- Today, Ryan and I are gonna play NBA 2K18
to end the Clippers-Lakers rivalry.
- There was never a rivalry.
That would suggest that you won something.
- There, okay.
- I don't really ever get nervous for things.
I'm very nervous right now.
If I lose in front of the internet right now,
it will shatter me as a man.
I don't think I could walk back into work the next day.
- I think I'm a decent 2K player.
I've been playing all the games for a long time now.
- This is my first time playing 2K18.
That's not a pre-excuse, by the way.
I'm not just already making excuses.
- There's one more thing I haven't told you yet.
- Oh Jesus Christ, another trick, alright what is is?
- Say we raise the stakes.
The loser of this match - Oh no.
- has to come into work tomorrow
wearing a sign around their neck
that says, I love the Lakers or I love the Clippers
and post a photo on social media
that they can't take down for 24 hours.
- Are you (bleep) kidding me?
(groans) - What do you say?
- If I don't take this bet, it's gonna make me
look like I'm not confident in my abilities.
Alright, let's do it.
Let's just get it over with, shake the hand.
Just whoever watches this, if you see this post later,
for all you Laker fans, I was coerced into doing this.
Oh my god I'm so (bleep) nervous.
- Uh, bad, bad.
- That could be the only good thing
to happen to you for this game.
- If Lonzo balls good in this game I'm gonna lose it.
- Rebound! Okay.
- Julius has been working on his three all summer.
That's some (bleep) horse (bleep).
How do you miss that shot?
You have no chance against the kid.
- Aw, bad, okay, come on.
- (bleep) him up.
Let's go, Brooky.
Come on, get back on defense now
you lumbering giant.
Okay, come on, come on, come on.
Oh my gosh.
- Gimme that (bleep).
Run the floor, KCP, it's Austin Rivers.
- Good foul.
- Oh (bleep).
Oh (bleep) I was looking at the top.
Okay, so where's the shot bar?
- Okay, so it's gonna be by his head
so release square as it hits.
I'm giving him tips.
- Oh (bleep) that was terrible.
Oh boy, okay.
Good thing I tested it out on a free throw.
- Yeah, alright.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
Foul him! - Hey, we're on the board.
- Okay, cool cool cool cool.
- Too small.
Mouse in the house.
- D.J. did you work on anything in the postseason?
Like Austin did.
- Austin Rivers jump shot, not concerned.
But I am concerned about that.
- Hey.
- It's okay, he's missing this free throw.
It's coming off.
What he's like a 30% shooter?
- I just gotta shake off the nerves.
- This one's going to the popcorn guy.
- I gotta shake off the nerves.
Okay, you know what?
That's fine.
- This game is somewhat realistic.
That's money.
- You know, they got the weird looking jump shot accurate.
I will say that.
- They got it, they got it.
And it went in, so this game is realistic.
- Can Gallinari hit threes?
- Give it to the point guard.
Run the break, Lonzo.
(both shouting)
Let's go.
He's the chosen one, he's on fire.
- Hey, let's get a little screen,
a little pick and roll.
That didn't work, that didn't work at all.
- Oh (bleep)
- Alright.
Alright, Blake.
- It was a mistimed jump.
- Oh, cool, yeah we don't need to guard him.
It'd be silly to guard his player.
Come on, Blake.
- Oh, that's garbage.
No way.
- I shouldn't have got that.
- He hits a (bleep) floater off the board,
are you kidding me?
Oh, no.
Lonzo at the buzzer. - No.
(buzzing)
- Aw, don't do the kid like that, that's horse (bleep).
- Okay.
- This is stressful.
This has taken a year off my life.
I want to let you know, I'm not having fun right now.
- Down four.
- You know what it is, it's those new jerseys,
it's those new Nike jerseys, they look so nice.
- Dude, our other jerseys were so trash.
- Yeah it does have Clippers on the chest
so what do you expect.
No no no, this guy can pass.
Get that (bleep) out.
- No.
It's at this point that I'm worried, we'll say that.
- This is good basketball.
That's good basketball right there.
- It's at this point that I'm a little worried.
- That's how you move the ball.
No, not Lou Will, don't let him shoot.
(bleep) Sweet box out, Jordan.
Oh, and then you (bleep) killed it.
- And one.
He can make that.
- Ooh, Patrick Beverly, oh (bleep).
- First Team All-Defense.
- He is First Team All-Defense
I'll give you that's realistic.
But not today.
- Come on, Gallo.
Oh, you're slow, you're slow.
- Oh that's money.
And one!
No, no, no, damn it.
Brook, you gotta convert that.
I know you're 38 years old, but Jesus, man.
Squeeze what you got out of that cartilage.
Not today, Blake.
- No, lock him down Austin.
- Oh my God, you just got blocked by Austin Rivers.
Oh, Jesus.
That's when it's time to hang it up.
- Alright halftime. - Halftime,
feeling pretty good at the moment.
- I'm very worried.
- Okay, 19-13, I am very much in this.
D.J. doesn't get what the play is.
Cool, so we passed it to Brook Lopez
who's on the other team.
- Honestly, I'm just channeling through Lonzo right now.
- No.
- Oh! How do you miss a dunk, Julius?
You worked out all summer.
8% body fat, come on.
- Is that accurate?
- Yeah, the dude's a beast.
You see him without his shirt off, it's impressive.
Look at the outlet pass.
You miss the wide open dunk, but you bang out on D.J.
Great.
- His body is looking good, by the way, on further review.
- He does look good, the guys is sleek.
He's like a sports car.
- At this point, my game is just pass it to Blake
and try not to get a turnover.
No, not yet.
- (laughs) Not yet.
It's okay Lonzo, everyone's gonna get blocked by D.J.
at some time, it's a rite of passage.
- Yeah, we need a shot.
Milos to Bev.
No that's Lou Will.
- Locked up, locked up, locked up, oh no!
Oh rest in peace, Zubac.
I'm so sorry, Ivica, that's my bad.
Oh, God.
- That was...
- You didn't have to do him like that.
Get him back, Zu.
Get him back.
- No, don't get him back.
He apologized.
Okay.
- That was a poor close to the quarter.
- The dunk has me rejuvenated.
- Yeah that was, I jumped on Blake Griffin
he pump-faked from three?
I deserve to be dunked on after that.
Uh-oh, Mitch Harrell.
- That's not even his name.
- Is it not Mitch?
It might as well, he looks like a Mitch.
Okay.
- We're back, we're back, we're in it.
Fourth quarter, ice in my veins.
- Clippers dunking the ball is their only offense,
who would've thought?
- You are right about that.
I will say, you are right about that.
- I'm so (bleep) nervous right now.
- Can I get a little help?
A little help!
- You missed a layup, Jordan?
He missed a (bleep) layup.
- One minute.
- D up, D up, D up.
- No.
- Yes.
- No.
This is it.
Oh my gosh.
(muttering)
- Yes.
No (bleep) way.
- That was it.
That was all I had.
Look how sad Blake looked on the bench.
- Yeah.
- Steal, I could steal, I could steal.
- Get used to that expression.
- Dunk.
- That's fine, as long as you didn't foul him.
Just keep it at a two possession game.
Give it to the kid.
- It's not over.
It's not over.
It's close to being over.
Honestly, you couldn't have just given me that one?
- No, I don't Sam Dekker to score.
- Please don't make it.
Don't run it up.
He ran it up.
Good game.
- Good game, man.
You gave me quite a scare there in the fourth quarter.
- Yeah.
- I could feel the momentum shifting.
- I lost and it was my own bet.
- Oh my God, I forgot we made that bet.
- Oh, did you?
- I'm serious, that's amazing.
There's another layer to this victory.
- So I just made this sign.
I honestly don't know why I spent so much time on it.
He's ready with his camera,
which is maybe the worst part of this situation.
- [Ryan] I heard the news.
It looks like the defeated man has shown himself.
And he's wearing a lovely, lovely sign.
- I made it nice.
- [Ryan] Man, I love the Lakers too, dude.
It's good to have another one in the office.
It really is.
- I'm just gonna take it.
- [Ryan] We're just two Laker fans hanging out.
- Just two fans of Los Angeles basketball teams.
- [Ryan] Yeah.
No, there's only one basketball team in Los Angeles.
You have them on your chest, why don't you say it?
(laughs)
- [Zach] I don't miss Chris Paul at all.
- [Ryan] I think you do.
I think you call Chris Paul late at night and hang up.