell that it might be time to move on from your
ex.
OK?
The second thing is if you make a five by five lists and you realize that your ex is
not matching that list.
So, we have an exercise that we teach people called the five by five lists and I'm not
going to go into the whole thing right now because it's kind of an elaborate process.
But basically what you want to do is you want to stop and actually think about what kind
of person you want to be in a relationship with, what kind of relationship that you want
to have.
What things are just non negotiable and what things you just don't want to put up with
no matter what and what things you absolutely must have in a partner or relationship.
OK.
And then after you kind of know what it is you're looking for in a partner, you want
to actually stop and look it over and say like, OK, well I, I see it.
There are these various qualities that either want or don't want.
Well, how does, how does, like any person that I might be romantically interested in
stack up to that, how does my ex stack up to that?
And if your ex just isn't stacking up to the, the things that you want in a relationship,
you have to come to terms with the fact that, uh, you probably won't be able to have the
kind of loving relationship that you really want with this person.
And I know it can be hard and I know that there are a lot of people out there that really
want to believe that their Ex might change or that they'll come around or whatever.
But in my experience, it can be very difficult and very frustrating and a not very good of
an experience for you to be betting on potential or for you to be hoping that somebody will
change.
Now, can people change?
Yes!
Do People Change?
Absolutely.
But I don't want you to be making decisions about your own future, betting on the possibility
that somebody else might change.
What I want you to do is to make choices about your future, based off of the actual person
that's in front of you, based off of the actual person that you might actually consider being
in a relationship with.
And if the person that's right here, right now, in the present moment is not the kind
of person that you can have a relationship with the kind of relationship that you want,
the kind of relationship that's going to satisfy you.
Then you need to have the strength to walk away because the more time that you spend
trying to make things work with somebody who, um, is unable or unwilling to give you what
you want, the less space you'll have in your life to find and welcome in somebody who can
and would love to give you the kind of love that you really, truly deserve.
OK?
That's the second a side that might be time to move on from your ex.
And the third sign that might be time to move on is just if, if you want to write, nobody
says you to try to work things out with your ex.
If you just don't want to get back together with him for any number of reasons either
because of what happened between the two of you or maybe you're just tired of trying or
anything like that, you know, that's absolutely valid.
Nobody said you have to keep trying to make things work forever.
And if you just want to take your life in a new direction, that's absolutely OK.
That's absolutely valid.
And that's something that I can absolutely respect.
So once again, this has been clay with relationshipinngergame, we are back, we are doing youtube videos again
and I'm actually excited because we actually have put out a new cool thing for you guys.
It's completely free.
It's called the self love bootcamp and you can find that over on our website, modern
loved life slash self love.
That's modern love.life/self-love.
OK, there's a dash in between self-love because you know, it's two words, right?
So go ahead and head over there.
You can sign up completely for free and it's just like a little short crash course in how
to improve the amount of love that you have for yourself.
And this is really important, I think especially if you're going through a breakup or trying
to move on after a break up, is to really work on and improve your level of self love.
So if that's something that you would like to, uh, to go ahead and check out, head on
over to modern love.life/self-love.
Anyway, this has been clay and we are back doing youtube videos and I'll see you in our
next video.
Take care.